Nobody cares about me or loves me. Prolly my last year alive. The only girl i loved left me becuase i wasnt 100% and what sux is i know i could have kept her if i wasnt a retard. I really fucking loved her so much and now shes gone. I hate myself so much. Am drunk

>>33380195 (OP)
Im so fucking lonely and terribly sad. Im trapped with a family that doesnt know how to love me or even be normal. I feel like i was incarnated into this life strictly to suffer. Even people who have watched me said "Why does God allow this to happen?" Im fucked in every sense, i will never have a normal and happy life and ill die alone. Some people are just born into shit and their life is shit thee end. How does God justify those peoples existence? Esp if they overcame alot and survived hell but still didnt come out on top. What can u even say to these people. Nothing because nobody cares

>>33380195 (OP)
I wish my death had some type of benefit to someone, preferably my ex. I'd be more motivated to neck myself if my ex got some lump sum out of it. I couldnt be the man she needed me to be, but if she got like 10 million from me dying, i'd do it instantly because i love her sm and would do it to make up for being a shitty boyfriend. I could have been so much better to her. She was my sweet angel princess and now shes gone. I never judged her but i got mad at her often and i hate myself for it. Shes just a sweet baby girl and im a fucking loser. My baby. My innocent angel. I would do anything for u, including taking my life to make u rich. I know the world is hard but i would fr take my own life if you benefitted from it. My family can fuck off. You were the only person who was pure and kind to me and if i didnt have an insanely fucked up life i would have had a shot at having a healthy relationship with u. If i go to hell, im going to tell the demons torturing me how wonderfull you were and by me chanting that, it'll be the only type of goodness coming from the absence of God because you were my baby baby sweet angel innocent princess. I dont deserve you but ill watch over you in the spirit world when im gone. Theres nothing you can do or say to make me dissapointed in u, i'll always love you no matter what, nothing will change that i promise.

>>33380234
If you would take your life to make her rich you should consider getting a high paying job and sending her all your paychecks. It would be much less hard and much more meaningful than suicide

>>33380262
I already put in work, but it was stolen. I influenced big name artists & their cover albums. Its almost unbelievable, but i made it happen. If i did recieve proper compensation, we would be living together. Im the only genuine slave in America . . just my luck

>>33380234
>>33380234
>>33380234
In a fair world i would be a billionaire from the influence i had over the world, and i'd be able to take care of you and protect you from everything harmful & bad. My sweet lover. I'd do anything for you. I'd absorb all the evil in the world so you could be free to express your child-like joy. Im so sorry if i hurt you my baby. I didnt realize what i had. Please dont worry abt me or put in any type of concern over me, im nothing but u are everything to me. Theres nothing i wouldnt do for u. I'd do anything, truly. Im so sorry i wasnt able to set myself up to take care of you. They stole from me, they stole from us and theres nothing i can do about it. We would have been living like Kings & Queens & you would have had all the power in the world. My sweet kitty princess you would have had anything you wanted and i fucking failed myself & indirectly failed u. I had planned a whole life around being with you and taking care of you. My notes list is long, but i couldnt make it happen. Idk if the universe will repay me, but if it does ima change everything about me thats bad and pursue you will everything i got left. I love you so so so so so so much. THANK YOU for being with me. You taught me true love. You reminded me that innocence still exists. My sweet baby pumpkin cakes. Your the best thing in the world in my eyes. If God doesnt come thru for me, i hope you can find someone to take care of you. I really mean that. I genuinely want to see you happy and smiling, with that heart-stopping smile of yours. I could go on forever. I forgive u for everything. You can blame it all on me, its okay.

>>33380270
My girl is so attractive. I dont understand how God can make a woman, the attractive & hot gender, so fucking fine & sexy. It blows my mind how good looking she is. She can do w/e she wants & i'd still lover her to death