>>33382328 (OP)Lying is learned usually as a defense mechanism. When it gets out of hand, it becomes an offense mechanism. But you probably will still feel it comes from a defensive place. Rest of the world sees it as offensive.
Pathological liars typically had to learn how to lie efficiently and frequently to survive some low-control environment in upbringing. Means some harsh shit outside of their control was threatening them or hurting them, emotionally or mentally or physically or sexually or all at once or some at once. Basically some real mean parents or family members or peers put you into a position where lying got them off your back or placated them, gave you some way to control the threat temporarily.
The more you are around those situations the more you lie to protect yourself. The easier it becomes to lie, sooner or later you become numb to it, no more fucked feelings for lying, it just becomes as normal and as mundane as the word "hello".
So you meet people out there in the big wide world, new friends or relationships or employers, people who are not the same people who fucked you over. You know you got no reason to lie to them. But that doesn't matter. Because the minute you feel any pressure or trigger from social anxiety or social confrontation or social pressure, your inner core that was coded by upbringing kicks in like an autopilot response; you lie to them.
Worried they might find you boring for being from Canada? You lie you are from Russia. Then the worry stops, temporarily. Just like how lying got past abusers or people who traumatized you to stop, temporarily.
>What do I do?Spend good time identifying trustable people. People you know that
1) you ain't lied to, at least not much
2) are not toxic people, not immature or have anger issues
Then you tell them the truth. Same as you told us the truth anonymously. That you are a pathological liar and need help. You need to learn to risk being honest again. Letting yourself be scared.
