How do I want MORE? I struggle with desire. I lack ambition though I'd say I want to do and be better and have standards I want to reach. But when people ask me what I want, I don't know, despite being a very opiniated person. I just say what people expect, a family, kids, etc. I wonder how it's so straight forward and decided for so many other people. I thought it was drugs holding me back, but I've been sober for years. I thought it was my looks or self-confidence, then I fixed those to my liking. I've hit a rock bottom and lost everything and had to restart, too, and yet that didn't put a fire in me.

The only thing that I can say motivates me is to not disappoint my family, and a little is competing with peers (somewhat). I guess having sex with hot girls too. I try to use stress but it's not sustainable. Otherwise, I feel like I just exist and don't get how other people cope with it so well.

You just need that sort of spunk

>>33383346 (OP)
I won't read made-up silliness threads.

Stress can be sustainable if you approach it from "I'll still be living this type of life in 10 years and am I okay with that", and if you are, what's the incentive for you to actually have ambition?

>>33383346 (OP)
You know Buddhism teaches that desire is the root of suffering

>>33383555
Elaborate? What I'm getting at is this is my dysfunction and it it's debilitating. I guess my goal is to travel since that at least makes me feel alive. Otherwise I am satisfied by simple things and most other things stress me out with no feeling of accomplishment or reward that I assume others get.
>>33384414
I wish but stress takes its toll on you. My only desire for success is to avoid shame. I don't get any feeling or self-worth from success (though I guess I'm not exactly anything besides a normie) but I convince myself I don't need things others want. I don't need much beyond basics since that's how my family raised us. I used to think it was a blessing, like I was detached from earthly desires, but now I'm realizing it's isolating and making it hard to connect with others. I guess I should just really get into a hobby that's consumer friendly.