I frequently suffer from nightmares that leave me to start the day in a horrible state of mind and body that sometimes takes hours to deescalate. Rapid heart rate, tenseness all over my body, oftentimes shaking, swirling thoughts, emotions spinning across rage, terror, regret, sorrow, inability to return to a state of rest.
The focus of these dreams is often one or more people I have encountered that hurt me in some way in my life.
I have been betrayed by nearly everyone I've ever cared about. The only ones who hadn't are dead, so seeing them in my dreams isnt exactly comforting either; awakening to the reality without them in it never loses its punch.
I dont know how much longer I can go on like this, haunted by people whose malevolence took their toll on my real life and left it worse by having been in it.
For several years I've been living a life of solitude. For anyone outside looking in I got the peace and quiet I was asking for from all the malevolence and betrayal. But I don't know how to move on from the perpetual state of abject misery I was in when I chose to flee from it-them, everything. My dreams keep me there and I don't know why when I now have the freedom to be at ease and heal

>>33367441 (OP)
I enjoy nightmares pretty much, life if they were good movies. I'm always aware that I cannot be hurt.
You could try relaxing music, playing all night long. Start listening one hour before going to sleep.
https://youtube.com/shorts/lh4JdZTJe7k

good job /adv/. I spill my raw guts and the only suggestion is to listen to relaxing music before bed
Bravo

>>33367441 (OP)
Can you see a professional about it?

have you tried writing them down

>>33368991
Same, I enjoy nightmares, even if they're bad, but they're like a form of escapism from your everyday life. I don't lucid dream though like you, and I feel all the pain, fear and negative emotions occurring in the dream like it was real. But once I wake up, the dream is more fascinating rather than traumatising, and it doesn't bother me.

might not be useful but the only times I had nightmares were when I had spicy food before bed. The capsaicin literally keeps the brain excited while you fall asleep, turns out