22 years old. I was dating this girl, lets call her Jane, for a year. We had an amazing relationship. We were each others first love. We broke up because she simply didn’t want me anymore.
Naturally, I was devasated. Spent about a month being a sobbing mess, depressed and in hell. Until I met another girl. Let’s call her Mary. I thought she was cute and bascially love bombed her trying to fill the void from my ex. We made it official after a month. I never stopped thinking of Jane.
Here’s the kicker. Mary treated me better than Jane ever had. She was wealthy, always kind, understanding, caring, and a trad God fearing believer. Jane, on the other hand, was impoverished, lazy, annoying, and standoffish, and a lukewarm Christian.
For some reason I self sabatoged my relationship with Mary. I found anything to be annoyed by her by. Anything to see her as lesser than Jane when she was objectively better than her in every way, including looks!
Like a fucking moron: I broke up with Mary. Made up some bullshit about how she was too high maintainence and I wasn’t ready to be official.
Mary was hurt. She blocked me. I haven’t heard from her since. But finally I realize how wrong I did her and I don’t want to get back with her but I’d do anything to simply apologize. I know I hurt her so badly because I was selfish and hung up on a relationship that was dead. I feel like an idiot. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a girl like that again. I feel like I threw away a winning lottery ticket. Fuck.

>>33392821 (OP)
Quite honestly, anon, you need to feel guilty about this, and you need to carry on feeling guilty about it for the rest of your natural life; because as soon as you stop feeling guilty, you'll do it again. Guilt is what will keep you straight.