>>33384965 (OP)If this is an actual urge you have and not just a passing thought, you should get help. Or just generally , if you feel like doing this and and aren't completely disgusted with this thought, you should get help. Talk to a therapist, figure yourself out, prevent this situation. I feel bad for the poor kid and also for your wife. I hope you won't actually do anything to them. I also feel bad for you. I'm not sure why you might want to do something like this, but it will ruin your life, and the lives of your and her loved ones. Let this kid have a future. Let your wife have a future. Let yourself have a future. You don't want to spend the rest of your life running away or in a box. Please get help.