I was with my ex for 7 years, from high school through college and into adult life. I knew her family like my own. I was there for weddings, funerals, birthdays, her nieces and nephews call me uncle.

We were happy, had a future planned, and even started looking for a house and wedding venue. Then out of nowhere, she tells me she has feelings for someone at work and ends it. Moves out, blocks me, and disappears. That was 7 months ago.

I still see her family sometimes. I went to her nephew’s birthday last week, she was there too, and completely ignored me like I never existed.

How do you deal with that kind of pain? How do you get over someone who threw everything away like it meant nothing. Can i really find someone to trust again or should i just end it?

>>33358215 (OP)
Be a man and cut contact with her or her family.

It's hard for me to believe that it happened like that out of nowhere. There had to be signs or some feelings either of you wasn't expressing.

Don't be insecure and move on

i would maybe start by not going to social gatherings where theres a high chance of running into her? who the fuck goes to their exe's nephew's birthday party? fucking weird bro

>>33358236
>>33358235
Our families were close even before we got together. I proposed three months before the breakup, she said yes, hugged me, and sent the ring pic to the family group chat. We found a venue and paid a deposit.

Then out of nowhere, she says she has feelings for a coworker and ends it. No signs, no warning, just gone.

Cutting contact isn’t easy when her family still treats me like one of their own and I’ve been in her nephew’s life since he was born. I’m not insecure. I’m just trying to process being blindsided like that.

Cut off contact with them and blame it on her.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blockhead_(thought_experiment)
drop this into their life and move on, why?

>>33358342
I probably should do that. My original plan was to write a suicide note and post it on all my socials on my birthday and then hang myself

>>33358373
>My original plan was to write a suicide note and post it on all my socials on my birthday and then hang myself
Weak ass faggot bitch. "Waah I can't handle real life, no one else has ever suffered heartbreak. I'm a massive fucking faggot."
Fuck you

>>33358286
It doesn't matter
How do you expect to heal if you still have her and her family ingrained in your life? You literally CAN'T
You will have to absolutely delete her and her family from your life, the more you let them linger, the longer you will not process and overcome this traumatic experience
Do the arrangements of disconnecting from everything around her world and just tell your ex-parents-in-law that you must distance yourself for your mental health, it's not rocket science
Then, FORCE yourself to stop thinking about her and everything related to her whenever the thoughts pop in
Trust me on this, this is the process to heal breakups. Literally not thinking about them and moving on with your life.
And FUCK this bitch and everything that she stands for

>>33358215 (OP)
>someone at work
if it makes you feel better, I am 100% sure her relationship with the someone at work will end up badly, one of them will be fired, and the one who isn't fired will be ostracized until he or she quits
Having feelings for someone in the workplace NEVER works.

>>33358394
Honestly, I would, but our families are connected. Her family lives right across from my parents. My dad always invites her dad and grandfather to barbecues, and our moms are close like sisters, they used to host Thanksgiving together. Our families even exchange Christmas gifts.

Cutting them off would mean asking my family to stop inviting them or skipping those gatherings myself. It’s not that simple

>>33358455
>her relationship with that someone at work will end up badly.

He turned her down, apparently he was already in a relationship, or at least that’s what her mom told my mom. From what I saw at the birthday party, it seemed true. But it didn’t make me feel any better. If anything, it just means she threw away everything we had for a chance that something might happen with that guy.

>>33358373
No, not that.
But if they're not willing to see how fucked this is to you I don't think you should give much of a shit for them.

>>33358215 (OP)
>someone at work
Do you know what he looks like? Does he mog you? Be honest

>>33358485
Well too bad so sad for her. If you're a man, you do not take her back.

>>33358485
You deserve way better Anon, she did you a favour. She is not the person you have built in your mind I hope you can realize it one day

>>33358485
she threw everything you guys had because she is a woman, and women cannot even fathom the possibility of being rejected, she did not end up the relationship "for a chance that something might happen", she did it because she was damn sure she wouldn't be rejected
Now, you must not take her back, and move on. I know it's not easy, I know it's painful, but just give it time. If it's a possibility, taking time off now or in the future and going somewhere nice may help

>>33358461
Then either get good at shielding yourself away from them from these situations (don't partake in social gatherings with them, ask your family to not mention them to you, etc), or move out
What are you, 15 years old?
Seriously, you will not let your mind process your feelings and heal properly if they are constantly being rubbed on your face, so stop it or you WILL keep suffering for years
I wish you could know how serious I am - I made this mistake and wasted years longer than I should to move on

On another topic, besides deleting her family from your life, also take some accountability. It's entirely her fault and never think otherwise BUT think about it, if you were fitter, would it have helped? If you were richer? If you were overall better dressed and well groomed? If you had a respectable career? If you did anything admirable? If you were better in bed? Self analyze and get on the self-improvement train my dude. Think of the best girl you can meet out there (and it's NOT your bitch ex), wouldn't you want to be your best version for her?

>>33358543
>wouldn't you want to be your best version for her?
NTA; I get where you are coming from but it's objectively not his fault, she is just a shitty person, she did reveal her true self and he should be grateful to not have her as a life partner anymore. Self-improvement is important and he should do it, especially now to speed the healing process, but I don't think it would have made a difference, even if he was fitter, better groomed etc... she is a vile person, she has no empathy and acts on impulse, there's no way to predict or prevent any actions from a person this rotten

>>33358509
Yeah, he does. I didn’t know him at first, but our moms did some digging and found out who he was. Honestly, he’s a good-looking guy, not taller than me, but he’s got long dirty blond hair, green eyes, sharp features, and a solid physique. I go to the gym too, but he’s got an impressive build.

>>33358541
I wouldn’t take her back. She’d probably do the same thing again, and next time, she might not even leave first, just cheat and wait until the other guy wants her.

>>33358543
I don’t have much choice right now. I want to move out, but after she ghosted me, I had to pack up everything from our apartment by myself. We still had three months left on the lease, and she stopped paying her share, so I covered the full rent. Her dad eventually paid me back, but I ended up moving back in with my parents. I should probably ask them not to invite her family over while I’m here for the month until my new place is ready.

I did everything I could as a partner, cooked, cleaned half the time, did most of the groceries because she hated it, and never stopped her from going out with friends. We rarely fought, had a good sex life, and went on regular dates. I have a solid job, make more than she did, and have good savings. And yet, she left like none of it mattered.

>>33358541
Exactly. She probably knew he was already with someone but thought that if she made herself available, he’d leave his girlfriend for her. She didn’t care about you, she genuinely believed she could do better. That’s why she left you hanging, moved out without warning, and didn’t even bother paying her share. She didn’t feel the need to keep you as a backup because she was convinced he’d jump at the chance to be with her.

It didn’t matter that she was about to marry you, she thought you were just the best she could settle for, not the best she could get. Same thing happened to me. And the worst part? Some people will still assume you did something wrong. Like there's no way she could go from happily accepting your proposal to chasing another guy in under three months unless you somehow caused it.

>>33358461
>[it] would mean asking my family to stop inviting them or skipping those gatherings myself
>it's not that simple
No, Anon, it IS that simple. If your family has even a modicum of respect for you, they should honor the wish that there be NO REMINDERS of that snake in your life. Listen, man, it would be different if the breakup were amicable or if the relationship only lasted for a year or two, but you gave your ex SEVEN YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. She tossed you aside like stinking garbage the moment there may have been an INKLING of a chance to get with someone that she perceived as "better." Her parents should be ashamed of her. Everyone that knew you two while you were dating should be ashamed of her. I won't pretend to understand the kind of pain you're going through, but you need to ante up and say enough is e-fucking-nough. No more visits with her nephews. No more small talk. No more warmth or friendliness to anyone remotely associated with her. And you can tell your parents something like this: "I've been suffering for almost a year now and I find it nearly impossible to have hope in the prospect of finding love again, so I would really appreciate it if you could keep the holidays and family parties strictly for family. This woman stabbed me in the back and nobody really seems to understand the pain of what I'm going through, so it's either you have me or your neighbors around for the holidays." Now in any other situation an ultimatum like that would seem childish, but this is different. Fuck her. Process this however you need to internally, but externally you need to take actions to make it as if this woman never existed.

>>33358461
>My son asks me to stop hanging out with the family whose daughter left me for a co-worker
Sure thing, son. Fuck those cunts. I'll return any Xmas presents they send

Have some boundaries bro. You're a simp, just like I was. You're allowed to be pissed off and tell your family to cut these people out. You want NOTHING to do with them and that's 100% fair enough

>>33359399
>>33359815
You're right. Both of you are. I think I’ve been trying to keep the peace for too long, hoping it’d somehow make the pain easier to deal with, but it hasn’t. I’m going to talk to my parents and let them know how much this is messing with me, and ask them not to invite her family when I’m around. At least for now, I need that space.

I was planning to take a trip after settling into my new place, but honestly, I think I’ll just go as soon as I can. I also decided I’m blocking her family and a few mutual friends. I need a clean break. I gave her seven years, and she walked out like none of it mattered. I’ve been carrying this for months while everyone around me pretends it’s just another breakup.

>>33358373
Kek. Quit being a fag. I know this sucks, trust me I get it anon, I've been there. But don't let this FUCKING WHORE (yeah that's what she is) destroy your life.

Seeiously. The ONLY right move for you here is to improve your life. This nasty slut thought she could do better than you, and you are proving it by being a bitch. Killing yourself will also prove it to her - that she made the right choice by leaving you. The only way to truly get back at her, is to improve yourself and then get with a woman that's better than her. Even better if your ex's relationship fails and she wants you back and you get to reject her.

You can and will do better than her, man. She is a disloyal piece of shit. You're still attached so you don't get it yet. You dodged a bullet. Better that it happened now than after marriage so you don't have the legal issues.

Anyways, it's also worth looking into the reasons why she left you. Women generally don't just up and leave, they have their reasons. Doesn't excuse anything, I'm just saying. Patch up those flaws for your next relationship so it lasts. Good luck.

>>33360065
Good on you mate

Life is hard, and it's made harder I'd you don't set and enforce boundaries such as this. It's essential for your wellbeing to move in and not be around these people. Don't feel bad for doing what's in your best interests after that bitch walked out in you. Fuck her and fuck her family. Frankly, fuck more or less everyone. Nice guys really do finish last, it's true.

>>33358286
Is the other person, someone with darker skin tone?

>>33359399
Based

We all need someone like you, godspeed anon

>>33360304
Jerk your clitty somewhere else, troon.

>>33360261
Yeah, I had those thoughts back when I was still living alone in that apartment. I was at my lowest and almost went through with it, but the one thing that stopped me was knowing how much it would destroy my parents and my sister. So I packed up my stuff, moved back in with my folks, put everything in storage, and told her brother to come get her shit or I’d toss it.

Looking back, the only thing that really changed in those last few months was her spending more time on TikTok. She’d zone out for hours, and sometimes she’d just randomly get pissed at me for no reason, no argument or anything, and wouldn’t talk to me for hours, sometimes even a full day.

>>33360541
Yeah but why did she do that?

My last relationship went to shit because I complained about my life too much. I worked from home in my dressing gown kek no wonder she lost interest in sex

>>33360616
Yeah, I get that. Looking back, the only thing that changed before things went downhill was when my grandmother passed away. I broke down the night I found out, but after that, I pulled myself together and helped with the funeral and everything. I was a bit down for a week or so, but nothing extreme. I still did my share around the house, gave her attention, and stayed present.

She still accepted my proposal months later. But I think that was around the time she started spending more time on TikTok and slowly started pulling away.

>>33360655
I remember the feeling I'd my ex-gf just lying in bed and scrolling her phone instead of talking to me or flirting / fucking.

Grim.

Good luck anon. That's all I can really say.

>>33360655
Yeah now it makes sense, she got the Ike when you cried like a bitch in front of her, she probably accepted you proposal thinking that the feeling she has will vanish with time but she lost all respect for you and was already looking for another man, probably miscalculated with that guy and thought he was single and would take her because he was friendly with her at work.

>>33358566
Yes, I fully agree with you. I wrote in my post exactly that it is her fault entirely, but using this pain as fuel for some self improvement is a very common and actually good path to take forward
>>33359399
Thank you for wording it much better than I could have, this is exactly what I wanted to say
And I will once again insist that distancing yourself from everything about her is CRUCIAL for healing, you do not, can not and will not get over it if time after time you are back to surfing memories and feelings because you're at some stupid kid's party or have your ex parents in law barbecuing with your family - you need to occupy yourself thinking about what comes next in your life
>>33360065
>ask them not to invite her family when I’m around. At least for now, I need that space
Yes, exactly, you do!
>>33360541
>>33360662
Male doomscrollers are retarded, but female doomscrollers are almost literally brain dead, a lost cause

>>33360841
>Male doomscrollers are retarded, but female doomscrollers are almost literally brain dead, a lost cause.

Wouldn't be surprised if she stumbled on one of those manifestation pages on there and thought that she could manifest a better man and the only thing holding her down was OP. Happened to me, like everything was perfect and boom she began to talk about some female dating TikToker and wanted to break up to find her true love, she's still single and living with her friend.

>>33358215 (OP)
I'm sorry that happened to you, Anon. That was shitty of her to do, and not your fault besides.
>>33358286
If you were engaged maybe she's having a crisis of some kind. Again, not your problem. She couldn't have handled this in a worse way.

As usual, the best remedy for getting over a breakup is hitting the town with the boys to find someone else to sleep with. If you're not ready for that then just have fun with friends.

>>33360908
This sounds to me like she had FOMO, you and her being together since high school, and being her probably first boyfriend she may have begun to think how much different her life would be if she were with someone else and the proposal made it escalate even more. Still do not take her back, never do that

>>33360864
Social media turns women into retards and men into incels

>>33358215 (OP)
Can you share some of the thoughts running through your head?

>>33361024
All the things she said.