>go on date last night
>goes really well
>hit it off
>have funny banter with her
>have moments of physical touch
>she's smiling and engaged in the conversation and we're being flirty
>come time to finally part ways
>Sperg out and brain goes completely blank on how to initiate the first kiss
>awkwardly hug and be like "Heh see you later, drive safe"
>text afterwards, she says she just got friend vibes and basically ghosts

This is like the 3rd time in my 2 year dry streak this exact scenario has played out. I'm not a bad kisser so I'm not self conscious about that. How the fuck do I get a hold of myself and initiate that first kiss without acting like a total spaz?

Do you anons have any special tricks to cut the tension and go for it? Speck in the eye trick? Anything?

>>33409714 (OP)
Literally fucking say “can I kiss you?” Wi to a little smile, you ineffective fuck. Use your fucking language. Source: me.

>>33409737
With** thanks autocorrect

>>33409714 (OP)
I should add that I'm an early 30s male who still hasn't figured this out.

Anytime I've made it with a woman she has basically initiated the first kiss by clearly getting close, giving the fuck me eyes, etc...

These 3 times I've referred too I think the girls were opened to being kissed based on how the date went up to that point but they were waiting on me to cut the tension and move in for the kiss. Idk how, it just feels so awkward forcing an intimate situation like that especially when you've only known them for a couple hours. I think most girls expect a first date kiss at this point too.

>>33409737
I'll have to remember this.

I did this once and it worked. Though it was the 2nd date when I felt more comfortable with her. Idk why I haven't used it again.

>>33409756
I also hate the tension of being at their car and she's trying to leave but also linger long enough so you might kiss her, but not too long. It's like an irl quick time event.

I'm also terrible for getting caught up in the moment and forgetting the mission.

Like I'll get enjoying the flow of the conversation and then forget that I'm actually on a date trying to court this woman. I stop being strategic and often forget about flirting, touch, and setting up for the kiss. I mean it's good being in the moment and not being anxious but I take it too far and lose sight of the objective.
Alcohol makes this even worse. I had 2 beers last night with her on an empty stomach and totally lost sight during the 2nd half of the date.

Any tips on sticking to the mission while on a date?

>>33409737
Is it this simple? Or is it beta to ask?

>>33410064
Yes it’s this simple.
The fact that you think it’s beta makes you the retard of the day. Communicate your fucking emotions and intentions with people. Christ.

>>33410074
Youre a fucking pussy. Just go in for the kiss, faggot. Asking for a kiss is woman behavior. Men use actions, women use words. Kys and maybe get reincarnated as someone with testicles.

>>33410135
Then explain why I get more kissies than you.
B)
And I’d hate to think I did something to a girl without her permission, or worse, just to appease me. Asking is awesome.

>>33409714 (OP)
So, first off, let go of the idea that your failure to kiss her put you in the friend zone. That is NOT how it works. If that's how she felt about you after the date, she would not have wanted to kiss you.

Second, if there's going to be some kissing, the end of the date is FAR too late to try and make it happen. It needs to happen much earlier, when the conversation is flowing well and everything feels good.

Third, don't "go in" for a kiss: ask her. You need to find the right tone, and the right expression and posture. You need to keep it light-hearted, and make two things clear: 1) You are confident that she would like you to kiss her, but 2) if she actually doesn't, you are completely relaxed about that.

I've probably kissed 50 or 60 women in my life, and I always asked. And sometimes they were surprised, but always pleasantly so. I would usually put on an exaggeratedly thoughtful expression, and say "Hmm.... I think perhaps I ought to kiss you at this point." (switch to a friendly grin, head on one side) "What do you think?"

>>33410135
Words are some of some of our more powerful tools. It is a sign of great intellectual and spiritual weakness to deny the emotional world, especially as a man.

>>33409714 (OP)
She got friend vibes because youre too much of a wuss… too scared to escalate. Youre not bold enough. Hug her tight and lean in for a kiss. Dont ask, lead. Shes free to reject you if she wants.

>>33410445
No shit dickweed that's the point of the thread that I didn't escalate towards the end. I did fine progressing up until then but basically left her hanging.

>>33409714 (OP)
if you 'lead' and lean for the kiss, you might get rejected (if you don't know how to read body cues) OR she can play the no-consent card later on.

just be honest and ask her if you can kiss her, you can make fun of yourself too for making that question in the first place; but be confident. kissing is generally awkward, women are also aware of that

>>33411380
Op here it probably sounds silly but I've always had it in my head that asking for the kiss was a turn off for women but honestly it seems like the best way. Gonna apply this in the future.

This late date really stings because it was so well and ended in catastrophic awkwardness. I think she feels I wasted her time.

>>33409714 (OP)
step 1. parse your lips

>>33412020
>I've always had it in my head that asking for the kiss was a turn off for women but honestly it seems like the best way.
(NTA) There are right and wrong ways to ask. If you sound like you're begging or pleading, that's a major turn-off. Confident but considerate is hot.

>>33409714 (OP)
Finally something I can give advice on. Ok so imagine you're at a restaurant and are talking to her on the date there. This is how it usually goes for me.
>ask her if we can move to a different, more secluded spot, ideally a corner booth or somewhere where less people are around
>pretend it's because you want to hear her clearly when she speaks
>ALTERNATIVELY you can ask her to go get ice cream or desert or something if you just had dinner, this gives you an opportunity to drive her somewhere so it is just you two alone together in the car at some point
>i shouldnt have to say this but obviously if she shows any sort of hesitancy do not insist that she gets in the car with you, you will scare her off
>anyways once it is just you two, make sure that touch barrier is broken if it isnt already. If she breaks it or has already broken it you basically have the go ahead
>usually if I am in the car i will put on some music, ideally something not super cringe or distracting but enough to create a little background noise
>at this point you should be looking into her eyes and making eye contact while having casual conversation or something, dont be afraid to "let her lead" by asking her questions and then branching off from there
>around this part, I will typically make a joke or ask a question leading to a kiss, this is hard to explain but for an example, one time I was on a date with this girl who vaped. I asked her what flavor of vape she had and she said it was gummy bears, so I asked how it tasted, and if she still had some of the taste in her mouth, and if I could taste it. She thought that was a bit clever so this led to a very intense make-out sesh of course
>once you are going in for it, a good move is to maintain eye contact until you move into her, dont stare wide eyed though. Put a hand on the side of her head near her ear (happens in movies) or her neck and she will get the idea of what you are doing

Hope that helps a bit.

>>33413169
Thanks anon. The creating seclusion is a great idea. I've always found it hard to create an intimate situation when you're seated in the middle of the restaurant.