How do I stop being a narcissist? I have a kind and pretty gf who cares about me a lot but I constantly have to fight thoughts like "I'm better than her and can get better" but I'll just think the same thing with the next "better" girl and it's like I'm permentantly procrastinating my life because I think no situation is good enough for me to commit to

Do I just have to suffer enough to desire committing over continuing to be a narcissist or is there a less painful way?

>>33382305 (OP)
Not sure if this qualifies as narcissism. The word gets thrown around so much. Anyway I think it's less about the quality of the girls, more about your perception on relationships maybe. If you are someone who by default sees relationship as a huge sacrifice and you expect to overly-devote your life energy into them as if it's the center of the universe, then yeah, you'll develop a mindset where you wanna look for that perfect girl/relationship to justify such a steep investment. Thing is perfection doesn't exist in life and whatever is close to it always diminishes, fades, grows old, changes.

So maybe if you recalibrated your perception of relationships where they are something to have to compliment your life rather than define it, then maybe the internal pressure to worry about finding Miss. Perfect will leave your mind alone?

>>33382305 (OP)
Start by deleting ass pics from your gallery.

>>33382384
If I'm hearing you right, you're saying to stop taking relationships so seriously and feel like they're the end-all-be-all of our lives and this will reduce my fear of not ending up in the perfect one? if so I like the sound of that a lot, but sheesh, everyone around me, ESPECIALLY the girls, take the relationship and potential family very, very seriously. If I want to have sex with a girl, I better marry her, and if I marry her, I better have kids with her, and if I have kids with her, I better do everything within my power to ensure they have the greatest lives I can possibly provide, and if I don't do any of these things I'm a loser, a bum, a deadbeat, wasting her time, a failure, an awful husband/dad etc etc. I want to consider my relationships and family a compliment to my life rather than the entire point of everything I do, but literally everyone and everything tells me I shouldn't exist unless I dedicate to marriage and family

>>33382435
>If I'm hearing you right, you're saying to stop taking relationships so seriously and feel like they're the end-all-be-all of our lives and this will reduce my fear of not ending up in the perfect one?
Yep more or less, that's what I'm saying. Especially because they don't exist. Because perfect people don't exist. The relationship bond doesn't magically make the man or woman perfect either.

>everyone around me, ESPECIALLY the girls, take the relationship and potential family very, very seriously. If I want to have sex with a girl, I better marry her, and if I marry her, I better have kids with her, and if I have kids with her, I better do everything within my power to ensure they have the greatest lives I can possibly provide, and if I don't do any of these things I'm a loser, a bum, a deadbeat, wasting her time, a failure, an awful husband/dad etc etc.

Now you know where you learned it from, how you got programmed and influenced. Those people around you are who instilled that into you. What you do with that information is up to you. I would recommend putting up boundaries and emotional distance, deal with those types of people less.

Those people are called 'codependents'. They suffer from a deep emotional issue. They cannot function without a relationship handing them a blueprint on how to live. They have a distinct all-or-nothing mindset; either you do ALL of this or you are NONE of that etc. It qualifies as delusion.

Truth is you can have a relationship and retain individuality too. You can get married at whatever pace you like, or not at all, you could have the same GF for 50 years if you wanted without kids or marriage. Or maybe you can get married but choose no kids. Or have kids and choose no marriage. Whatever ya want.

But you won't ever know truly what it is you want the longer you allow other people to set those rules for you.