maybe tomorrow

>>33455008 (OP)
I'm sad my grandma is gonna die. She has cancer and it's gotten worse. Plus now she's acting like she has dementia she's yelling at everyone saying how nobody does anything for her and thinks she's at home when she's in the hospital. I want to call her but I don't want to get yelled at and get told awful things by her. She made my mom cry today on the phone even though my moms been trying her hardest to help her. I love her so much and I wish I could have gotten in a better place before she passed. She never saw me date a girl, go to college, or pass my road test. I know she loves me but I feel her memories of me might've been disappointment. She's lived for a long time and I feel like the time is coming really soon. I don't think she's gonna survive this year.

We talked about so much
There was so much we were supposed to do
I don't wanna get into the details because it's fucking sappy but I still don't get how you could just give all of that up like we never felt that way about each other
And meanwhile I still can't move on

Why do women say they're not attracted to muscles and big dicks.
What's even the point of lying about that lol.
It's 2025 sis, we all know you're a slut, you're being cringe and weird rn.

>>33455008 (OP)
My dad keeps making changes to my house that im not asking for so he can stay busy.

You either flake last minute or don't show up at all. You're also a gossiping cunt who will take everything that's said in the group outing and tell people at work who shouldn't know genuinely personal business about someone else's life like it's a topic of discussion. Which leads to drama within the friend group.

Of course you aren't going to be invited anymore to places. What did you expect wpils happen when you never own up to your shit and make the vibes feel off.

>>33455027
why can’t you move on?

I’m pretty sure I’m immune to blacking out when drunk which is both a blessing and a curse. I got wasted at home alone Tuesday night and I seriously wish I couldn’t remember what I said to my friend that I was texting. I didn’t say anything terrible per se but just said stupid shit that should’ve stayed inside my head. I guess it’s cool I can drink and drink and drink and not black out though. Anyway, I’m not drinking for the month of August, something’s gotta change. I’m not being strict about it, I might have one shot or one beer with friends and family once a week under certain conditions, but other than that, I’m not touching the stuff. I need to prove to myself that I’m not an alcoholic.

>>33455069
A lot of reasons
Because we were that ridiculously aligned on so many things to the point it was starting to feel outlandish
Because it was the first time I've experienced mutual attraction and intimacies with someone since I've just come out of a long period of apathy after self improving
Because it was the first time being my full true self unfiltered with someone and they leaned in after seeing all my vulnerabilities instead of pulling back
It just didn't work out in the end and I'm trying to become okay with that and be able to try again

>>33455073
If you can stop yourself at 1 drink or shot with friends youre the opposite of an alcoholic.

I think killing myself could be worth it...
God has got to be good... He'd be merciful and understand why I did it. That I just cannot take anymore. I reached my limit.
He would understand. I wouldn't go to Hell.
But my family... my family is the problem. How can I find it within myself to ever hurt them that way? But I really just want to stop living. I can't. I don't want to hurt them.
Why? I'm forced to stay alive because of them. I couldn't possibly exist in any plane of reality knowing what I've done. The guilt would destroy me and I can only imagine how much it'd destroy them.
No one will save me. I'm fucked.

>>33455077
how long were you two together anon?

>>33455079
Yeah I’ve never really bought into the whole “abstinence sobriety” thing but my drinking definitely has gotten out of hand lately especially when I am at home by myself so I have to see this little challenge through for my own sake

>>33455111
Fair enough. Drinking alone can get bad fast. Good luck.

I just don't know how to tell you guys that I just don't know what to do anymore.
I know I haven't been able to do anything that I wanted to do productively, yet I don't want to ask for help from any of you guys. You guys have never known me.
Or maybe you have. I've never knew myself, and all I've done was mask with every new person that I've spoken to.

>>33455082
I feel like I'm in your same shoes in terms of living. Force to live a forever hell with how your life is going is an awful fate.
One way that I distract myself at the very least is from appreciating the small joys in life at the very least, so maybe you could try doing the same to make it at the very least.
Also nice satori

I wish I could get motivation for live more than "live long enough to have children" for my family. I have no reason for doing any of this shit.
It's like I've been floating around with a person with no brain.

I got followed on IG by a smokin’ hot chick from my retail job the other day and we’ve been talking more at work lately and in DMs but I can’t tell if she’s into me or just being friendly, and I’m too scared to escalate our back-and-forth teasing to anything blatantly flirtatious because she’s one step above me in the leadership hierarchy even though I don’t report directly to her. There has to be some way to bait her into asking me to hang out or something. I’d just do it myself but I’m scared of making things awkward and/or getting in trouble at work. Last night she posted a mirror selfie to her story wearing skimpy shorts I wanted to drop a like on it but was too scared of how it would be received so I did nothing, I would’ve had plausible deniability man I should’ve just done it and if confronted could’ve just said that I like all my friends’ story posts reflexively or whatever. I’m fucked man I’m not built for this shit

I got dumped by somebody who said they lived with somebody who was terminally ill because I was poor. I refuse to believe somebody changes how shallow they are in life and so it makes me believe they were dating this other person with the intention of claiming their inheritance.

Masking for all of these people that I've let insult me was the biggest mistake I've have done with people.
But it's not like I had a choice for protecting myself. I know they'll always have that upper hand so I have to be on their side otherwise they'll destroy me.

How do i cope with the fact that i’m a disgusting faggot
there is something wrong with my brain when i see a vagina i just feel total disgust

What do I even do as a virgin in my mid 30s

>>33455291
women have buttholes too anon, u can be hetero and still never have to touch a vagina

>>33455292
Why obsess over sex this far within your life? What's the closest to a sexual experience have you done in your life?

I haven't had a non-internet friend since i was in 7th grade and I fear i'll never make any ever again. I forget that it puts me in the minority to not have any irl friends, its become so normal for me at this point.

>>33455008 (OP)
Fuck everything. I've not killed myself yet just because of one friend that did everything to stop me from doing it. I am dead man that's still breathing, I don't feel alive nor real anymore. Everytime I get a glimpse of hope, suddenly all weight of my life choices strikes me.

Women keep coming onto me because I’m friendly, but because I’m autistic I end up leading them on without realizing. This wouldn’t be an issue except for the fact that I’m a devout Christian.

I really wish I knew how to solve this problem because I have such immense social anxiety. I don’t view most women as potential partners but I want to put my all into being friendly to absolutely everyone always, man or woman. Why do I have to compromise? Do I simply not have to be friends with women? Do I simply have to be less friendly with everyone? I just don’t understand whatsoever and I wish these girls would leave me alone. I’ve met other women who signaled a lot more clearly and gave me the space to opt out. I miss those girls. I don’t miss these stupid ones. They freaked out over me rejecting them. This is so fucking stupid. Why is it wrong that I don’t want to homewreck? That I don’t want to force a spark?

>>33455008 (OP)
The internet makes it sound like borderline personality disorders is all over the place, but frankly, I have never once encountered a person whose behavior makes me think of the symptoms of BPD.

I think about you all the time...

Growing up in the 2000s, all media showing tech as the future, so much cool inventions to make life better, work for us and all. Turns out it's only for the rich and this future will never happen for common people

>>33455781
Not even tech just for the rich. It was all just fantasy.

We're both introverts with anxiety, this relationship is dead on arrival

im honestly kind of glad you never tried to reach out again because if im being honest spending time with you would've been miserable because you are an absolute retard cunt lol please stay the frick away from me thanks

>>33455023
How old is she? You should probably call her anyway.

>>33455008 (OP)
Any therapists here?

Been having terrible intrusive thoughts about my girlfriend's sexual past, and have been kept up at night dealing with this shit. Did some journaling, and I recently discovered that my issue probably lies with
a) how she and I might potentially value sex and love differently;
b) how the above might lead to our present relationship possibly being in danger (because my mind connects casual sex with higher chances of possible infidelity)

Need your input on what to do

>>33456114
cut her head off(i am a licensed therapist)

>>33455008 (OP)
I'm just here having a blackpill relapse. I'll be back to lurking later.

>>33456122
t. Therapist graduated summa cum laude from T*lib*n university of J*hadi Isl*m*st*n

>>33455008 (OP)
switched ISPs and discovered that 4chan ranged banned my subnet from uploading photos. gay and retarded.

>>33456077
Aren't you the retarded cunt frfr

When and why did this website become infested with christfags? I miss the old days when everyone here was an atheist and christfags were laughed at.

>>33456155
that message isnt for you faggot

>>33456114
See a therapist for real, don't go fishing for them here.

>>33456192
You're still the cunt

>>33456244
Please stop and I agree, it was not nice. .

I hope you can do this without me, I can't hang on anymore. I love you so much, you can do this. I hope I will not return to earth again.

No more tears.

I have this thing where I keep taking it like it's no big deal until I blow up and act irrationally. I thought I would eventually grow out of it but it's working the opposite. I had things kept from me and still kept going instead of complaining at the right moment, because I always have this thing in the back of my head telling me "don't be annoying". But at some point I see that it's not stopping and the mountain of shit keeps rising and rising, and to put a stop to that, I do blow up, fuck up my words and say things I don't mean. Because I'm not prone to get angry at people, there's some unexpected reactions.
For instance at some bus driver that kept pissing me off, I always acted meek, like I didn't want to have any arguments, but at some point I blew up telling them what was up and they felt genuinely sorry. Or at a family member that tends to think the same way, I'm chill and can take just about anything, until my face and my demeanor changed and they didn't even want to argue anymore, "alright have it your way" it's like I turned them off.
I remember just this once I was in a classroom next to a guy who became increasingly paranoid about the rest of the group, who happened to sit next to me. I became so angry at his bullshit behavior against everyone, that even though he looked like he was about to stab anyone (and he could very easily do, perfect angle to stab my chest) with a tool he was manipulating, I yelled at him and he would just go silent, then fuck off outside. The teacher opened his eyes wide and said something along the lines of "damn, even anon got angry holy shit, he never does".
I wish I could control this better. People think it's a good thing not to easily buckle, but shit accumulates.

I think by simulacras

>>33456295
Work on patience and know the world will never be just, you can't control people - they suck

I'm glad you do martial arts. It suits you. <3

I wonder if you really hate me - I'll never know.

>>33456349
Make civilized the mind, make savage the body

>>33456355
Thank you. I will call you Hopper.

>>33456365
Mr hopper was my father, call me Grass ;)

>>33456370
Hehe

I will. I hope you don't mind me writing to you here, Grass.... and projecting my life on you. It's better than therapy.

>>33456261
You are missed

There is just so much pain. I don't know where to put it, I just cry all day or disassociate.

I feel very demoralized on multiple different fronts. It was an actual humiliation ritual.

>>33456387
<3

I needed to get it all out, dragged everyone into this but I couldn't be at peace otherwise.

>>33456401
How so?

My reputation is gone.. but I wanted it that way. This is not for me. It is for the future.

Does everyone know? Like your family and mine?

the only reason i do drugs is to numb the pain caused by the immeasurable cruelty of women

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72d3Fvcyg8E&list=RD72d3Fvcyg8E&start_radio=1

>>33456452
It's because you were chosen to become so much more. If I had known it was you... things wouldn't have been like this. What a waste of time and energy... no tto mention the state of the mofo world.

R-M-P

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvnYmWpD_T8&list=RDTvnYmWpD_T8&start_radio=1

>>33456409
Lots of retards and bastards.

>>33456500
Yeah, you're exhausted, me too. Not many understand.

i guess being mid af she doesn't get hit on a lot so ofc when i showed the slightest hint of interest she was going to farm it for an ego boost despite lacking mutual interest, but i didn't really give her what she was looking for so now she's just pissed and avoiding me

I just assumed it was the only way to get my message to you. I don't believe it's wrong. I saw the way you looked at me last time I saw you. There is no shame there.

I can't be what anyone wants. All I need is a friend. Why can't I have that? Why does everyone hate me so much when all I do is help other people. I get nothing for myself emotionally.

I understand that you had to keep your masculinity but the way you did this...

Men from single parent homes are hyper masculine

I'm sorry I couldn't be what you want. I don't stalk you online because I don't want to see anything that makes me sad. I hope you understand.

Realized today I spent the last 5 years going in circles. Hopefully I’m out of this trap.

part of me thinks i should have just banged my friend's girl in order to free him from her, but then we wouldn't be friends

>>33455302
Shame. Missing out. Being reminded of sex 24/7 all the time. I've never come close to having sex, ever

I had no idea I was surrounded by spies my entire life. Wow. Not only that you see everything I do... that was hacked too. The russians have it.

The Eyes

The Nazi eyes

>>33456574
Why not just ask her to kill herself if you think she is that evil?

It's weird that you think it's okay to hold someone in captivity, like this.

>>33456531
Dang that sucks.

When I think of your darkside, I see a zombie cop. Your bio father is/was a psychopath. .

You act like you're a teenager, that's what you desire too. Don't touch my kid.

>>33456619
I also don't understand how I couldn't know that this house was a just a farce, like the rest of my life. Nothing is real. I was raised as a sex slave and this place is just an extension of the grooming of kids.

Lay down your ego. I know you raped my brother. I saw it in a dream.

>>33456645
Based diviner

It is an asshole you desire and vaginas disgust you. That's why there was this shitshow.

Despite all of that, I still love you. I know we would murder each other so none of this matters. How I looks etc.

Where's the based men.

>>33456685
Pick me!

He doesn't want me having friends, this is my only social outlet. I am slowly trying to kill myself... with substances. I want it appear natural so people don't know it was a suicide.

>>33456693
Not very based.

She cuts for the same reason, to let the pain out. She is also a slave but she won't be anyone's sex slave. Everything I do is for her.

It was to lead them out of their misery and all you did was contribute to it.

>>33456716
I will do it again.

>>33456704
True, but it was sarcasm. I’m as based as they get (actual based, not cringe rightoid “based”)

You just assumed the very worst of me, all the time. You assumed I did this for me. It was never for me, it was for them, for the future.

You wouldn't understand. There is no way you could ever understand what it's like to be me. You paint me, like I'm evil. Did I sign up for this? Show me the paperwork.

>>33456718
Yeah, you just want to see the world burn, we all know you're the joker. It's getting old.

You're Steven Guilbeault btw

>>33456742
Your good boy larp was boring from the start.

>>33456760
Whatever they did to you, I can't help with.

>>33456764
I'm not asking you for help.

Why did you do this to me?

>>33456760
Stuck on me huh

>>33456773
Of course not, you genuinely think you are God and can do no wrong. That's why you never evolve.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BmYF4dCErg

I miss everyone I've had to leave behind. I am so lonely, and cry often alone, without anyone knowing I ever did. Someday though it will all be worth it, even if I can't understand how. I probably have avoidant personality disorder, and didn't realize it until recently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BmYF4dCErg

Thanks, thanks for doing your job, under my orders.

The EU is wonderful, I am moving to Europa..

I'm a tired dumbass. I got a degree in business administration two years ago and tried out auditing at a big firm but I just couldn't keep up the pace with those people and left. Got a job as an accountant at a small firm that turned out to be a poorly organised mess. Left, somehow got a job as a teacher.
Now I don't know if I should try to obtain my teachers certificate. That would require me to study quite a lot while juggling work at the same time and I am, like a said, a tired dumbass.

They can have everything. I'm going to disappear into the streets on a warmer country. I don't want to be found.

I'm so obsessed with you.

>>33456816
Wow blushing

Thank you for letting me stand on you as a stool, so that I would be able to reach the water. Take care. I hope you become the hero you want to become.

I can't believe you would side with him, over me. I must be terrible.

>>33456832
Sounds apocalyptic

>>33456842
Maybe that's when the apocalypse actually happened and we're in the aftermath.

I wonder why that ended up out there. Must be a reason.

He was never my husband, he was my captor. You both are... but nature blessed us that day with a rainbow, for whatever reason. You were both there.

>>33456845
It was a very beautiful time

I really needed a nap, my body feels better.

>>33456891
Then it turned out to be Twin Peaks. I died a long time ago and I'm just waiting in purgatory.

You're the eyes

I'm the eyeless woman

>>33455082
I know exactly how you feel. I'm living for everyone but myself. I hate that I can't find happiness. I hate how I always do my best to make people happy but are failed by the same people. I've been abondoned by people all my life and only have 2 constants in my life that have been there for me when I needed them most. But they won't be here for me forever. They're getting old and if they die before me I'll be alone and depressed. So maybe I'll kill myself then.

>>33456922
It’s easy to love me now, would you love me if I was down and out?

I don't think most people ever wake. They get raped by a Catholic priest and die of alcoholism or H. We're so different, you and I in many ways. I'm happy that I'll never be raped again.

>>33456934
It's not easy to love you now. I always did love you. I could name the things I remember but might go to your head (I was warned about that)

Guessposters are so fucking annoying and retarded. Hey, genius, you know why you saw that image before and responded to it? I POSTED IT BEFORE! I'm on here every goddamned day! Wouldn't it make more sense that I just posted it again vs some faggot stealing it and larping? Hooooly shit

>>33456929
No, you can't do that. The world needs you. I think my mom will die soon.

Men are not vanishing, they are retreating. From relationships, from institutional demands, from collective obligation. Not by cowardice, nor nihilism, nor weakness - but by sacred refusal to collude with a world that has hollowed out the feminine into parody, and severed eros from its mythic root.
This retreat is not a conscious movement toward soul, for most men have not heard of soul. It is not a deliberate descent into myth, for most don't remember the myths. And yet it happens. Everywhere.
Men retreat not in search of the feminine within but in search of refuge. They turn away from real relationships, work, education, not because they hate women, but because the outer feminine devoid of beauty, of function, of soul has become unrecognizable. And if given a choice between emptiness and the parody, they choose emptiness. They choose nothing rather than violate what remains of their inner integrity.
But it is there, in the void, that the great possibility stirs.
Even if they do not name her, do not know her, have never met her, still within that emptiness, the anima awaits.
She does not need to be reimagined, reengineered, or "updated". She does not ask to be made familiar to the modern psyche. She need only be seen. Once. As she is. In the dark. Without distortion. Without irony. Without demand.

This act of remembering is enough.

Because where culture collapses, myth re-emerges. And where men descend into the silence beneath language, soul prepares its next eruption. The anima was never meant to be found in daylight; she is born in shadow, dwells in dream, and speaks first through absence.
So let it be said: true virtue is born in darkness.
And when men meet her there not as escape, not as fantasy, but as a reawakening they will return. Not as obedient citizens of a broken world, but as bearers of the fire: visionaries, warriors, poets, and builders, not of new systems but of meaningful life.

This is not disappearance, it's gestation.

My ex basically is a cuckquean now because of their poly relationship considering their "partner" said the most emotionally fulfilling sex they had was with someone that wasn't them, behind their back.

I will say that your identity was hidden from me until recently. I don't know why.

I still don't know who you are... out there.

How is he even your friend? You both work for Trump, don't you?

>>33457015
I'm so happy it's all inside of you and you need nothing else now. I can finally leave forever. I'm just tired of being blamed for everything and I'm tired of being followed. If I go to another country, you won't be able to follow me.

I don't know a lot about your life but I do know some things. That you love money (which I don't care about), that your dad is a psychopath. That you are deeply wounded and very abusive. I still feel your fingers jamming into me so hard and being pinned down, helpless. Not being able to escape.

Thank you, /adv/, for making me realize I'm in an abusive relationship. I really thought I deserved this

I deserve to be a captive of psychopaths - having no access to friends, sex, even someone to talk to. Every time he does something for me, goes to work etc, I always praise him. His new haircut, clothes, whatever. I get nothing back. You're a man watching me so you'd never understand what pain is like since you clearly don't feel empathy

We're the same person

https://youtu.be/d3HGEpDfG20

I've never had emotionally fulfilling sex because I was a sex slave.

Today is a sad day. I did what I knew I was gonna have to do eventually. I had to quit the liquor store job I had. I liked my coworkers. I liked feeling valuable. I liked the idea that I could dig myself out of the hole that I'm in. I don't know why the fuck I thought Retail would be the solution.

Even after some coffee, I was just way too fucking tired for the nonsense today. I put heavy-ass boxes of liquor on a dolly, and rolled them around looking for where they go, customers and coworkers bothering me and giving me more shit to do. I went to a shelf where I was supposed to load 12 bottles of vodka. As I load the 11th one, I realize I can't fit the very last one. It is a rule that you are not allowed to stock the shelf if to do so would cause it to be overstuffed and cause "snaking" (product pushing other product out of alignment). This means that I would have had to roll the dolly all the way back to the area with a billion boxes.

This sequence of events happened basically a few times in a row. I just had enough, man. Also, I'm sick of thinking about the karma from the indirect harm I'm causing by shelving and stocking poison. How many unwanted children, drunk driving accidents, battered women, shattered lives are being indirectly caused? I can't keep justifying it. The operation at the store is too inefficient, and the same problems just continue to fester. The workload piles up, and all the caffeine and positive thinking in the world is not gonna fucking fix the fucking shelves, IDIOT! I want to expel all hate from my soul, but I truly do hate Alcohol. Alcohol is fucking poison. I wish the best for all the rest, but as far as my own journey is concerned, every step of the journey is the journey.

>>33457131
I’m in the same boat as you brother, supervising the liquor store is a cold world. Best of luck to you, thanks for the inspiration and the succinct summary. Feels like it was my own soul talking

I realise that people don't treat me as a human being because they don't view me as one.

I want to be left alone forever. I want my freedom.

All you do is take form me, steal my ideas, make money off what I say and do and abuse me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tmd-ClpJxA

>>33457137
You're welcome, fellow Internet enjoyer! If it weren't for the EXTREME inefficiency, and customers thinking I'm the All-Knowing Liquor God that understands the difference between Reposado, Anejo, Blanco... people can't just pick a bottle and drink it, they gotta act like they have refined tastes but yet won't drop more than 20 bucks on a BOTTLE OF TEQUILA LMAO

>>33457205
“Uhhhh yeah I need the REAL tequila, yeah the 100% real agave, oh shit my budget is only 30 bucks”
Who you tryna impress? Yeah, shit is a mind melter.

>>33457210
Oh my GOD that's so accurate!!! You cracked me up and brightened my day, and I hope you and everyone else out there struggling takes care and finds true serenity and purpose.

You won't win this... but have fun trying. Just never come to me for help, it wont be there. I am leaving for europe, alone.

I don't need anything and you've made me feel like I'm better off away from the last few people care. I'm really done. Don't follow me or I will shoot you.

It makes complete sense to me now that the only time he cares is when I'm about to leave.

It's all about the money for them. Money and young pussy. I can't be a part of any this ever again. I need to escape.

Sigh. She's great but she just doesn't really turn me on sexually.

Thats how they made their money, by scamming people and sex trafficking, casinos...

and they think the world is better for it.

You will never be my master.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svWINSRhQU0

>>33457274
Likewise. You aren't hot. Leave me alone.

I tried to masturbate to you and I couldn't.

>>33457289
So fuck off and leave me alone forever. Out of my life forever. Please just fuck off. I don't care about money.

You've become smarter and wiser but not better. I don't like you.

You made your money from raping me, from sex trafficking, from the pics of my little girl naked body. You made money from my words, my ideas but they will get you. All the evidence is out there somewhere.

My evidence:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/r_cZupnuKFk

>gangstalkers arent real durr im in ur walls durr
>neighbor SLAMS door full strength every morning when she leaves, makes sure to arrive home at the same time as me even if I vary my schedule, arrives back within seconds OF ME, and smirks at me as I walk into my front door even when I completely ignore her
Lol? It's kind of pathetic that she wants to be noticed so badly

People make outrageous money milking bulls.

A “straw” of proven bull, sexed semen is 0.25-0.5 mL and costs anywhere from $20-1,100 per straw. Each contains around 20 million sperm and a good breeding bull can produce 40-60 billion sperm a week. So, that’s an average of 2,500 straws a week. A high end bull can easily generate over $2 million a week without taxing them too much.

However, it takes about $174 million and 87 weeks to produce a gallon of high quality bull cum and it tastes like viscous, salty-sweet, musky metal juice and you can’t really make cheese with it. So I wouldn’t recommend it.

She's being self-destructive and suicidal again. I thought she had killed herself the last time she had an episode like this and I didn't hear from her for several days.
I don't even know her that well but she means enough to me that I want her to be ok.

I should stop saying I want to die because I would actually prefer life to get better more than dying. I feel like a weak bitch for posting that I wake up each morning wanting to die.

I got the green light from insurance.

>>33457450
>I wake up each morning wanting to die
You didn't ask, but I'm going to say it anyway: Meds. SSRI antidepressants. They're what helped me. I used to feel like that. I don't anymore. I'm not even on the meds currently. I just needed to take them for a few years to stabilize my neurochemistry and life.
I know meds don't work for everyone, or at least people say they don't, but they worked for me and that's the only advice I have to give.

I have to remind myself every day that I am a valuable person even if I'm the furthest thing from a star nfl quarterback. I'm good, capable, and people like me. I will not kill myself.

>>33455008 (OP)
I don't you think you're God but you're actually Satan. Evil. Mean.Abusive. Psychopathic like your father. You're basically darth vader and every other villain out there.

You hurt my father deeply too, broke his heart. You took his truck and never paid for it, like you said you would. Then didn't come around.

AHHHHH I CAN'T GET A FUCKING JOB I'M GOING INSANE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Bros. If you go to college, don't fuck around like I did. Network and do internships and shit. My ex was right, I'm never going to get a job in my degree field

None of that matters though, does it? Everything about you is better than me, right? Why are you like this? I have nothing left in my to give. You took it all, pissed on it or sold it. Probably child porn pics too.

>>33457522
I don’t want meds, I like my brain functioning as it does. I just need to get a job so I can live in an apartment and leave a lot behind. It’s been difficult letting a lot go aa well as accepting my harsh and twisted reality but it’s what I’ve had to do and I have found success in doing so.

You're always going to hate women and blame women. I still love you, it's impossible not to love you, since this is what we were bred for, but I'm done.

>>33457589
https://youtu.be/gm85fGU6Uo0?si=F39qkR2fyKkjPyDQ

Toxic place

I’m ok. Things are going to be alright.

My mentor has not posted since May and I am worried about them.

i miss you. i'm sorry that i'm some kind of fucked up empty husk with no feelings. all i have is this haunting-like obsession over you. i have nothing else to give you. maybe hugs and some underwhelming blowjobs. i'm sorry that i don't want a family. i'm sorry that i don't really care for anything but you. it's not fair to you. i'm glad i broke up 3 years ago for your sake, but i'm so fucking miserable

>>33455008 (OP)
I realized that I am most likely asexual. I know you all probably think I’m some tumblr tard but I realized that I never had any desire or lust, I never even had a crush. When I kissed I felt nothing, it felt like something I had to do rather than what I wanted. Touching myself does feel good, but I still don’t really want to have sex.

>>33457595
You're all gay. Leave me the fuck alone. All heard was some faggot talking about feminism and evil, I'm done. Go away.

>>33457684
Yeah... because you're dumb and don't understand that's just the MIC

If you follow me, in any form, in any way I will shoot you or tell ALL your secrets.

I'll rip your face off if you hurt my kid. I really will. Fuck the law, you infiltrated that too.

>>33457772
don't ever get in a relationship it'll ruin your life

I can't believe I basically spent all my life researching for you. I can only hope that they get it. We're going full commie now, I guess. There is no resolution now, this will end in nuclear war. I'm going to starve myself and then tattoo the truth all over my body and end my life.

The obesity epidemic has made love not worth it. Frick it.

I don't care about my college degree, getting a job, money, or developing my skills. All I want is to be 15 and bang my girlfriend after school. Nothing else.

>>33455023
Dying is fine. It doesn't sound like she is in a ton of pain, she's just seething and moody. She'll probably chill out towards the end and have moments of clarity. It is beautiful you guys are caring for her during these times. Dying is just every aspect of your self being set to 0 instead of 1. She'll still be here in that sense, just less annoying.

>>33457916
Hah yeah. Eventually you can not want that authentically though. There is an old Twilight Zone about it... in black and white.

>>33456820
You are adorable.

>>33458003
Thanks, y-you too…

Please kill him. There is just no other way to have peace. He is just one person, this is the entire world suffering.

>>33458069
I'll die soon enough, I'm still debating of I should leave this place for a while.

He is behind everything evil in the world. He is almost blood to me. I love him but he has to go. He is literally Satan. I'm obviously leaving now.

If you want to know why everything has gone to hell, it's because of him - sex, money... ripping people off. Its all about profits and never health. He LOVES big pharma. He leaks secrets to the Russians.

>>33458093
Oh, you're talking about Trump. Relax guy...

>>33458093
Keep hating on the man closest to God

>>33458114
Trump?

>>33458110

Trumps right hand man, I'm sure.

>>33458114
You're the furthest thing from God possible. Evil, greedy, hateful. You're responsible for all of corruption out there, all the obesity out there, all the child porn and terrorist attacks. I know you are.

>>33457865
no u wont

>>33458133
Nah, that was a South Park reference of the newest Trump episode. Relax guy...

>>33458136
It's what you want... but I refuse to do it without making a big scene. I will have your name tattooed to my body with instructions to kill. Once I'm gone, they have no use for him anymore.

Oh thank science that she’s out of jail to schizopost 24/7. I love the justice system

>>33458147
That will be my final order.

>>33458151
You no longer exist to me.

>>33458161
Hehe

>>33458166
Relax, guy...

Damn, a sudden and fast feeling of sadness came out of nowhere
Maybe it's my previous trauma bond

>>33458218
Gender holy war...

I live in a big city in Ohio and there are rumors of a fucking restaurant in a tunnel that only serves burgers and cans of coke/beer that is run by 3 homeless men. I've heard the burgers there are better than any other place in town but it's nearly impossible to find. All I know is there is a tunnel near an overpass near the bars, you go in and make 2 rights and you're there. My friend said there were like 20 people eating there last friday night. I want to go but this is the only lead I have and he doesn't remember where the tunnel is exactly.

i wanna die already, life is hard

>>33458247
Do not eat food made by homeless people please.

>>33458247
Explore a little

other guys (and girls?) seem to think i'm swimming in pussy but i haven't been laid in years and i'm cripplingly lonely

I got a loving girlfriend but actively groom 13-16 year old girls on discord to play with their emotions, posing myself as another personality with their interests and lovebombing them. I can't stop hurting them. Nothing sexual occurs nor have my doings resulted in serious harm but it brings me comfort knowing I can alter their brains to forever despise me yet cling onto that personality they lost with me, a love they can't get back from anybody else.

I find myself doing this to be absolutely fucking terrible and I do deserve hell for it but when you've been done the same to years ago as a 15 year old you can not stop trying to make others dependent their life on you

>>33455008 (OP)
What you have done to me is the beyond the worst atrocity I can think of, without a blade. They are going to rip you to bits when they find out. I was programmed to only want you, you are the cruelest person to exist. You took everything from me and I loved you beyond imaginable. I see why they tried to sway me from you, entice me etc. As I was trying to find you, they were trying to sidetrack me so nuclear war wouldn't happen. This is worse than a Nazi concentration camp

>>33458525
Listen nugu, stop doing this shit before it comes back to bite you in your ass
If your life is good then leave it be

>>33458525
> nor have my doings resulted in serious harm
This is just a lie lol

I know it's a matter of time but my second serious crush in my nearly 30 years of Earth leading nowhere really has taken a bigger toll on me than I want to admit.

>>33458542
u are too old to be having a crush

>>33458534
>stop doing this shit before it comes back to bite you in your ass
I've done this for years, it hasn't.

>>33458535
>This is just a lie lol
My bad, altering brain chemistry does harm people forever.

>>33458559
Relax, guy...

I'm so scared to leave my abusive boyfriend. My dad is coming in two days to help me. He asked how many guns and magazines my boyfriend has. He's been so cruel to me. I tried to be a good girlfriend and it was never enough. I feel guilty leaving him but I can't take the beatings anymore.

it's over.

>>33458572
That is what you are hoping for, to harm the masses. I know you well.

So moving on, now that I've found you, I would've only wanted a friendship, anyhow. Now I want nothing at all.

You don't know what you did -- did to me
Your body language -- speaks to me...

>>33458599
Yes, it's over. You can celebrate now.

>>33458604
what does it say?

>>33458589
Rest up and seek therapy afterwards
When you're out of physical danger you'll still have to deal with the emotional pain that relationship has brought you

>>33458605
i will celebrate in regrets.

>>33458610
I like this, like this, maybe from you...

>>33458572
Yes, but imagine if one day you're a politician and they drag this story up
It'll ruin your political career

>>33458612
Thank you. I'm realizing that a lot of my friends didn't hate me like he said they did. I've been so alone for so long, he doesn't let me leave unless for work. I feel so bad for not tlaking to people who cared about me. I don't know if they'll forgive me.

>>33458589
I've have mental beatings but I'll come back, one day. That part isn't my job. It is everybody else's job to clean up the mess. I've earned my stripes.

>>33458623
nta but lol

Surely you know about his org

>>33458640
Go to a woman's shelter btw.