How viable is it to play jazz standards and classical renditions to get pussy and money?

I’m 40 and I’m on track to retire up in New England. What can I expect for playing places like Newburyport, Ogunquit, Portsmouth, ski lodges in NH, and other places that want me to add a touch of class?

>inb4 didn’t you ask about using violin to get pussy in parks
We solved that one but I need the 4chan braintrust to give me the confidence to crush crease up in Sam Hyde territory

>>33362920 (OP)
I mean if you're good then you can make money. Not a bad way to go about retirement.

>>33363163
Thanks for the confirmation.

I just think when I’m 45, I’ll do that to stay social and among people. Lots of people check out at 35, but I figure my kids (soon) would love a dad who can play their favorite tunes while they fetch me a greyhound-double from the bar. Plus, it works as a status thing, where my lady can work the room. Any musicians got ladies out there who do similar?

The thing I’m not sure of what to do about repertoire? I can read and improvise from the Real Book, but I think the high-falutin crowd wants to hear the classical hits (Clair de Lune, Gymnopedie no.1-3, Moonlight Sonata). I’d rather rip “Le barque sur l’ocean” while eating lobster rolls and overlooking the Atlantic
>pic rel

https://youtu.be/bTYUyDjVCRU

>career
>playing standards
Nobody has a career doing this, so why would you?

>>33362920 (OP)
Probably not 5 figures. Unless you're doing performances in real venues, so you need to join a jazz orchestra. Like anywhere else. If you can teach though....

>>33362920 (OP)
I won't read how to get women using whatever magical instrument (no, not even a 12" magic flute).

>>33363642
You ain't wrong, but old man career is just like spending cash on top of investments. I'd probably use it to supplement my streams of income to spend more time with the kiddos. It's not like I'll be Michael Bublé. It's more like being the old guy playing "Diet Pepsi" by Addison Rae or Lana Del Rey tunes. Either that, or fag myself up and play at art galleries In Provincetown.

>>33364001
I used to make $250 for 4 hours of busking on Cape Cod, so 5 figs isn't difficult. When we did it, I'd just play drunk for 3 hours broken into 6 sets. We had a wheel of fortune and played musical saw, it was sick.

Again, I emphasize OLD MAN CAREER.

>>33364147
Thank you for your contribution.

>>33364168
>Again, I emphasize OLD MAN CAREER.
Yeah that's why I say 5 figures might be more difficult. If you focus on networking you could have more opportunities open to you. Also, the saying 'teach if you can't do' shouldn't discourage you, it's a gatekeep. Teaching brings in a lot of moolah.

>>33364192
Eh, I'm too tired to be pedantic, but even $10,000/year is just $200/week. If you can't make that as a performer, may god have mercy on your soul.

If I'm gonna teach, I'd probably do the library circuit and get paid to teach old ladies "Proud Mary" on ukulele at the Seabrook Library (https://sealib.org/events/). This is probably a better goal than playing CBGBs (which I played twenty years ago). Fuck that, old ladies it is..

Another "hidden" gig is rich people nursing homes. I played a luncheon for this crazy rich lady in Ogunquit. It was so bad one of the waitstaff threw a tray of brunch food into the air... and then we got several business cards to play up in Kennebunkport?! O.o

But again, if you play up in Hyannis, young snizz is on tap.

Thoughts, noggers?

>ravel
Hm alright
>Diet Pepsi
Na gay

Fkn 4chan errors
https://youtu.be/n3YFIXdv0i0?si=SxihCpzZl7LI2CUx

>>33364168
Just play at open mic nights

>>33364271
I mean old ladies will probably shell it up for a while so that's not a bad strategy.
$10,000/year is just $200/week.
Yes that is approximately the forecast son, you will need another means of employment.

>>33364604
All the comments are homo but he’s pretty good. I’ll have to incorporate that slap, but on some buttcheeks.

Diet pepsi is not gay. Again, the goal is to entertain, not play Conlon Nancarrow. I’d love to play more esoteric anime themes, but the most I’ll probably get is the Final Fantasy theme or Super Mario Bros. Maybe jazz up babyshark and get a poorly-weaned zoomer to suckle me in the dunes between sets.

>>33364669
Nah, sitting through shitty performers and not getting paid is not my idea of a good time. I feel like you get worse at open mics because of all the second-hand shit you’re forced to endure.

>>33364687
Nigga which part of supplemental income streams did I not say?

Yeah old ladies go for broke and then rock the nursing home until they gracelessly expire. Better than singing show tunes in p-town

>>33362920 (OP)
piano man in the bar of a chain hotel, like in the Billy Joel song

>>33367333
checked but I'll keep an eye on your masonic ass...

Yeah, that's a good template. Billy Joel is a hometown hero from where I'm from, so I'm sure there's some subconscious motivations to hit on a waitress that are practicing politics, or I dunno have some methed-out streamer request some obscure PDF anime. It's less romantic to talk about using an iPad for sheet music as necessary. "Hey guys, gimme a second, I gotta download this guitar tab, but trust me, your panties will drop."

I think he was quoted about his time playing as a working pianist as just throwing around some major7 chords in a cycle of fourths as a reharmonization for obscure jazz tunes - "Oh yeah, I'll do 'When the Boomers Were in Bloom'."

The other idea is to play some public pianos in rich areas. That would probably attract some zoomers who've seen the airport piano videos that are TOTALLY not rehearsed - AMAZING 6 YEAR OLD PLAYS VIVALDI WINTER. It's more about getting fringe benefits, like I've seen some pianists get in places like Amesbury, Massivetwoshits. (pic related). I want fucking free brownies and to rip some weed in the open air while obsequiously praising their liberal politics. "Here's another diverse number from a living saint. That's right, Bruno Mars..." Then I get to invite the baristas who all know my name (cue CHEERS them) back to the hot tub. "Oh yeah, maybe we can do some live painting in my studio. Bring your friends, I've got costumes in your size back in the barn..."

Either that or I can get the homeless to dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8w81AAK7to

You're probably not making "a career" out of playing any instrument if you started that late. Unless you're a singer and the piano is just accompaniment

>>33367938
I've been playing since I'm six, starting on euphonium and trombone (NY All State/All County since 5th or 6th grade).

I already had a touring busking career in 16 countries, but tickling the ivories for that sweet sweet New England cunny is the goal - plus to augment my lifestyle (ie. recording music, affiliate websites, my main gig as a writer, participating in community orchestras).

The trick is to tap into conversatory-adjacent bitches. Like, I'm thinking about moving to North Adams, MA because of its proximity to Mass MoCA (art school pussy is best pu$$y). Then to become the go-to dude for events, but I'd rather not be a "recital accompanist" dude.

I mean, there's opportunity up there:

https://www.ccmusicschool.org/slide-guitar-101/

I could do that shit, easy-peasy with some Fahey/Tacoma/American Primitive stuff. PAY ME

Anyways, the nicotine gum is buzzing...

>>33362920 (OP)
I would imagine you'd have to do more than just play solo gigs to break $10k a year. I've ripped through a few teachers here in NE, and all of them were teaching+performing+doing plenty of other things on the side.

The hardest working musician I worked with was teaching nearly full time between two areas of the state + online lessons. He also had some sort of house musician arrangement at a bar, since he'd play there a few times per week. He was also constantly playing gigs around town solo and with his band. Other odd jobs I'd hear about were corporate events, weddings, churches, etc. Just setting all of this up probably took a ton of his time.

I'd start out as a wedding musician and try to network from there. Teaching is probably going to be a necessity, and you'll likely have to set that up independently if you don't have formal training from a conservatory or college. Hopefully after a while people will recommend you via word of mouth, but that's only if you're good and easy to work with.

>>33369435
>>33369435
Thanks for the tips. Weddings are high-pressure and I’ve seen people get lambasted through no fault of their own. Bridezilla is real. Plus, I’d rather play stuff I at least half enjoy rather Joh Legend or some shit. At you have sex if you’re a prostitute.

My buddy in NYC who plays on broadway supplements his income setting up drums and other equipment around town for other musicians. It’s equivalent to moving art in sprinter vans, but some people like to be around the novelty of that world. Burn out on Broadway is huge because you just play the same set each time. Insanity.

Again: I am here for the tasty pussy and social status one gets from having fun at gigs. Busking was the best, and women would throw themselves at you to take shrooms and streak in the summer rain. Shit was cash.

I run a few passive businesses already and make $100,000 freelance, so I want explore more about royalties for composed music. Writing music is dead simple and I don’t think it will be replaced by AI - it feels too much like the uncanny valley (though I like the “Boom Boom Tel Aviv” song). So having a decent set up (Ableton Live 12.2) to get that sweet cunny is my modus operandi this summer.