37f It seems like most of the men I've been with over the course of my life have suffered from something I will call: "pleasure synchronization bias" when it comes to both relationships and sex. I've been trying to find a psychological term for this phenomina, and despite it being a fairly common experience for many women, there isn't one...so I basically made up my own term.

Basically it's this: as a woman you are having sex with a man, he's hard and seemingly having a good time. You're not very turned on, and some aspects of the sex may feel painful or weird. You explain this, but it doesn't seem to register. Your expression of disinterest is not seen by him, and worse still, your expression of pain is misinterpreted as moans of pleasure. You may have sex a few more times, but he doesn't really want to do the things you suggest because they aren't "hot"to him. You pretty much never orgasm and he doesn't seem to notice.

This all sounds like a very selfish thing to do on the man's part, but let's say that he is a good guy in many other ways, but he seems to have a major disconnect when it comes to this one issue. It almost doesn't seem like it's a choice, like when he is very turned on, he literally projects that experience onto you and is unable to see your experience as separate from his experience in that moment.

And this problem seems to extend to other interpersonal experiences as well. For example, if a guy has a crush on a barista, he often misinterprets her smiles and politeness as reciprocal sexual interest. This is a really common problem that many women complain of.

What leads guys to be like this? Does it come from being brainwashed by porn? Or do men actually not understand that woman are their own people with a separate experience of the world?

Please explain. Genuinely curious.

>>33441928 (OP)
>why don't men care if I cum
He's using your body to get off.
>why do men interpret kindness as flirting
Because women don't flirt. Instead, they signal that they are open to being flirted *with,* which is a very, very different thing. They do this by doing things that are indistinguishable from just being nice. Plus, most women are soaked in sexual attention from puberty till menopause, and men aren't. Someone dying of thirst will do anything for a thimbleful of water, someone with a faucet that never turns off will think they're strange.
>but I don't flirt like that
Yes, you do. I guarantee it.
>but I'm a woman and a lot of that sexual attention is bad and dangerous
Yes, it is. Still sexual attention.
>but surely men experience this too just lesser
No, they don't. This is the biggest dating discourse disconnect, so read it twice: when women say "nobody wants me," what they mean is "nobody who I want also wants me in return," and when men say "nobody wants me," they mean nobody. The concept of nobody giving you sexual attention, ever, is totally foreign to most women, so they don't even consider it as a possibility -- not their fault, they've just never experienced it in their lives. If you're stuck on this, this is the same thing that happens when women talk about feeling/being safe and men mouthbreathe NUH UH ITS TOTALLY SAFE ALWAYS at them, just in reverse.

better question is why are you incapable of fucking me who DON'T do this? Judging by YOUR experience this is a YOU issue. Why do you go after guys like that?

>>33441928 (OP)
>I don't like having sex with this man because he isn't giving me what I want. But I'm going to keep doing it so I have something to complain about.

>>33441928 (OP)
It's because women never tell men they are dissatisfied becae they want men to be able to read their minds.
>You explain this, but it doesn't seem to register.
Its because giving vague hints hours after the event isn't actually explaining.

>>33441928 (OP)
It's intrinsic to men since men are possessed by lust, most can do nothing about it unless they're disciplined. For men nowadays it's pretty much normal to be 25 and a virgin, they don't talk to women and when they see one smiling at them you can expect the result. Other than that, women ditch men when they listen to them (for being too clingy), and that's why guys will maybe disregard 10-20% of your wishes just to prove that they aren't clingy and aren't under the control of women.
Idk why you're asking this as a 37yo female, you have hit the wall, you are the mackerel of women (trash pickings), not like a guy will love you unless he's like 60 and balding.

>>33441928 (OP)
>What leads guys to be like this? Does it come from being brainwashed by porn?
It's a general cultural thing, but a porn thing in particular.

>>33441928 (OP)
>if a guy has a crush on a barista, he often misinterprets her smiles and politeness as reciprocal sexual interest. This is a really common problem that many women complain of.
Honestly I think it's normal... men are so alone, isolated and neglected nowadays that any sort of "connection" he manages to get with someone, we'll instantly think of it as a flerting issue. I don't really think there's anything to do about it, hence why, if I were a girl, I wouldn't really apply for these type of jobs, unless I really needed the money.

>>as a woman you are having sex with a man, he's hard and seemingly having a good time. You're not very turned on, and some aspects of the sex may feel painful or weird. You explain this, but it doesn't seem to register. Your expression of disinterest is not seen by him, and worse still, your expression of pain is misinterpreted as moans of pleasure. You may have sex a few more times, but he doesn't really want to do the things you suggest because they aren't "hot"to him. You pretty much never orgasm and he doesn't seem to notice.
He just doesn't care about your sex experience, Anon. That's just him being selfish. The only option you have is to leave the person, if that's an issue for you. For me, personally, If I noticed the girl wasn't having as much fun as I was, that'd be an instant turn off. So yeah, that's it... btw, I think the way he treats you during sex is where you find out what he really thinks of you. I wouldn't treat my gf as a total cumdump unless I thought she was one.

>>33441928 (OP)
>For example, if a guy has a crush on a barista, he often misinterprets her smiles and politeness as reciprocal sexual interest. This is a really common problem that many women complain of.
>What leads guys to be like this? Does it come from being brainwashed by porn? Or do men actually not understand that woman are their own people with a separate experience of the world?
Because men like women. If a man is attracted to a woman, he wants the feeling to be mutual and starts looking for signs. How is this hard for you to understand? Not everything a man does is because of "porn brainwashing". Do you think men are only attracted to women because of porn?

>>33441928 (OP)
I've found women tend to have the most fun when I don't give a shit what they want or how they feel.

>>33442003
The only problem with this mindset is that taken to it's most extreme conclusion, it results in rape.

>>33441928 (OP)
Honey, this is called being a prude.
You don't need to be a slut to understand how enjoyably sex is.

>>33442040
>taken to it's most extreme conclusion
Are you stupid? By that logic, eating too much leads to a heart attack. Should you not eat to keep your heart safe? Rapists are rapists. A guy misinterpreting signals from a cute barista isn't the same thing as him raping her.

>>33441928 (OP)
Have you ever heard the term "post nut clarity"?
All brain cells are off when dick hard.

>>33442073
It is when someone keeps telling you No and your brain interprets it as Yes.

>37f It seems like most of the men I've been with over the course of my life have suffered from something I will call: "pleasure synchronization bias" when it comes to both relationships and sex. I've been trying to find a psychological term for this phenomina

I am going to stop you right there. After reading only this much I am absolutely sure that you are not a woman. Women do not think like this. This is a mans thinking.

>>33442085
Again, rapists are rapists. Unless the actual act of rape has occurred, it isn't rape. The majority of normal men will drop it when a woman says she isn't interested.

>>33442129
I understand that you believe that, but what I've been trying to convey in this thread, is that it's actually not that simple at all. I actually, genuinely, believe a lot of rapists don't even know that they raped someone because of Pleasure Synchronization Bias. Essentially, during the sexual encounter there were signs that the other person wasn't enjoying the sex, but they were ignored, blocked out, or eroticized. By the time the man realizes that the encounter wasn't entirely consensual, his ego is highly invested in covering up what happened. He may vaguely know something wasn't right about the sex, or he may have watched so much porn he can't tell the difference between his partner enjoying sex and being raped. It's essentially normalized, in a way.

It also really doesn't help that a lot of men are addicted to porn, which is essentially recorded rape most of the time. You may want to believe it's consensual, but it's not. And I can even give you an example:

Over all the years that PornHub has been operational, they were expected to self police and report child porn that was uploaded into their platform. Not once did they do so.

When the FBI was called in to identify and remove child porn on pornhub, it took them only 15 minutes to find it.

Were we blind to it? Was it Pleasure Synchronization Bias? Or do men just not care that much about consent?

>>33442031
I think a lot of men unfortunately share that sentiment, but you are going to be pressed to find very many women who also feel that way.

>>33441999
Exactly. I actually feel really bad for men today because so much of society is set up to brainwash them and lead them astray. And there are so many bitter incel types that reinforce misogyny and bad behavior. You actually have to be a fairly strong person to step outside that framework and think for yourself.

>>33442178
I don't think you have any room to talk about someone else being brainwashed.

>>33441928 (OP)
A lot of men, particularly of your generation, are just sexist. Porn is also an issue. Also a lot men just don't understand women and wouldn't know where to go to find out about them if they wanted to. Also initially when you start understanding women you actually like them less, and it takes more learning before you like them again.

>>33442206
Please explain.

>>33442219
Well said and very true. Another thing to consider is that we tend to hang out with people who are the most similar to ourselves, regardless of gender.

I remember listening to some Andrew Tate interview where he was going on about how women are dumb and parasitic and manipulative. And it's funny because those are also traits you might say Tate has...so like attracts like.

I think the key is probably hanging out with all kinds of people. If you don't like the woman in your life, try hanging out with different ones. A female doctor is going to have a different perspective than a high school cheerleader. Talk to older women, black women, disabled women, MAGA women, fighter pilots, artists etc. Everyone is going to have a different perspective. You may find yourself hating some women, and respecting and loving others.

>>33442220
You sound like the typical brainwashed hyperfeminist where "All sex, even if consensual, is still rape. Every time a man has sex, it's rape." That kind of horseshit.
>I actually, genuinely, believe a lot of rapists don't even know that they raped someone
You're a moron for this, because rapists do know what they're doing. Your average guy is only having sex with a woman at all because she agreed to it in the first place.
>Essentially, during the sexual encounter there were signs that the other person wasn't enjoying the sex, but they were ignored, blocked out, or eroticized. By the time the man realizes that the encounter wasn't entirely consensual, his ego is highly invested in covering up what happened.
You think if sex isn't being fully enjoyed by the woman, despite being consensually agreed upon, that it counts as rape? In your scenario, did the woman ever speak up and say she wasn't enjoying it? A normal man will honor that, a rapist won't. The steamrolling you're talking about is actual rape. And also, women can be bad at sex too. A man can still go through it with despite that. It isn't rape either.

The "Pleasure Synchronization Bias" thing you made up doesn't actually exist and trying to say that men are just brainwashed animals who can't tell the difference between rape and consensual sex makes you sound insane. I'm sorry for the bad experiences you've clearly had, but this is nonsense.

>>33442204
Congratulations on discovering feminism.

>>33442178
This is kinda retarded
if you say "no, stop, get off me, I don't want this" and he continues, he knows damn well what he is doing

>>33441928 (OP)
I always made my girfriends cum twice before I did but you women want six figures six pack and six feet tall so you get off how you deserve.

>>33442273
>You think if sex isn't being fully enjoyed >by the woman, despite being >consensually agreed upon, that it counts as rape?

No, but men shouldn't be cool with sex that their partner isn't enjoying, even if they did consent to it. Not caring about if your partner is enjoying the sex kinda makes you a bad person.
>In your scenario, did the woman ever >peak up and say she wasn't enjoying it? >A normal man will honor that, a rapist >won't. The steamrolling you're talking >about is actual rape.

Yes, so we can agree about that. And this issue is that this type of thing happens ALL THE TIME. To many many women. When you hear that statistic about how 1 in 5 women has been raped, this is what they are talking about.

And It's getting worse because so many people are autistic and turbo online, and they can't read social cues. They are also brainwashed by porn into thinking women like being choked, gangbangs, and anal. They simply don't know most women are not into that kind of thing, and they think screaming is a good sign.

Also the first example that we both agree is not rape, but just shitty behavior. That same guy will go onto rape.

If the two situations were a ven diagram, he's right in the middle. It's why you should care about this shit.

>>33442321
Pleasing women doesn't get you anywhere. I always did and now i'm over 40 and single. So your guy is probably doing the right thing.

>>33442297
>if you say "no, stop, get off me, I don't want this" and he continues, he knows damn well what he is doing
NTA but no, he doesn't. Legally he is still guilty of rape (in most countries) but he genuinely believes himself not to be. There are an enormous number of excuses and outright myths that rapists use to convince themselves they are not rapists. To take a few isolated examples out of thousands of possibilities:

"She wanted it really, she just pretended not to because she didn't want me to think she was a slut."

"She wanted it really, otherwise why would she be dressed like that?"

"She decided to get that drunk, that makes it her fault."

"If she didn't want to have sex, why did she come to my room?"

"Obviously once a man gets going he can't stop, and she knew that."

"It's her fault for being out so late."

And so on, and so on.

Then on top of that there's the fact that many people, when suddenly attacked, react by freezing in shock, and are unable to speak or move for quite some time. Many rapists are under the impression that not saying no constitutes consent. They are wrong: you need a yes for it to be consent. But "if she didn't want it she'd have said no or struggled" is an extremely common rapist excuse. And rapists absolutely buy into their own propaganda.

>>33442340
I hope you get raped LARPing chat gpt faggot

>>33442321
>"Actually, it's not rape, it just shitty behavior and makes you a bad person. But being an asshole leads to rape so it's the same thing."
You relented on your previous points and just made up a new one so you can still try to be right. Shitty behavior isn't rape either. A rapist will go on to rape. A guy acting out porn tropes isn't trying to be a rapist.
>They are also brainwashed by porn into thinking women like being choked, gangbangs, and anal. They simply don't know most women are not into that kind of thing, and they think screaming is a good sign.
Again, you still can't let go of the idea that men are just brainwashed animals devoid of conscious thought. More women are into that stuff than you think. You seem to have very narrow views of what men and women are when it comes to sex. Men are just mindless cavemen, and women are delicate, pure damsels who constantly get abused by these feral monsters.

>>33442340
I understand what you are saying and agree with most of it. (Especially the freezing up part) I actually think this is an evolutionary byproduct of past generations being raped, because it feels so automatic sometimes. In other words, think the rape victims who froze up, bred. It's so weirdly instinctual to not stand up for yourself.

To some degree though I think modern woman need to do better. We need to be better communications, especially when we expect it of men. If we don't communicate we risk not only hurting ourselves, but the men we sleep with, and every person those men interact with in the future.

>>33442361
you're only replying to yourself and ignoring me, why don't you try a fanfic writing group or something

>>33441928 (OP)
this is on you for not listening to men that show you how dumb they are. many guys out there know how to listen and do things women want. you keep going for those who don’t. one or two times maybe it’s luck. you’re 37 and haven’t found it? that’s a you problem

You can pick better people to fuck. On the whole flirting thing, who cares? Do people really not see it as being okay to try and pursue someone romantically that they believe there to be a potential for connection?

>>33442372
This. OP is a faggot as always

>>33442361
We are going in circles here, I think. I will you with one final thought: everyone knows a woman who was raped. However, no men have ANY male friends who have raped anyone. So where are all the rapists coming from, anon?Who are they?

>>33441928 (OP)
i'm a guy but i genuinely can't comprehend how someone could be so stupid to not understand these things or be so unresponsive to a woman's wants or needs especially during something as intimate as sex. but i'm a kissless hugless handholdless incel virgin so what do i know. most women would rather see me dead.

>>33442384
>So where are all the rapists coming from, anon?Who are they?
Foreigners.

>>33441928 (OP)
you know when I first read "pleasure synchronization bias" I thought you're going to rant about how guys always want to please their girl because that's what gives them pleasure but you don't really enjoy sex so It's just a bore for you. Then you just described a self-absorbed guy who doesn't communicate. Didn't expect this.

I don't impose my own pleasure onto someone else, the way I do this is first by observing them, and second by communicating and asking the questions.
I am empathetic enough to understand that what I feel may not always represent what the other person feels. This isn't necessarily a guy thing - Its a human thing.

With that being said, if I had to guess why guys, in your experience, behave like this, then I would say that Its because they feel some sort of drive to be macho, to be the leader, and they feel so good that they are succeeding so these beliefs intensify and they become blind to the other person's needs.

I could see myself making this mistake when I was, 16, 17. Really quickly as I got my first GF I understood how important it is to be reciprocal, as she wasn't reciprocal at all when it came to love (not physical love, but emotionally).

So yeah, there's plenty of self-interested men AND women, I would advise for you to get away from the overzealous, inexperienced and uncommunicative guys by trying to have a conversation with whatever guy you're with, and if he has empathy and he understands what you want and what you need - then that's a good guy. If he's unable to understand, then he's a macho macho man and he don't need no woman (literally, just leave him) xD

>>33441966
not OP but wow your analogies and explanations at the end are very well thought out and written, I think you're explaining to this lady the male experience pretty well!

>>33442384
>We are going in circles here, I think.
Because you can't accept that your worldview is skewed or that you're just as capable of being brainwashed. You've tried to make this whole thread into a modern PSA where danger is around every corner and every man either psychotically thrives on rape, or is simply too stupid and oblivious to understand that he's doing it. Even your "final thought" is still irongripped on that idea.
>However, no men have ANY male friends who have raped anyone. So where are all the rapists coming from, anon? Who are they?
Why would they? What rapist would ever go around advertising that? Who would ever remain friends with one who did?
This line of thought is basically saying "Either every man is a rapist or none of them are and they don't exist." Only the rapists and the women they've raped know who they are. No sane person sits around and ponders if someone they know might secretly be an abuser.

>>33441928 (OP)
>37f It seems like most of the men I've been with over the course of my life...
I.e. you're a slut and consequently date promiscuous men who also treat you like a slut. This is selection bias and is almost entirely self-inflicted.
Doesn't mean the dudes aren't shitty, but your exposure to them was your choice, hence your dating them.

>For example, if a guy has a crush on a barista, he often misinterprets her smiles and politeness as reciprocal sexual interest.
This is generally true. Men tend to overestimate signals, which leads women to be more reserved and careful, which in turn encourages men to misinterpret even slight gestures as interest.
But even here, the kinds of men to make approaches off of tiny gestures tend to be the subset with low inhibitions, and it often works for them, because eventually some woman will say yes. Typically not a catch herself, but sometimes they manage to catch a naive and/or sheltered women and create another bitter, damaged one by the time they're done.

>>33442593
33441928 (OP) #
>I.e. you're a slut and consequently date >promiscuous men who also treat you >like a slut. This is selection bias and is >almost entirely self-inflicted.

This isn't just me though. This is literally every single woman ik know. But don't take my word for it. Ask the woman in your own life if they have experienced something similar to this.


>This is generally true. Men tend to >overestimate signals, which leads >women to be more reserved and careful, >which in turn encourages men to >misinterpret even slight gestures as >interest.
>But even here, the kinds of men to make >approaches off of tiny gestures tend to >be the subset with low inhibitions, and it >often works for them, because >eventually some woman will say yes. >Typically not a catch herself, but >sometimes they manage to catch a >naive and/or sheltered women and >create another bitter, damaged one by >the time they're done


Uh-huh. Yes

>>33441928 (OP)
this happened a bunch with my ex where I could tell she was obviously in pain and would tell me she was okay until eventually she tapped out nearly in tears and I would always tell her it was okay if she needed to stop but for some reason never felt like she could speak up or something. Deeply ill woman desu. You need to communicate what you need. Yes I can notice youre in pain but if you tell me to keep going and that youre okay I will.

>>33441928 (OP)
Don't only tell him that he's doing something wrong, tell him what else to do. Some girls want you to go fast and hard on their clits, others hurt when you do that. "Ow" doesn't communicate what she likes, only what she dislikes. He's probably going to do some stuff that his previous gf loved and it'll turn out a little wrong. It's of course on him to listen, but it's just as much on her to tell him clearly what she wants - what she wants, not just what she doesn't want. If she doesn't know what she wants, she can tell him "I don't know what I want and I'd like to find out together."

>>33442593
>I.e. you're a slut and consequently date promiscuous men who also treat you like a slut. This is selection bias and is almost entirely self-inflicted.
came here to post this

>>33441928 (OP)
It has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with communication. As a man I can confess that one of the symptoms of the Y chromosome is the absolute and total inability to understand hints or even realize hints are being made..

Women are trained (and perhaps genetically inclined) to be indirect, protecting the other person's feelings even at the expense of clearly making their point. Men NEED it said in simple declarative sentences ("That hurts. Don't do that. Do this instead") to even register that something is being said.

It's one of the burdens of being a woman that you have to learn to speak our language because we can't learn to hear yours.

>>33443934
This. Also call him a dumb retard. There's a reason military is full of swearing and yelling.

>>33441928 (OP)
Men are stupid, hormones influence your thought process but they aren't an excuse, and when you're that horny, you don't care to reason, you just want to bust a nut.
idk what to tell you but men are retarded and dogs

>>33441928 (OP)
As a general rule, if you notice an oddity that only you think affects an entire group of people, to the point that you have to come up with a term for it, it is most likely a reflection of a personal problem of yours, which is not actually present in others. In this case, maybe you just can't communicate with men, and you make absurd assumptions about their own thinking, as the rest of your post proves.

>For example, if a guy has a crush on a barista, he often misinterprets her smiles and politeness as reciprocal sexual interest. This is a really common problem that many women complain of.
We don't "interpret" shit. You're the one who can't get in the mind of a man. If a guy has a crush on a girl he'll take the course of action that most likely leads to them getting together; and since with most girls it's almost impossible to distinguish kindness from flirting, as
>>33441966 explained, it's better to push it until you get rejected than to give up with the risk of losing a girl who was actually interested in you (which happened to me way more times than the first case).

>>33443934
>It's one of the burdens of being a woman that you have to learn to speak our language because we can't learn to hear yours.
You understand that not learning to hear her language can land you in prison, right? This is bullshit anyway. All men have to learn to do is actually ASK "Are you okay with this?" Men don't ask because they don't care about the answer.

>>33444186
men don't ask because "are you okay with me kissing you" is allegedley enough of an ick to make women walk away and laugh about it to their friends.

>>33444186
>Are you okay with this?
Yeah, nothing sets the mood like asking for permission every step of the way

>>33442457
>Why would they? What rapist would ever go around advertising that? Who would ever remain friends with one who did?
NTA but I think you're missing the point, there. Yes, of course, rapists don't advertise who they are. But the problem is other men's perception. If men would acknowledge that is entirely possibly that some of their friends might be rapists and they don't know about it, then the world would become a much better and happier place.

The issue is that men perceive rapists as being entirely distinct from "normal" men. They are absolutely *certain* that no one they know is a rapist, that rapists are something else entirely, that they cannot possibly know anyone like that, and that every person they know cannot possibly be like that. As long as men perceive rapists as a kind of alien species, distinct from themselves, they can tell themselves that the phenomenon of rape has absolutely nothing to do with them and it is not in any way their responsibility to prevent it. And that means it will keep happening.

The actual reality is that rapists exist at one end of a rather broad spectrum, and that most men are not right at the opposite end, but somewhere in between. And the other important realisation is that someone's position within that spectrum isn't fixed: before becoming a rapist, a man will escalate gradually, starting with very mild stuff and getting steadily worse; and the more the comparatively mild behaviour isn't called out (and the more he sees other men doing the same thing), the more it is normalised and the more that encourages further escalation. Men cannot or will not see this, because it requires them to realise that rapists and non-rapists are not completely distinct groups, and that men who rape are actually very like some men they know - and indeed may even be some men they know.

>>33444203
>men don't ask because "are you okay with me kissing you" is allegedley enough of an ick to make women walk away and laugh about it to their friends.
This does not happen. I've kissed fifty or sixty women in my life. I *always* asked. Obviously I didn't ask unless the date was going well and I was reasonably sure she would be okay with it, but I can't recall anyone ever saying no.

>>33444230
>Yeah, nothing sets the mood like asking for permission every step of the way
The thing is, it actually does. Women like feeling safe and listened to.

t. man with body count of 40

>>33441928 (OP)
>women wants to be fucked by chad but chad doesn't want to fuck her
>women settles for steve instead
>women willingly fucks man shes not actually sexually attracted to
>doesn't enjoy it
>somehow its the mans fault
case closed. glad we got this figured out

>>33442094
> Totally self-absorbed and expects other people's feelings to revolve around them and projects their intentions onto others.
Sounds like a woman to me, kek.
Typical manhatery femcel psuedointellectual ramblings. Cherry picking to make overgeneralizations. In my experience/observation, women do that with EVERYTHING. And men just do that with sex.
OP is just taking shit too literally, people get carried away when they are horny, when they want something really bad, it's normal. People play dumb about their intentions because it's more polite than admitting they don't care. "Oh, I ate the last piece of cake, I thought you wanted me to have it!"

>>33441928 (OP)
>Spend teen years on reddit seeing posts like this every day
>Vow to learn how to sex the way women want it
>Read female smut, watch female porn, read their fantasies on reddit
>Actually get a woman the first time
>Stop with this slow shit anon, fuck me properly! Harder! Deeper! Punish me!
>must be an aberration, maybe the next one will be different
>FUCKING WRECK MY CUNT YOU FUCKING COWARD
>okay two in a row, surely they can't all be like this
>Pull my hair and spit on me, call me a dirty useless slut!
What women want in the moment and what they think they want when they're 300 posts deep in a /r/relationshipadvice thread are two very, very different things, anonette. You're all blind to this.

>>33444706
women who read/write smutty fan fictions don’t get laid. they’re different from women who actually have regular sex.

>>33441928 (OP)
>37f
hard to believe you are that old, did you start having sex at around 35? You should already know that it's only about not "connecting" to the other person. Some men don't connect to any person because of mental illness, or because they just want sex. Literally grow up more

>>33444706
What women want sexually and what women want romantically is very different, men also do the same thing
>I want a big tiddy whore who will let me cum in her ass on the first date
>But I wanna date a soft cute virgin mommy who holds me when I cry
Same thing.

>>33441928 (OP)
There is a term for this, it's:
Frigid.
It describes a woman who is not into sex at all.

As a 37f, this problem will keep getting worse for you, if you manage to find men to have sex with at all.
>seemingly having a good time
He is not having a good time with a 37f. He is trying his best to come at all. It will be more and more difficult for men to come while having sex with you.

>he literally projects that experience onto you and is unable to see your experience as separate from his experience
This is an overall pattern with men; the more attractive a woman is, the more interested a man will estimate her to be in him. The happier a man is in a marriage, the happier he thinks his wife is, even if he's obviously slacking off. If the sex is great for him, it must be amazing for her. This is purely a matter of impulsivity and a lack of empathy and observational skills.

>>33443945
Don't do this, that sort of thing comes off very differently from women.

>>33444917
This whole thread comes off as a failure to understand that men and women think differently. A woman made it to 37 and still can't figure out why men don't fuck like women do.

>>33441928 (OP)
Because you you have poor mate selection and fucked a bunch of dudes with small dicks. Try fucking a guy with a decent cock and see how different it is.....jokes you can't because your old and let a bunch of chodes cum in you.

>>33441966
>when women say "nobody wants me," what they mean is "nobody who I want also wants me in return," and when men say "nobody wants me," they mean nobody. The concept of nobody giving you sexual attention, ever, is totally foreign to most women, so they don't even consider it as a possibility -- not their fault, they've just never experienced it in their lives. If you're stuck on this, this is the same thing that happens when women talk about feeling/being safe and men mouthbreathe NUH UH ITS TOTALLY SAFE ALWAYS at them, just in reverse.
This deserves to be highlighted.

>>33441966
I will buy your book if you ever write one anon

>>33441928 (OP)
>intellectualizing being a washed up roastie used by tall chads

sad shit but you looked for it

>>33441966
Should be mandatory reading for women. And we need the opposite for men. Might help unfuck the situation a bit.

>>33447432
The final redpill is that the Christians were right about premarital sex, and that it would be better if it was normal for people to marry their high school boy/girlfriends.

>>33441928 (OP)
>37f
you should've been married a long time ago.
the men who are still willing to fuck you are the worst of the worst.

>>33441928 (OP)
it has to do with nature and reproduction, hint, only one orgasm is required for children to be produced.

It's a shitty man problem.

If a man won't make you cum, get rid of him.

Have standards. Soon as the guy ignores you, mid sex, call it off.

An absent minded idiot might snap to it.

An asshole will refuse to accept his part in the debacle.

Voila.

>>33441966
>Because women don't flirt. Instead, they signal that they are open to being flirted *with*
Thank you for articulating this. Noticed the same thing but never knew how to say it.