I have suicidality that is completely disconnected from circumstances. For instance i notice i want to kms just as much when im happy as sad, it doesnt matter, even like right after completing a goal, i want to die. Even when happy, i want to die. Its this constant burning curiosity. I dont want life. I dont want a body. I need nonexistence. I need death. Its not an emotional thing, its just...I need to die

>>33369941 (OP)
I think you're just posing because for some reason that sounds cool inside your head.

>>33370003
i just dont know what to do i guess, i mean i cant complrehend everyone constantly saying
>NOOOOOO DEATH BAD DYING BAD NON EXISTENCE BAAAAAAD
Why. why? why is it bad? whats wrong with you? this makes no sense

>>33369941 (OP)
You might be talking about something different, but for me, some of the worst depression comes right after happiness or an accomplishment. It's easy to get used to inactivity as a NEET, but when you're hustling at work and making good money and giving talks that launch projects and succeed professionally, and then at the end of all that you still spend your weekends by yourself jacking off, it enhances the want-to-rope factor. Have you ever had a gf?

>>33370016
i never had a gf or friends, no

>>33369941 (OP)
>I have suicidality that is completely disconnected from circumstances
no you don't. to wit: you lack real problems

>>33370617
See, this is what im talking about. Everyone, apparently, needs a reason to kill themselves. Why? I dont need a reason, i just dont like this world and am more excited for my own death then anything else. You dont relate? You like existence? Why? How?

I can relate. For me it's depression that's always there and a lot of times suicidal thinking is part of it. I can't say I've ever felt happy, my mood is just low 24/7. If I get any good news or accomplish some goal it does nothing for me. Like I remember when I got a big promotion at work I didn't feel anything and was just thinking about suicide the entire drive back home

>>33369941 (OP)
So you have a bad habit. Get rid of it, since you realize it doesn't serve you. It is a waste of time, and time is life.

>>33370624
>Everyone, apparently, needs a reason to kill themselves. Why? I dont need a reason, i just dont like this world and am more excited for my own death then anything else
Then that's not suicidality you fucking retard. If you don't have intent +ideation +attempt you're just depressed