We're mid 40s. Kids, suburban life, etc.

Wife cheated back when we were dating. Several guys online, several IRL.
I caught her by spying on her computer, I moved out. Eventually we worked it out and got married.

Fast forward, married with kids. She cheats again, I think. All signs were there. 99% sure but never caugher her in the act.
Asked her, she denied but dropped all contact with the guy and her friends she met him through. I should have pressed but I didn't. Just dropped it and spent my time with kids and friends.

That was 8 years ago. I let it go because friends were going through divorce, I didn't want to lose my money and house etc. We get along better, have fun, regular sex, but we both maintain a certain distance. Not much passion or talk beyond the day to day.

Lately I can't stop thinking about it all.

Is she still cheating?

Never got closure for each time, constantly wonder about details.

Confront her?
Let it go?

She can tell something is off. Tell her I'm just tired and preoccupied with work but can't go on like this forever.

Put it all out there or drop it again and try to move on again?

Have to note.
We barely spoke and only had sex 2-3x for a good 4/5 year stretch.
During that time I hooked up with a coworker one time.
Massive regret. Never told her. No excuse but I'd need to come clean if I'm asking her to.

I don't know what to do but I'm just so hung up on it

Hire a private investigator, they can get evidence of infidelity and they know laws so you won't be punished.

>>33365193 (OP)
You're the kind of people couples counselling was invented for.

>>33365733
Does counselling now fix people being cheaters?

>>33365193 (OP)
Cheater keeps cheating when you let her get away with it? Say it isn't so!

Your fault for having so little self-respect. Get a paternity test for "your" kids.

Amd you're cheating too? What is the point of this relationship? Why did you marry a dumb whore who doesn't give a fuck about you?

Couple of retards.

>>33365193 (OP)
>married with kids
kek
whose

>>33365193 (OP)
>I caught her by spying on her computer, I moved out.
You dodged a bullet back then.
>Eventually we worked it out and got married.
And for some reason you decided to walk back into the bullet's trajectory
>Fast forward, married with kids. She cheats again
And you got shot by the bullet, as expected.

>That was 8 years ago
>Is she still cheating?

You never know. But you do know she is capable. And you know that she was willing. So now you have a life where you have to look over your shoulder emotionally 24/7.

The longer you remain emotionally distant, the stronger her temptation to cheat grows. And you won't want to be emotionally close to her, because she disgusts you because you know she fucked other men.

So now it's a self-fulfilling cycle where she will cheat again and again.

>I hooked up with a coworker.
So you became like your wife. Great.

Your only two options: Divorce or marriage counselling. Pick one.

At this point neither of you are victims. You're both dumbasses and I feel bad for the kids.

>>33365193 (OP)
>Eventually we worked it out
Evidently you didn't.