I know I'm going to sound very arrogant, but does anybody else feel like they have a tendency to gimp or self-sabotage themselves because they're afraid that their excellence will make others look bad? I don't want to step on people's toes or give off the impression that they're bad at their job or whatever, but it feels like I do this so much that I'm depriving myself of my full potential. I usually don't correct people either, even when I know they are operating on false information. I actually go along with it instead and ready myself for when it falls through so I can resolve it and move on. I've never been a leader or a role model to anyone and frankly, I'm afraid of that kind of responsibility, even though I'm highly aware and dissatisfied by the lack of respect I receive from others. If I actually stood up to the plate and took charge, I think I could actually do good and it would resolve this internal conflict, but I'm just not wired in that way to lead people, I'm much more conditioned to following, even if I know I'm being led by poor or misguided judgement.
Obviously, part of this stems from fear of responsibility and having to take accountability when everything falls on me, but I think a big reason for the self-sabotage or intentional downplaying of my abilities is a lingering thought that I'd be stealing opportunity from someone else and that it's wrong to impose on others so as to imply I'm better than anyone else. Going back to the leader vs. follower idea, which I think about a lot because I think everyone falls into one of these and it dictates their behavior within a group/team and even society, I've been wondering if maybe what's good for me can also be a net good for everyone else. I know I can't expect people to give me that trust right from the start, but still. This worldview probably seems naive, but I just want to achieve greatness without worrying about hurting others or leaving them worse off in some way.

>>33395067 (OP)
My experience on this is that you just have to get good at reading the room and picking your battles. I do not make an active attempt at appearing smart, yet some people get intimitated in conversation with me. Sometimes they explicitly verbalize it, other times I can see it in their eyes when I get carried away talking about some topic I'm passionate about. You just gotta make a choice whether or not the person you're currently engaging with is worth keeping the peace with.

There's a guy I know. Huge asshole, maybe the single most unlikable person I've ever met. Anyway, he is very insecure, blatantly physically uncomfortable, about me being competent at music. If I just play a guitar riff in front of him, he looks as if he's on the verge of something between a crying fit and a panic attack. Now, I don't like this guy one bit, so I am not going to dumb myself down for him to spare his feelings. He's simply not worth it.

But then there is this female co-worker I have. She is such a fun, lively person, and we have great chemistry. Many laughs to be had. She almost feels like the older sister I never had. Here's the kicker though, she is 100% tapped into the normie CNN worldview. Occassionally she will bring up some basic bitch political talking point. Recently she complained during the lunch break about wage gap. Internally, I wanted to speak up, but I held my tongue, because for one, this is not a good thing to discuss around the table with co-workers, and two, I really like her a lot, so keeping the peace felt worth it, even though I needed to finish the argument internally when I showered that evening, just to get it out of my system.

Choose your battles, and only dumb yourself down for people who are worth it.

>>33395067 (OP)
Constantly. "Harrison Bergeron" is my middle name and I'm constantly hounded by the Department of Equality. I come on this board to let my superhumanness come out to play.