A few months ago, I slept with an escort and from that moment on, I’ve been beating myself, knowing the stigma behind it - I’m clean but since that happened, I see myself as a monster. I wasn’t a virgin when it happened, I’ve been in relationships before, but it was a very dry couple of years and it was a moment of weakness. I’m trying to cope with this fact, but then I realized how much of a dealbreaker it is when it comes to dating and it’s almost liked something irredeemable, I’ve reached a dead end should I start dating again. The only good takeaway from this is that it completely made me hate the concept of sex outside of emotional attachment and I’m glad it didn’t kick off some kind of addiction, which some have, as I’ve been reading on some people’s stories. You can’t undo things in life, so it’s something you have to live with somehow.

>>33381250 (OP)
OP rn

>>33381250 (OP)
So, to summarise - you made a mistake and learned a valuable lesson?

Don't beat yourself up anon. It serves no useful purpose.

>>33381316
It’s literally the only major mistake that I’ve made in my life, so maybe that’s why I’m so fixated on it. I’ve always been very conscious of not doing stupid shit till that moment, it didn’t hurt anyone, but myself. I am only worried about the social stigma surrounding it, I don’t want to lie about my experiences, so I’m going to tank all of my future relationships if that ever comes to discussion.

>>33381250 (OP)
>I did what one third of all men do at some point in their life, i'm a monster
You're a Monster-drinking boomer maybe.

I've been on the fence for seeing escorts or getting a bodyrub as a virgin. I was eager on the idea, and my psychologist even told me to go try it. I'm only concerned of Herpes, but it sure as fuck shouldn't be that big of a deal. I guess I should be in the right state of mind to see one, plainly relaxed and looking for pleasure in order to not associate the experience with any regrets.

Last night I masturbated for a couple of hours as usual, twice as I considered safe. After cumming I got a spasm on my pelvic muscles, sort of like a hard-flaccid and it's been a pain to pee and do anything really, it worried me such spasm would end up giving me ED at some point if not already. Having ED would be much worse for a dating prospect than seeing escorts you know.

Go to a bar, talk to a woman if you're used to do it. Tell her you had sex with an escort and you've been pelting yourself over it. I bet you any money she's gonna be compassionate about it. If she isn't go talk to another, you will find at least one that is. People make mistakes, you made a choice. The only mistake you've done is seeing that experience as an endpoint. It's really just another page in your life.

>>33381396
>Go to a bar, talk to a woman if you're used to do it. Tell her you had sex with an escort and you've been pelting yourself over it. I bet you any money she's gonna be compassionate about it

Wtf is wrong with you? How many brain cells do you have left? OP absolutely do not do this.

>>33381405
I won’t, I am only worried that it’ll haunt me for years till it drives me to kick the bucket.

>>33381379
I understand your pain anon. I've not been with an escort, but if I had I think I'd feel very much like you do now.

Try to recognise that this doesn't make you a bad person. It was consensual, it was during a very long dry spell and you've learned what matters to you most. You could even say that it's strengthened your convictions, no? A moment of weakness. You're human.

I don't know if it will help, but from the Christian perspective (I'm an atheist), there is nothing you can do to earn or disqualify oneself from receiving God's Grace. It is freely given. Be humble, accept your mistake, and try to live well regardless. It's all you can do.

>>33381405
OP is a "Monster" already. What are you trying to save? The escort is the only thing he has in his mind now, do you think he genuinely is in the position to look for a partner while carrying that shit?

Fucking let go of that thing. Go to someone and tell them "I have a confession to make. I fucked an escort, I'm a monster". Worst case scenario: They leave. Best case scenario: They find it funny and ask details. If you're in the bottom of the barrel already, why are you looking out for the worst case if you're living it?

everyone in this thread is genuinely crazy. no one can tell you've been with an escort, and also, to quote timothy price: who-gives-a-rat's-ass?

just count it as another body, it's the same sex as anything else. you already had experience so it literally doesn't matter. you think a girl you're getting serious with wants to hear about every fuck you've had? go outside and fuck another escort you retard

>>33381438
This basically

Your next gf has probably been mouth fucked by another guy. Do you wanna hear about it? No. She didn't wanna hear about this either. So you're an eye for an eye

Sadly the modern world is just shit. Nothing matters so fuck it. Try to cope however you can

>>33381448
Jesus christ. Its shit like this that is festering inside of me that is complete fucking garbage
No. Not every woman on planet earth is a whole with a million body count. No you dont have to settle for someone whose been fucked a million times. Have fucking standards. They do exist. I have slept with a virgin female before. Granted I was ten years younger but still.

This over pornification and cuck culture is extremely fucking toxic. I'm fucking done with it. Trad only from here on out

>>33381438
>>33381448
I’m over-thinking it, I don’t think I ever will bring it up. Most of the people I’ve trusted didn’t feel like I betrayed myself or did something inherently wrong, but then again, it’s “normal” here unlike someplace like the US.

>>33381496
You're a fucking loser. Why? Because you make your choice of Lifestyle and can't live with the consequences.

If you want a trad wife, Of course you will have a hard fucking time looking for one. Women like sex and get it easy, this is the card you're dealt. You're not a virgin yourself. You decided you had enough and saw a girl. This is the card that you're dealt. Now you are trying to play ripping the cards you were dealt and crying about getting kicked out of the game.

The only moves you have are
>Accept the fact that women fuck guys for fun, and learn to enjoy it
>Accept the fact that nobody gives a fuck about you visiting whores, and learn to enjoy it.

>>33381250 (OP)
Look, you shouldn't do it again, for the simple reason that you didn't enjoy it the first time. But, unless the woman was trafficked (which is far less common than people think) this was an act of consensual sex. Yes, you probably shouldn't go bragging about it to future girlfriends - women generally feel about hookers the way union workers feel about scab labour - but otherwise there's no reason to beat yourself up about it. You did something you didn't enjoy; you won't do it again. That's it.

>>33381250 (OP)
I won't read oh get the fuck over yourself OP threads.