Title. My life has gone completely to shit in the past few years. I developed severe OCD, my bipolar disorder got worse, my only girlfriend I ever had cheated on me and left me, I’ve had zero luck with any other girl, I have no friends, the ONE date I finally got went nowhere and she lost all interest in me after seeing me in person (despite being super into me over text), etc.

I’m so exhausted from the constant loneliness, intrusive thoughts, mood swings, compulsive rituals, etc and I just want it all to end. I’m not trying to trauma dump but I have nobody to talk to. I take like 5 antidepressant/anti psychotic pills every day and it dosent really help.

I’ve completely given up on working towards my future. I started smoking and drinking again, I’m about to quit my job by stop showing up completely, and I’m debating just dropping out of school. I bought a bottle of sodium nitrite that supposedly makes your death relatively quick and painless besides throwing up, but I’m deathly afraid, but I know it’s my only option.

What do I do? How do I grow the balls to just finish it?

>>33384650 (OP)
Good.
You should be scared. There is nothing good that can come from you hurting yourself.
You got frens here. Stay safe.

>>33384650 (OP)
is your girlfriend single?

>>33384698
Idk man, I rather can’t see myself living my entire life like this. I’m 26 and I already feel completely worn out. I absolutely cannot live like this for another 60 years. There’s no point in living a life you’re miserable in. I legitimately feel myself going insane from all the stress I’m under.

>>33384650 (OP)
Every time Ive wanted to give up and kill myself, I decided it was cringe and gay and just pushed through it. Something better and unexpected was always on the other side. It just takes many a painful and slow night to get there. Death will always be there. Life wont.

>>33384776
I see shit every day. I joke about the bums who seem to make there lives around here everyone elses problem while they are living there best life.
It's a joke but there is a lot of truth in it. You can live a really shitty life and be somewhat ok... It's all mentality.

>>33384776
You're only 26, anon. This too will pass. Do you cry like this when it rains? The sun will come out, but you have to keep yourself dry for now. Work on yourself and your mental health first. That's an immediate problem, not one that will be fixed by other things. Work on that for a year or so before thinking about anything else. It's not normal to want to kill yourself when you have many more ways out. Suicide is not a solution to any problem you have.

>>33384861
perhaps O.P.s issue is that they haven't yet realized that existence is pain and everyone alive goes through it

>>33384650 (OP)
Yes

Like Nike says

JUST DO IT