Hello, I have a bad feeling about my relationship. Worst case if we do break up, how can I cope without having a mental breakdown? This is my first relationship, 2 years, I'm 28.

your mind is playing tricks on you go on a date express your feeling this information comes from someone who never had a realitionship with anyone good lcuk tho ^_^ b

go fuck yorusself you lucky fucker i hope she breaks your heart and your mind you fucking ass

>>33402694 (OP)
>Literally me
I had my first relationsip start when I was 26 and it ended 3 years later. I advise you that if theres no abuse or cheating, or almost cheating, you really should try as hard as possible to work on it. Dont get angry at each other. If the relationship does end, there is no cope. Its just raw pain for months on end. What I would recommend is getting into the gym and thinking about what next challenge you want to accomplish in your life. After a bad heartbreak your choices are to become a superhero or fall into the void. I dont think there is a middle path for men. I think it took like 3 months to somewhat get better, 6 months for occasional panics to go away, and then 8-10 months to pretty much go back to normal. Except even about 13 months later I am mostly over it Im still pissed off about the whole thing and think it was stupid and miss the good times. I honestly doubt she thinks much about me lol. But in summation
1. go no contact forever (yes forever, like as if she died)
2. go to the gym
3. hang out with your friends
4. be sad and alone, maybe get some temporary female comfort if thats your thing. Either online or actually fucking.
5. Get in the gym
6. Take some time to recuperate, youre going to be a mess internally for a while. But think about something hard and challenging youve always wanted to do. And after a few months when youre feeling better about yourself go out and do that thing.

>>33402710
>I advise you that if theres no abuse or cheating, or almost cheating, you really should try as hard as possible to work on it.
Can I do this after a relationship has ended, especially if it's a recent one? Literally nothing was wrong in the relationship, she was just having personal issues and didn't have the time or mental energy for a relationship

>>33402800
Yea I think there is one last bullet you can fire after its ended. Make it count, dont make it an emotional pathetic mess either. Be honest about yourself and what you think can be improved on. If the one last plea doesn't work, its time to move on. Shes extremely unlikely to change her mind. And if she does months down the road, its pretty much better to ignore it or shut down the offer. But you should basically accept that its over and that youll never have the old good times again. The original magic is gone, the contract is broken, its over.

But yes, if it is within two weeks of breaking up, I think one last message is fine. But that's pretty much it. Go into it expecting that it likely is not going to work. And not to rub salt into your wound, I am only saying this from my own experience, if a lady has left you its likely she already has someone in the orbit in mind. Its just what it is unfortunately. Its better to accept it than mald about it.

>>33402896
>if a lady has left you its likely she already has someone in the orbit in mind
Maybe, but I trust her word that it was solely to work on her mental health. She became extremely depressed and started talking about cutting herself, so I hope she's okay. She said that she "won't be going anywhere" so I feel like that was a subtle hint that she, at the very least, wants to stay in contact/be friends. We dated for 4 years and we only ever spent time with each other if we weren't alone, so it's a big loss for both of us on a romantic and friendship level. I might give her a little more time before I make a move but I'm gonna start slow just so she doesn't get overwhelmed with a relationship + everything that's going on in her life. It's a shame, she's a lovely woman and we've known each other since we were 12 years old. We're 25 now

>>33402930
The thing I basically came to understand is that there is no reason for a breakup other than that someone does not want to be with you anymore. You can work on mental health in a relationship. You can work on anything in a relationship. You can go to rehab, go to the military, get a different degree, go on a year long retreat into the wilderness. You can do all of those things in a relationship. The relationship ends because someone would prefer to not be with you anymore and think they would be better off without you. There is no other reason for breaking up. Its all just extra stuff men & women use to justify the blow to the other partner. Im not saying she has another guy or anything, she might but yea maybe she doesnt. But the fact is that she doesnt want to be with you anymore and thinks she will be happier with someone else in the future. For example if you love someone and want to continue being in a relationship with them but you need time to work on yourself you would say "hey I am going through a lot right now and I need some more time to myself but we're still in a relationship and Im still committed to you". That is what someone would say who is working on themselves and actually wanting to be with you. But breaking up is just the implication of no longer wanting commitment

>>33402997
I don't necessarily disagree with you but the way she worded it, it seemed like she was just assuming that I'd hate her or not want to be with her while she's going through all of this stuff. She said that she won't be going anywhere but also to not wait for her and try to find someone else. I really love her tho, it's hard to move on or to really think of another woman when she was so lovely and we had a lot going for us, had a lot in common, and things were just going so well. I'd rather have her hate my guts but she seemingly doesn't. I really don't want anyone else

>>33403063
I would just tell her this and if it isnt met with the enthusiasm you deserve, its time to start moving on.

>>33403137
How should I say it over text? I’m really autistic and I don’t want to mess this up

>>33403193
There are youtube videos on this topic. Also you could ask chatgpt to help brainstorm, dont copy paste from it.

>>33402997
different anon but same boat here. this is very difficult to accept without feeling sad. gym is good advice.

I’m in the same spot, I’m 28 and my relationship lasted 2 years, but it was LDR. Like other anon said, if they wanted the relationship to work they will not leave you or be afraid to loss you. Accept that it is over, the sooner you hit the gym and come to terms that it happened the better. I was clinging to hope for 3 months for reconciliation and started to spiral hard. She couldn’t be in a relationship due to her mental state and family member that was very sick, for her it was not possible to relocate. Was trying to convince her during our last call, but she already made up her mind. I wished her well and said goodbye, she even said that she loved me. After a few months she started liking instagram reels containing romantic and date ideas, which makes me believe she found another relationship. My point being is she probably will find another person, woman usually do. So don’t stalk and accept it will never work out between you two. Learn from your mistakes and hers so you can see the red flags in the next relationship. There is no “the one”, nobody is that special. I’m feeling better now, but it will take time to get normal again.