I’m getting too old for this site but recently I’ve gotten a boyfriend who has had quite the list of exes, one even for 8 years. From everything I know, they were all kinda crazy and not good for him, to the point he’s extremely insecure.
I’m a not so good looking femcel and this is my first bf. He seems to be all over the idea of me and how I make him feel but he doesn’t really touch me enthusiastically otherwise. He keeps bringing up his exes, he seems rather traumatised by them, and I can’t stop thinking he stayed because they were hot.
He says I’m kinder, more stable, mature, sweeter, more interested in him than all his exes. But not hot, beautiful or desireable. I know guys say all the time they just want some sweet woman without drama, but I don’t want the desire to be one-sided.
I’m getting at an age where everyone has had partners anyway and it’s impossible for me to mog 18-22 year olds anyway so perhaps I just need to settle with the idea of settling. Yet.. it hurts.

>>33415871 (OP)
What do you look like?

>>33415941
Like this now give me advice

>>33415871 (OP)
He will never love you, you need to get out of that relationship immediately. Honestly you are a fucking idiot for even agreeing to date him. 9 times out of 10 if a moid has a bunch of exes its his fault.

>>33416131
It’s something I really don’t like and I would have an easier time with it if he just stopped fucking mentioning it.
But he is REALLY hot and we make a good team. I feel like I just need to take the L, swallow my pride, and be glad I get to date such a hot guy.
But it just hurts too much to be ugly even when in a relationship

>>33416131
>t. pumped and dumped by hot guy

>>33415871 (OP)
Ugly: you are less attractive than 50% of women. Easy way to measure: make dating app profile with good pics.

You might not actually be ugly. In fact, given your info, I doubt it. If you are not ugly (just normal), you should find a way to get over your insecurity and evaluate if you are happy with him. Is he making you feel insecure? Talk to him about how he can make you feel more beautiful. Remember you can find someone else. I'm assuming you are late 20's. The clock is ticking, but you still have options.

If you are actually ugly, it might be in your interests to say regardless. But bear in mind that if he does not find you attractive, he will leave if there is another option. Do you want to have kids with him? Is is he taking you seriously in this respect?

>>33416263
I’m sorry this is just normie advice. Talk to him about how he can make me feel more beautiful? Is there anything more embarrassing than that? Seriously?
>Am I actually ugly
I used to be really pretty but the wall and staying inside NEETing for years destroyed me. Insane difference in how people treat me nowadays

>>33416303
But yea late 20’s. Which is why there is this pressure to “settle” with someone that doesn’t even find me that pretty but just a safe choice to be around.

>>33415871 (OP)
>>33416171
honestly this just sounds like "life"
you got a decent guy, he got a decent girl, now you make a family and stick together.
It's not perfect, but in life you usually don't get perfect, you just hope not to get ass-fucked

just tell him to shut the fuck up about his exes, because he really has to stop doing that. Tell him he has to go to therapy if he can't get over them and focus on his new life with you.

>From everything I know, they were all kinda crazy
Run as fast as you can. The whole my exes were all crazy but you're the first good one blabla is a common lovebombing technique used by people with mental problems. The stories are made up to make him seem like the victim and he was likely the crazy one the whole time, not them (you haven't seen this part yet or realized it)

>>33416333
Thank you I think this grounds me a lot. It’s not the best. But its something okay I can still hope for
>>33416339
From what I’ve gathered his bad choices were just because of shit confidence. But he was in a relationship for 8 years, idk how I’m supposed to compete with that. But to me it’s a sign he’s probably a good guy. I think his problems just stem from lovebombing at first and then being a total sad energy vampire

>>33416303
Im sorry you didn't find it helpful. Unless you got fat, just staying inside won't make you ugly. Even if you are walling hard, assuming you are under 35, you can still find another beta bucks. Assuming he is not a psycho, yes you should talk to him about how ugly you feel. I think that is the only way to feel better in your relationship

>>33415871 (OP)
Attraction isn't entirely based on physical appearance. My husband has been with far hotter women and I coulda been with more conventionally attractive types. But I know I am the person he's the most attracted to and with whom he's had the best sex. Because we understand each other in a way neither of us have had before.

Others in this thread are catastrophizing about your boyfriends true feelings and they may very well be right, none of us know him enough to say. But right now he is with you not a hot crazy woman. If you are upset about the way he brings up his exes you should tell him that, if you feel like he doesn't touch you enthusiastically you should explore that. None of these issues are unique, they are especially not unique to ugly women. This could be a problem of his personality - being hung up on his ex, him also thinking that he is settling. In that case you can't do anything about it and you need to move on. But until you know that for sure your relationship requires you to work on it too, whether that is working on your self-worth or your ability to talk to him.

>>33416384
I’ve got too much pride to open up about in what ways I’m ugly. I genuinely rather just die
>>33416411
>Not entirely physical
I know this to be true but it still hurts. I notice it in every interaction. There are people that do find my beautiful and are all over me, but none of them are even close to how great he is. That’s what hurts, that I’m going for the one guy that isn’t physically attracted to me.
>exes
I think I will just act mad and ignore him next time he brings up an ex to give him a hint so he feels like a desperate idiot again

>>33416513
>
don't just be passive-aggressive, tell him that you want to build a life with him and leave the shit about exes in the past, and that it hurts you to constantly hear about them. It might even be a good thing to have a conversation about this, since it will help him understand this, and if he listens and takes it seriously, it will also help demonstrate he cares about you and wants to make this work right, and that he can move on

>>33416513
How do you know he isn't physically attracted to you? It seems highly irregular for a hot man to go for someone he does not like phsyically. How did you even meet?

>>33416237
I have never been out on a date. It doesnt take a genius to realize this.

>>33416513
Have you slept with him yet?

>>33416377
I know it is a red flag like the other anon said to have a bunch of "crazy" exes. But some times it is true, and I'm the living example of that lol. How to compete with the ex of 8 years? Be his girlfriend for 9.

But yeah tell him to go to therapy because otherwise he will never stop traumadumping, and you can't fix that

>>33416111
Damn, first thing I'd recommend is fixing your lack of face. That's going to be off-putting no matter how great your personality may be.

>>33415871 (OP)
>>33416171
>I can’t stop thinking he stayed because they were hot
>swallow my pride, and be glad I get to date such a hot guy.
>I just need to settle with the idea of settling. Yet.. it hurts.
>But it just hurts too much to be ugly even when in a relationship

Get out of this, date an equally ugly guy if you're really as ugly as you think you are. Actually gain some self esteem instead, also TV is fake we're all ugly. Looks fade anyways. Consider that even a Dodge is more reliable than a Lamborghini.

>>33415871 (OP)
>the idea of me
Red flag! Just like the retards on this board who want to meet the female version of themselves - they are "pursuing" (in their heads, not even irl) an idea rather than a potential real world companion. Just move on AND get outside, get fit, interact with strangers.

>>33415871 (OP)
>dates a hot guy with lots of options
>surprised when said hot guy doesn't treat her as well as an average looking beta would
Surprised Pikachu.