I could go on but don't really wanna. Are there any tried and true ways to do it? I feel like it is what all my suffering boils down to. I can't think of anything without thinking of myself relative to it. I can't listen to an enjoy a piano piece without imagining myself playing it to an adoring crowd and I want this to stop because its what I hate about myself more than anything elser
>>33370187 (OP)Competing with other people tends to humble you. It actually takes many years before you'd reach any level that would cause a real ego to form.
The imaginary fantasies you have are much different from actually winning games and becoming a force.
>>33370195I know that I am currently inferior to many of the people around me in many ways but I just tell myself that my potential is higher than theirs and that at the end of the day I will end up above them. I am winning the long game. I just want to care more about others. I am kind and good to people when it's easy but when Im not in a good headspace I don't care about putting on the self image feeding song and dance and I am cold and short and I dont want to be this way forever. I am so selfish and lazy
I'm too lazy to ever do anything selfless. The only time I will ever do anything that requires any effort is when It has some sort of benefit to me like making something think more highly of me or making me think more highly of myself or providing myself pleasure or putting myself in a better position. I do love to see other people be happy as a result of my actions or words or whatever because I am happy that they are happy, but my feelings always just feel tainted and impure somehow. I judge and scrutinize everyone for everything
>>33370223If you want to be selfless, give everything up and become a saint. Otherwise you have to play the game like everyone else. You can't really do both.
