My grandmother passed away this February, and at that time, I didn’t know what or how to feel until I visited her. That’s when I started crying. It took a few days for the reality of what happened to truly hit me.

Then just yesterday, my grandfather passed away (both on my father's side), and again, I didn’t know what or how to feel. I just knew it would take some time to fully sink in. My girlfriend always reassures me that she’ll be there for me, and I really appreciate that. She said something about how my grandfather and grandmother were soulmates because he followed her after her death. It kind of icked me out because, at that moment, I didn’t want to talk about my grandfather’s death. I just wanted to avoid the topic entirely. But I never told her that I didn’t want to talk about it.

Then today, she mentioned the soulmate thing again, and it irritated me, though I didn’t want to show it. I ended up showing a bit of attitude, and after that, I started opening up to her because it started to hit me and I noticed she became distant and quiet. I asked if she was mad, and she said no, but admitted she was upset that I didn’t tell her I didn’t want to talk about it since yesterday.

Any advice or thoughts? i just want to hear opinions from others right now bc i cant think properly

>>33385135 (OP)
You're going to have to talk this one out with your gf. If you have trouble expressing feelings, I recommend writing down your thoughts ahead of time to organize them

>>33385135 (OP)
There are no rules about grief, no "ought to." WHATEVER your heart leads you to feel (and that includes "nothing") is right for you.

And in the same way, if thinking about soulmates helped her get through the pain, it is really not your place to criticize her.

>>33385135 (OP)
There's no right or good way to get through grief: you have to find what works for you. It's reasonable to feel angry; however, it is not reasonable to take out your anger on someone else. So you need to apologise, profusely and unreservedly, to your girlfriend. Don't try to justify or excuse your behaviour; just say you were wrong, you're sorry, and you will try to do better.