I am 25 years old and I live with my old parents. My parents always belittled me as a kid and fought 24/7 and as a result they raised me to have low self-esteem. Also, my father made poor decisions and wrecked the family financially. My father is also filthy; he doesn't wash his hands when he poops, doesn't clean his butt well, his bed is full of bed stains, and he's angry 24/7.
I stopped eating at home because every utensil, doorknob, etc. is contaminated with his dirty hands and I'd get diarrhea and get sick.
So I always eat junk food, it's cleaner, ironically.
I make peanuts. Unless I literally eat $0.25 tuna cans for breakfast and lunch I can't keep any of the money I get by the end of the month.
On top of all that I am mentally ill & have severe depression and can't take a lot of courses at college. A 5 year major is going to take 6-7 or even 8 years till I graduate. I am a third year student now, 2-3 years left to graduate and improve my circumstances enough to move out.
The accumulated traumas of my crappy childhood, coupled with the current situation in which I virtually have no options makes me have no hope. I do not believe in optimism. I believe in determinism and I am not lucky to have a good life.
What to do? I don't know what to do.
I can reduce my spending by half and start saving money, but it would reduce my living standards even further and it'd probably cause my clinical depression to come back.

>>33417927 (OP)
That sucks anon, here are some little improvements. Try to spend as much time away from home as you can, chill at friends' places if you can or study at the library.

Also, buy and collect your own utensils, plates, glasses, dish soap, cleaning sponge, pots, pans, etc. Keep them in your room. That way you can cook your own food and still have it be clean. This should also save you a fuckton compared to fastfood

>>33417932
i have no friends
the library costs $5 a day, that's a lot of money

>>33417945
Try to make friends in your course at uni
Also, what dystopian hellhole do you live in where the library costs money?

>>33417927 (OP)
If you knew this beforehand you should have started working/gone into trades immediately to secure independence. If you were young and dumb then well whatever. But if you keep yourself in dependence despite knowing its kinda on you.
Being independent financially is also good for your mental health in my experience.
Do you at least study something useful in college? If U you do a meme degree stop immediately

>>33417927 (OP)
I won't read obvious solution is obvious threads posted by glutton-for-punishment, subhuman morons.