Title.
>generally well-liked at work and in personal life
>fairly successful professionally
>garner decent professional and personal respect from people
>decent build (6'3", 250lbs, look strong and get comments about it)
>currently single, but enough relationships and sex partners to have been called "slutty"
>have a pretty good life cut out for myself
>still wind up spending literal hours fixated on people who have been shitty to me throughout my life
>every time I get reminded that certain "trigger people" exist, even if my last interaction with them was okay, start getting blood-boiling pissed
>repetitive, intrusive thoughts about real and hypothetical bad interactions
>sometimes just verbal scenarios (wherein I say wildly inappropriate things about someone that would get me kicked out of a gathering)
>sometimes boils over to violent scenarios (wherein I hurt and "dominate" these people)
>fantasies of beating someone in front of his gf
>fantasies of making a guy beg his girlfriend to beg me to stop ("y-yeah you little bitch, y-your girl had to step in for you! this totally makes me look cool!")
>fantasies of administering wedgies and shoving faces into piles of dog shit
I wouldn't even care, but some of these people have impacted my relationships with people I was friendly with. I've thought about therapy, but personal experience has taught me that few therapists do anything practical for you, and you just pay to talk about feelings. I'd talk to my friends, but I'd look like a faggot for saying any of this shit IRL.
tl;dr: I'm having intrusive thoughts and geeky ideation and I want to stop.

>>33360805 (OP)
I started writing my thoughts down about that stuff. Brain dumping in a notebook. Coming back to the same topics multiple times even. Doing that has helped me to come to a closure on some topics, because I feel that just thinking about the things in my head is ephemeral, even if I will never read the stuff I wrote down. I actively try to exit the negative daydreams... and I've read 'how to stop worrying and start living' by dale carnegie a couple times now.

>>33360805 (OP)
I won't read how to move on threads or numerology threads.