I just want to be smart.

No matter how much I read or study, my comprehension is minimal. I don't even know what smart looks like. I want to do math and programming (and that is what I'm doing) but it feels like a fashion statement.

How do you know if you're stupid?
Is there is such.a thing as being smart? The only people that seem smart to me are literal geniuses. Einstein, Feynman, Pascal. That's literally unachievable no matter how much I study. And even if I continue on my current path, the best I'll be able to do is maybe a 3D graphics engine in like 20 years.

Why would I even want to be smart? What's in it for me? You just end up very boring. But it has to be more satisfying than watching TV, or scrolling through reddit/4chan.

Is wanting to be smart a mistake? The only thing I can think of to do with my time is to study. Am I making a mistake?

Just live your life, right? Sure, but I can't think of literally anything else to do with it.

We have a thing called talent and potential.
Someone can be good at calculation but not socially talking. It can be the opposite. Thing is one can explore other areas they enjoy and understand to unlock whats hidden inside them.

I didn't know what to pick a career until I stumbled on farming, so I prefer simple but beautiful form of crop care and I'll stay that way, so in the next decade or so I would be expert in my area.

Being smart is the act of making use of ones time wisely basically doing good activity all time, can be reading beneficial knowledge, understanding how things like nature, technique work, doing art as a skill practice, doing sport for exercise, resting a good sleep and many more. So its a good thing.

Its ok to be inneficient, we are not perfect but giving our best is enough so don't give up.

If someone decides to act smart to impress others then thats pointless. For me I will use it as an act of worship to The Creator and thats better.

Intelligence has nothing to do with knowledge. Intelligence is innate cognitive ability and probably mostly genetic. It probably does have enviromental/developmental factors, but those only matter during childhood.
If you have trouble understanding/remembering what you are studying you're probably not smart. But you can brute force through the material and become knowledgeable enough that the average person will think that you are smart for knowing these things.

Smart = being useful
Useful = solving problems
Find problems to solve

If you want you can split into fluid and crystallized intelligence. Fluid is the computer ram, crystallized is what you do with that ram. You can have good computer specs but if all you use it for is useless trash then... Retarded. You can have shit specs but if you used it well then. Smart.