How do you forget a best friend who doesn't want to be friends anymore
It all hurts so bad

>>33359568 (OP)
What happened?

>>33359568 (OP)
Especially if it's my fault and also I have ocd which makes me have intrusive thoughts that remind me of everything and it always hurts

>>33359573
I had a mental breakdown and hurt everyone

>>33359573
They were a really good friend and the only friend I had and I liked everything about them and I wanted to build a friend group and instead I just hurt everyone and pushed everyone away and now everyone hates me and I don't even have a friend in my family

>>33359568 (OP)
Ke is that you

>>33359592
No

>>33359596
Penis?

>>33359598
What are you trying to say dude I'm not in the mood for joking I'm having a lot of issues

>>33359590
Why did you have a melty tho

>>33359620
Mental illness and extremely bad environment for a long time

>>33359624
Are you going to give context or fuck around?

>>33359624
And bad shit before that

Give the story or cope and fuck off

>>33359631
No because I don't want to think about any of that it makes me have an even worse time. I asked how to not think about any of this anymore and not here's my life story

>>33359650
Do something else

>>33359644
What don't you understand? I have a disorder and issues with being bullied all my life, when combined with a bad environment and circumstances it triggered a breakdown and I can't undo it. I can't fix anything or meet new people. I'm not here to say my entire life story because it makes me feel worse to think about anything from the past. I'm asking how to forget not please make me remember

>>33359666
I'm asking why you had a melty not your whole life story

>>33359662
I try but I suck at everything because of my disorder, it takes me so much more than the average person to learn or do anything. I fuck up the smallest things. I try to distract myself and I get intrusive thoughts about everything. I'm a few bad days from calling it quits

>>33359672
And I told you 20 times, mental health disorder, bad experiences, bad environment and bad circumstances. You don't need to know more than that

>>33359568 (OP)
Just live life. Remember who you are. Spend time in nature. Ground yourself.
You'll forge new bonds with time, stay neutral early on until you have something worth bonding over

>>33359690
Touch grass

>>33359568 (OP)
I won't read yet another how to get over it thread. You simply turn your attention to other matters.

>>33359702
And what about intrusive thoughts?

>>33359590
This is where you apologize.

>>33359702
>>33359712
They're memories of events and things and people and it makes it difficult to distract myself

>>33359712
>intrusive thoughts?
What sort?

>>33359718
I did and they forgive me but don't want to be friends

>>33359722
>>33359719
This and just memories and thoughts that remind you of everything

>>33359725
Why are you doing this on purpose

>>33359732
Explain?

>>33359738
They forgave you so why do you not want to be friends

OP it sounds like you are in love with them for me friendship is just like a good environment . It's a place to engage hobbies and interests . They are probably spacing you out because they can see that you are obsessed with them and they aren't okay with that

>>33359742
It would mean the world to me if they wanted to, but they don't want to. I'm not confusing what they mean, they told me they don't want to.

>>33359746
Ok I get it now. Just give it time and distract yourself. Where ca you go to meet new friends?

>>33359568 (OP)
You just gotta move on man, I've been there, best thing you can do is move onto things on a good note, if they really don't want to do anything with you, then thats their choice,
I called up some friends on Canada day about that, and apologized for being a sack of shit, I accepted the fact that they don't want anything to do with me after and that's okay, and it's understandable on their part, I appreciate their memories and I thought it was the right thing to do
(however some thought i was going to kill myself after or was planning on it, but it was also understandable due to my depression at the time from other shit I've done)

>>33359753
Nowhere. I'm in special education in school, and maybe they will kick me out.

>>33359743
I'm not. I was extremely happy to have a friend. I had none because of being in special education and something bad that happened to me. I never had any sexual thoughts about them and I never "made a move" even when they were single. I never talked about anything sexual. I wanted to be good lifelong friends and I was scared of losing them because I'd be where I am now, with no one and no way to make friends. I also liked their friends and who they chose to be in a relationship with, it was an older and extremely intelligent person who was everythign I wished to be since I was a kid. My dream was to be friends for life and have a friend group with everyone and be like everyone else. But this isn't even important anymore. I'm not asking why or why not, I'm asking how I can move on when I have so many issues.

>>33359743
And why can't friendship involve love that isn't sexual? Is friendship just acquaintanceship? I love my mom but it isn't sexual. I loved someone male I was best friends with. Is it not normal to love someone you care about and is your friend?

>>33359796
Why is friendship just good environment? It's not an environment it's a relationship between two people. It's not a transaction. What are acquaintanceships if friendships are this. I don't even want to have friends if I'm just an environment

>>33359796
I never mentioned sex
>>33359801
You aren't the only one who feels like that anon, don't worry. There are good people out there for you to find

>>33359568 (OP)
I had a best friend once, I think, but I've forgotten

>>33360542
I had a few but I was never their best friend back

>>33359568 (OP)
You might not forget. Just drink some water, take breaks when you can, be good to yourself since you had a melty, and focus on your life goals. Are you in school, do you have a job, hobbies, a career? Focus on them. You can only go forward so make the best of your situation

If they're not willing to accept you back, that's a painful truth that you can't fix regardless on how much you yearn for it, it really royally sucks but you can't force them to like you and pretend what happened never happened. I'm sorry but the genie is out of the bottle.

If this is the case, the best thing you can do is learn from this experience, you may not see it now, but there are always friends out there to be made, work on yourself, become a better person that people would want to befriend. Learn from the mistake. Most importantly release the anger, release the pain, and release the hate (for yourself and them if applicable).

If the friendship is salvageable it can always come back, but you need to step up and take ownership of your mistakes. Sometimes time away to focus on yourself is really the best medicine.

(I had a major falling out with a major friend circle which was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to experience. It's really a incredibly isolating and terrible thing to experience your social support circle just crumble away. In the end I recognized it was a bad situation for me and a bad situation for them and while it still hurts knowing they go on without me, I've learned to better appreciate when you have a good thing and how to be a better friend.

>>33359568 (OP)
You can't forget. But you can move forward.

>>33359590
You fucked up and now you're dealing with the consequences of your actions. This will teach you how to act in the future and to take steps not to repeat these very painful mistakes you've made. The more pain you feel right now, the better. Pain exists to teach you. Whether physical or mental. Remember that time you touched the hot stove? Yeah, that taught you not to put your hands on it again, right? Works the same way with mental pain. You acted like a retarded faggot and now you don't get the privilege of friendship. Next time you won't act like a retarded faggot, yeah?

>>33359650
You have to think about it. That's the point of all this. If you don't think about it, you won't learn. Face your mistakes. Feel bad about them. Resolve not to repeat them. This is the process of becoming mature. If you seek avoidance your entire life, you will end up some old drunk loser.

>>33359568 (OP)
>>33367714
I would also like to add that there is a strong chance you can reconnect with them in the future once the butthurt subsides, so hold out some hope, anon. The caveat, of course, is that you have to better yourself. You have to genuinely learn from this mistake and work on becoming a better version of yourself. If they see you again in 6 months, a year, two years, etc. and you are a totally different person, then they will give you another chance. If you are acting like the same miserable retarded fag though, probably not.

>>33359568 (OP)
It's hard

>>33364750
Yes I'm in school, but my degree will be worthless. I don't have anything going for me at all. I was put in a special program and I wasn't properly socialized or taught anything in school. Basically to pass any subject you just had to know 10% of what's actually required from people in a regular program to get a passing grade. I got nothing from school and my degree will be worthless too. But even if it weren't worthless I don't have what it takes for uni either way. I feel so inferior and struggle with basic things. I'm trying regardless, but I just don't see any hope for myself in anything.

>>33366029
I definitely know how to be a better friend now but I'm scared I'll never have a friend again because most people already have friends by now and I have nowhere to even meet people and when I do have a chance to meet people I am reminded of everything from my life and stuff when I was even a toddler and I just start to have a panic attack and can't get myself to try because it never went well for me at all. And I definitely won't meet anyone like them, it was once in a lifetime chance to meet people my age at a point when not everyone already has friends and to be friends for life, I liked them a lot and cared about them, they were very smart and kind and funny and have a lot of interests I care about, I liked their personality a lot and they cared about me, I viewed them the same way I viewed my family and someone else important to me and I liked their other friend a lot, they even accepted me at first and I ruined it, I liked who they were in a relationship with, he was basically everything I wish I could be and have wished since I was like 9 or 10, but I'm too stupid for any of it. They accepted me at first and I not only ruined it but hurt everyone too, it makes me have a hard time mentally because at least if I didn't manage to hurt everyone I wouldn't hate myself. I hurt my family and one more person I've known all my life too. I lost everyone too. I have nothing at all and I can't get myself to even start rebuilding because of past mistakes and trauma from being bullied or messed with or hurt in general. I'm focusing on studying but sometimes I wonder who I am fooling at all, it goes so slow and I failed at way easier exams, it's very easy to have confidence until you have an exam or a standard you have to meet.

>>33372040
There is 0 chance I can be like others and pursue higher education. So why even bother? And I don't know, I'm trying because there's nothing else to do. I don't want to die because I want to live, I just don't want to live like this and because I don't want to hurt everyone even more. But I feel like I'm delaying the inevitable sometimes. I don't think the friendship is possible to rebuild and I'm sorry you went through that too because losing people you care about hurts me more than anything I've been through too, especially because I managed to cause them pain too. It really hurts worse than being hurt yourself. I started hating myself a lot. I'm sorry for the long posts. I don't even think there is an advice for any of this.

>>33367714
I have learned my lessons through the worst pain I have felt. But the pain is not stopping. And the pain hasn't resolved anything and doesn't make me able to fix anything and actually does the opposite and makes me even less functioning. I definitely won't repeat the same mistakes, I've learned a lot but it feels like I learned all the lessons way too late to ever have a chance for the pain to stop or turn anything around in life. And I wish this was the only issue in my life right now. And I hate the intrusive thoughts of memories that remind me of everything. It makes everything so hard. I feel like just taking my medicine for ocd and depression and not even caring if it makes my performance even worse, and it does based on studies, it gives you some functionality in exchange for ruining your brain until you can't even think.

>>33359718
Don't fucking do this. The mental breakdown was justified one way or the other and there was a reason it came out. They were aware you weren't cool enough for them and when you sperged, it just justified to them, "Why did we even hang with this loser in the first place?"

>>33372181
Op here and that's not true at all. And I already apologized.