I need help writing a best man speech. Any chance I can get an opinion on which of these 3 sounds the best? For context my brother (the eldest) hands me the mic so I can get a quick joke in on the groom (the youngest).

'As the better man, I’d just like to say to [the groom], I’m NOT offended that you didn’t pick me to be the best man. I mean, we only shared a room for 20 years. 20 long years of snoring, sleep talking and borderline suffocating. It’s not asthma, it’s severe sleep apnea. What I will miss most of all was being kept awake until 4am every single night, while you played just one more quick game with the boys. I hope winning your games was worth making me lose my sleep.'

'As the better man, I’d just like to say to [the groom], I’m NOT offended that you didn’t pick me to be the best man. I mean we only shared a room for 20 years. 20 long years of snoring, sleep talking, and borderline suffocating. But don’t worry, not every night was like this. There were good nights too. That is, if you consider a good night being kept awake until 4am while he played just one more quick game with the boys. I hope winning your games was worth making me lose my sleep.'

'As the better man, I’d just like to say to [the groom], I’m NOT offended that you didn’t pick me to be the best man. I mean we only shared a room for 20 years. 20 long years of snoring, sleep talking, and borderline suffocating. But don’t worry, not every night was like this. There were good nights too. That is, if you consider a good night being kept awake until 4am while he played just one more quick game with the boys. I just hope winning all those games was worth the chronic insomnia you gifted me.'

Honestly bro, if you insist on sticking to a script like you typed then any of them should be fine. IMO the speech should just come naturally as you reflect on all the fond memories between you and your brother. You should tell him how proud you are of him and how he's come such a long way. It should be really easy because you grew up together. There's nothing wrong with sprinkling some jokes in there but it shouldn't be the main focus. Speak from the heart and don't be afraid to get sentimental. Make it really mean something to your brother and family. Opportunities like this don't come by very often. Good luck, OP.

>>33366484 (OP)
>NOT offended that you didn’t
don't use double negations, you'll lose a lot of people (drunk, not paying enough attention, too stupid, etc.)
keep it simple

>>33366590
not my choice unfortunately. both my brothers want a roast. also i wasn't even supposed to be in the speech initially, but my older brother thought it would be funny to pass the mic to me half way through to surprise our younger brother.

>>33366484 (OP)
>while you played just one more quick game with the boys
It sounds like the boys were in the room too.

You should say at the end "now your new wife should beat some sense into you and avenge my sleepless nights" something to that effect

Here’s what I have so far. One more quick joke then I think my part’s done. Thoughts?

As the better man, I’d just like to say to [the groom], I’m NOT offended that you didn’t pick me to be the best man. I mean, we only shared a room for 20 years. 20 long years of snoring, sleep talking and borderline suffocating. But don’t worry, not every night was like this. There were good nights too. That is, if you consider a good night being kept awake until 4am by pulsating computer lights, while he played just one more quick game with the boys.

That’s just something to look forward to [the bride].

Somehow though, despite all the late nights, he still managed to wake up early every morning, and head to work in IT. A line of work we're so extremely grateful he chose, because if it wasn't for his love of computers, and the occasional internet outage, we might never see him emerge from his room.

>>33370553
this is good