something is seriously wrong with me

my fight or flight response is completely fucked up
just a few days ago

i was surprised to find a snake hiding behind the garden shed door and normally in this situation

your adrenaline spikes and yourheart beat jumps up immediately and so does your mind which goes on an over drive

meanwhile none of that happened to me instead i was relying on my hand and eye coordination in a very closed space to dodge the fleeing snake
It was almost as if I was an auto pilot
just acting on instinct nothing else
even after this sudden snake encounter my heart beat remained the same
I didn't even break a sweat
i didn't feel any sudden fear over this near death experience

this isn't the first time something like this had happened either

i was had an accident 2 years ago and back then too after the crash
i was on this kind of autopilot mode and didn't feel anything
no rush of adrenaline or not even army/leg shakes that usually happens post accidents

it's as if i don't feel anything
my brain doesn't register these near death incidents or other life threatening situations

i do feel afraid when i am standing over the wall/ledge on the top floor of my apartment
I am afraid of falling down from that kind of height and i do feel a strong sense of dread

meanwhile I don't feel anything when some kind of fight or flight situation occurs

i don't feel that kind of dread if suddenly some pitbull starts chasing me
i just don't feel anything instead i just go to autopilot and start reacting on instinct

>>33410054 (OP)
You’ve never heard of fight, flight, or freeze? Freeze being the important part here.

>>33410054 (OP)
you might have mild OCD about your fight or flight response. From the snake example it seems you just instinctively do the best thing in this situation, just without getting scared/excited. So imo there's zero problems here except you worrying about it. Try not to worry about it I guess?

Also is this the first time you told anyone about the snake encounter and/or car crash? Maybe you just needed to get it off your chest that these things happened to you

>>33410062
>Freeze being the important part here.
except
If i had freezed i would have died already

instead of thinking or feeling afraid for example if i had freezed even for a few moments after i opened the door
the snake which was hiding in the shed would have bit me when it tried to flee through the door i just opened

Instead i went on auto pilot
i didn't attack the snake
Instead i just jumped aside the moment i opened the door and saw the snake rushing towards me and it tried to escape through the only door it had access to and if I had freezed it would have bitten me trying to pass through me and escape

>>33410087
Why did you ignore the reply that actually addresses your concern? Fuck you, attention whoring faggot. Kys and feel nothing doing it.

>>33410054 (OP)
Could you be a psychopath?

>>33410083
>So imo there's zero problems here except you worrying about it. Try not to worry about it I guess?

I am just worried that one day i might find myself in some kind of tricky situation and would have no control over my body and all i could do is watch as i make a horrible mistake that could cost my life

I don't like the idea that my mind isn't in control of what my body is doing

what if things went wrong?

I would be watching myself doing something that could get me killed and i have no control over my actions

It's like being trapped in your own body and experiencing everything that's happening in slow motion

>This the first time you told anyone about the snake encounter and/or car crash?

I have talked to my friends and family about the car crash
and everyone brushed it off as just some kind of "shock" or me being too dramatic

one of my friend even said that that's what happens in most near death encounters and it's pretty common to feel that way

I haven't told anyone about the snake story other than my mother and brother

>>33410107
I am replying to each reply one at a time

>>33410114
how would I know?
also
i don't have any violent tendencies and i am very much afraid of being hurt/dying

>>33410054 (OP)
Nothing is wrong with you. You already know why you went on autopilot/no feeling/dissociation mode with the snake. It's because you have gained the ability to act during trauma or high stress scenarios.

You gained that after your car crash. Immediately after your car crash. You most likely developed a form of post-traumatic stress. PTSD.

If you thought this funky disorder was a state of being where you'd feel negative or frightening feelings 24/7 then you'd be wrong. It's an intense perpetual clarity that never stops. It's when the fight or flight response triggers so hard, it never stops. It keeps going. Days after the incident, weeks, months, years. Eventually you normalize the 24/7 fight or flight. You start to make it a part of life. It's just always running in the background, constant hypervigilance.

So you encountered the snake. And it felt like nothing happened, nothing new stirred within you. Because you're already in fight or flight, have been for some time. That's why it didn't seem different or alarming, you just acted in an instant.

Welcome to PTSD my nigga. Your mind had to enter that mode immediately upon your impact in the car. It's because your mind was 100% convinced you were going to die. It went into survival mode to maximize your chances of survival if your body somehow did not perish to force you to keep moving and going to get away from the reaper.

You survived. But the mind is a stubborn mule. It still thinks you're in a game of survival.

>>33410131
>I don't like the idea that my mind isn't in control of what my body is doing
this is OCD and it's basically you running in circles in your mind around some worrying thought. Try to stop doing that.

What you did was literally you yourself moving your body, just in a situation where there was zero time for hesitation.
"My body acted on its own" is an illusion. Try to practice not worrying about it, if you cannot do it on your own you might need to see a therapist who specializes in OCD.

>>33410187
I see
so it's a permanent change to the state of my mind

>>33410192
>this is OCD

is it permanent ?

>Try to practice not worrying about it, if you cannot do it on your own you might need to see a therapist who specializes in OCD.

I am hoping i will forget about all this in a few months
maybe i should see a doctor before it get's worse or becomes permanent

>>33410259
Bro don't be so pessimistic :(

>>33410259
>I see
>So it's a permanent change to the state of my mind

More or less, yeah. At least a very very stubborn pathway of the brain opened up, one that doesn't fully close but can be closed enough to go back to whatever before the incident. PTSD can go into remission. But a piece of it will always stay, and you will always relapse back into it each time you encounter high stress environs.

It's actually quite useful to have around once you get the hang of it. Makes you capable. Just consider it a marker for growth, bro. You saw death in its face and turned your back, you almost got fucked up but you survived. You got a massive perception shift as a result.
Nothing wrong in that. Nothing right either. It just is what it is. It's just instinct, that's what that is. That's what we called that sort of thing before people tried to psychobabble everything a human does it goes through.
Your instinct took the wheel after losing control of the wheels figuratively and literally. So let it take the wheel whenever it needs to. You'll be fine bud, promise.

>>33410276
sorry, I expressed myself unclearly. When I said "this is OCD" I meant "people who have OCD do this so much that they need treatment for it". That's a better definition of OCD.
It's definitely possible it goes away on its own for you. If it persists or gets worse it would be smart to see a therapist.

>>33410282
Nta but there's nothing pessimistic in having a permanent change of the state of mind. Everyone has them. Most people slowly grow into it (getting older over years decades). Some people have it happen to them in an instant, commonly from near death experience or other traumatic incidents.

Humans have a bad habit of villainizing or stigmatizing the trauma responses or changes occurred in the mind. The mind isn't doing anything wrong, it's actually doing what it needs to in order to adapt to sudden and abrupt change. I think people have this habit because they associate it as something bad because a bad event triggered it. It's just the event that sucked. The mind doing its thing afterwards doesn't suck

>>33410302
good point, I just meant the worrying about it will eventually go away. Your way of thinking about these things is quite helpful

>>33410282
i feel grateful to be alive and i don't feel bad about being alive
i was just confused about why my mind now works the way it does

>>33410292
>You'll be fine bud, promise.

thankyou so much

>It's definitely possible it goes away on its own for you.

I hope so too
>if it persists or gets worse it would be smart to see a therapist.

I will
thanks for the explanation

>>33410302

this is a new learning experience for me

>>33410332
Oh then yeah in that case you are spot on, worrying about it does eventually go away. That's a guarantee. The mind is a bit like a hard drive. It can't hold onto information forever. Eventually it has to let go or at least streamline and normalize it.

>>33410370
>this is a new learning experience for me
Yep and it's a good'n. As far as you're concerned one of the largest and most profound and/or confusing experiences you've been going through in your life. But life goes on, bro.

There will come a time in your life where you'll encounter other things in life that shakes you up, real hard. Some of them are from bad shit. Others are from beautiful shit. Stuff you won't see coming. I saw and moved through hard shit too. Almost died myself as well. Shook me up when I was young.

But later on you realize it's a tiny piece in your life as you grow. It's a bit like carving a 5 inch scar on a 6 inch tree sapling. That tree feels fucked up forever, feels like most of itself is now ruined. 90% of itself blemished. But if we let time do it's thing, that tree grows to 1 foot. Then 5. Then 10. All of a sudden it's a 25 footer, and suddenly that 6 inch scar is a scratch, a tiny mark that barely defines it.

That's how you know you are gonna be fine. Humans are a lot like trees that way.

>>33410054 (OP)
freeze response is also normal