I haven't really found a way to identify myself with any of those...strictly chronically online terms, but I have a feeling there must be a term for me somewhere! I'm not exactly the type of a girl you'd need or want in your life. I'm a crazy shut-in, who spends her days on doomscrolling social media to chase some clout or find reasons to be even more pathetic and depressed, especially when the content is connected to appearance or mental health struggles, which I have many obviously.. Can't say I look good either way. My face could score a few times, but it's definitely not the standard. I don't wear makeup so all my features remain the same, no matter the occasion. My small eyes, with my eyelids closed halfway at all times, a long a little rounded nose, thin dry lips, noticeable chin and moles. My skin is dry, since I don't have the energy and time to moisturize it, not even enough time to do a makeup routine. My body isn't the thickest, but it's plump and I'm a little overweight, closer to 80kg than to 70kg, but I'm tall so it balances things out. Short, bitten nails, occasional scratches all over my back and my shoulders due to the lack of hygiene I've been participating in for years. I'm afraid to enter the shower cabin without imagining it's a living hell, with the water falling down my back, in my imagination it would become blood, the same that I would bleed when I found a way to punish myself with a piece of glass in secret. The only reason I can't continue with it is that I got caught in the worst possible way and I haven't moved out yet. I'm planning on going to University, where I'm going to tell myself to "suck it up and keep going" with my life, cause I'm too much of a coward and social outcast to ask someone to shoot me in the face or organize a planned shooting to specifically target me in the back of my head. For the time being I'm just a NEET who tries to make another fake personality on TikTok to post sloppy, artistic commentary. What can I do? :D

>>33380326 (OP)
I'm fit, 180cm tall and i still weigh less than you, which is hilarious. Avoid consumerist hobbies and do something productive, be it sportsmanlike or just creative. Other than that, have a realistic outlook on the world, University is useful only if it will help you a lot afterwards, so your majors should be something industry-based, avoid anything in finance, also avoid natural sciences if you're not planning on teaching them (i myself loved biology but had to forgo it becuase i'd earn nothing if i studied it, so i went for engineering with plans to fulfil my interest later in life. The other thing i meant by having a realistic outlook on life is that assuming you're female (which you're probably not), there will always be a dude who finds you attractive, since the social stigma nowadays leaves them hopeless and it's up to you to just pick them.
Women (ciswomen) expire at 40, so enjoy the world while you still can, but don't engage in degenerate behaviour because it'll ruin your life by leaving you lustful, unmarried and childless.
Tldr; Assuming you're a real woman, you have to do nothing except go outside and see the world, any other productive things are just a bonus.

>>33380326 (OP)
If you aren't 6 feet or taller then you are fat.

>>33380326 (OP)
delete social media
start doing some sports, cardio
fix your eating habits, you can find lots of healthy recipes online
try to look at the shower incident objectively
and probably also talk to a mental health professional

I think I could and I should also apply this advice myself.

>>33380326 (OP)
lose weight, all of your other problems are irrelevant if you're that fat

>>33380326 (OP)
>I'm afraid to enter the shower cabin without imagining it's a living hell, with the water falling down my back, in my imagination it would become blood, the same that I would bleed when I found a way to punish myself with a piece of glass in secret
Why are you afraid of taking a shower? Its not scary or anything. You can adjust the water temperature to your liking if its too hot or cold :p
>What can I do? :D
Hmmm
If you won't consider therapy then going by your thread name I would suggest maybe try learning how to moisturize first before you start playing with makeup. Your dry skin seems to bother you and it really isn't that difficult either. Like maybe 1 minute if you want to keep it minimal. Pretty much any cream works and some even come with scents so you can smell good too :)
As for other girly stuff, you mentioned you're on tiktok. Why not try looking up some videos related to a hobby that might interest you?

>>33380326 (OP)
I'm won't read a wall of text, unsolicited blog on an advice board.