Should I stop solving my crushes lives? - /adv/ (#33392368) [Archived: 240 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:31:18 PM No.33392368
yaaaypartywoohoo
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So I (27M) am an unassuming, closeted fag, and don't care about coming out because no man's ever been interested in me that way and I don't think I'm worth dating. My excuse is that I don't have time for love.

What I do when I've got a crush (Which is really often) is help with anything they want or need so I'll get them away from me.

So far I've:
Helped four guys get a gf. (I'm a really good wingman.)
Completely restored a guy's inherited broken Harley.
Packed drove and unpacked a guy's move halfway across the country while he was on vacation.
Taken up hiking because a guy didn't wanna do it alone.
Bought them expensive shit related to their hobbies or interests, everything from anime figures to weird antiques.

(And much more.)

Right when I think I've helped enough so they'll do well on their own I act as if I'm always super busy and can't possibly make time to see them.

Anyway, so eight months ago, the one I loved most (bike dude) called to invite me to his wedding as the best man, I declined because of my schedule but said I'd go as a guest. (Couldn't say no because the bride is my friend). He was really bummed out but agreed.

Their wedding was last month, and I couldn't bear to see them kiss at the altar, so I was silently crying (and fake smiling) throughout the whole ceremony. Pretended to have an emergency to attend to and left as fast as possible, sent an apology text to both of them omw home.

Ever since I just can't stop wondering if this fairy godmother shit I'm doing for them is harming my mental health. I've been buying plates from goodwill and breakin them when I feel sad or angry but that doesn't fill the void and I'll work/game the pain away as best I can.
Replies: >>33392464
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:51:12 PM No.33392464
>>33392368 (OP)
>Ever since I just can't stop wondering if this fairy godmother shit I'm doing for them is harming my mental health
It obviously is. You're literally sacrificing your own sanity and happiness for others. As much as this may sound like an empty platitude, it's a very true statement that is relevant to you: Find a way to love and respect yourself. It doesn't have to be all at once, but find things about yourself you're proud of and that you admire and build off of that.
Replies: >>33392649 >>33393090
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:32:02 PM No.33392649
>>33392464
>You're literally sacrificing your own sanity and happiness for others
Would you jump in front of a train to save the lives of 10 people?
Replies: >>33392658 >>33393078
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:32:39 PM No.33392658
>>33392649
Fuck no
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:10:33 AM No.33393078
>>33392649
I would.
Replies: >>33393096
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:13:18 AM No.33393090
>>33392464
Thank you, I guess it's time for me to be my own lover. And the things I did to make others happy are just a small display of what I can do when I'm in love, I could do them again and so much more for myself
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:15:27 AM No.33393096
>>33393078
cuck