i wanna die, i'm so tired i don't wanna do anything at all rn i woke up an hour ago and i wanna go back to sleep this sucks

It is a worthy battle to fight. Winning is worth it, but of course it isnt easy and it takes much time and effort. The smallest contribution of either makes all the difference. 10 and 10,000 steps are both the same.

>>935645955 (OP)
Just go back to sleep

>>935645955 (OP)
Post bussy become the brain dead slut you want to be,be our toy anon it's what you deserve,you don't need sleep.you need to wake up.

>>935647672
done it many times before but i'm too tired and depressed to even post bussy anymore.

>>935647720
Then just end it all ffs ,that was your only worth here

>>935647748
probably should

>>935645955 (OP)
Fr if you need someone to talk to drop a disc, I'll keep you company and listen

>>935647854
idk venting only makes it worse. also i'm scared of being judged. but thank you for the offer.

>>935645955 (OP)
Fuck you LARPfag.

Anyways i would suck that boys fuckin feets all night long

>>935647937
what? that person isn't a boy.

>>935647902
Oh hey, venting makes it worse for me too. Suicide hotlines were a bummer. Here was me thinking they’re trained individuals with some high wisdom that’ll suddenly make life seem worth living, but instead they’re some volunteers who are just there to listen a feign interest.

My guy asked where my happiness was on a scale of 10, and said he was personally a five. Even if he had something to say, I’m not fucking interested in what a 5 says.

>>935648202
kek never called a hotline myself but that's how i imagine it would go.

>>935645955 (OP)
Do you have anybody you care about to talk to? Doesn't even have to be abt your suicidal thoughts but I find that talking to people that I consider close to me helps me a lot.

>>935648829
not at this moment no, everybody is currently asleep here. and usually i don't have anybody i care to talk to anyway, except for one person that i get to talk to a few times a week.

>>935648942
I feel that, only one person I really care for but they don't reciprocate it as much so it hurts when they don't respond or aren't able to talk and stuff. What country are you from if you don't mind me askin? Or just part of the world or smth doesn't have to be too much, just curious.

>>935648942
I got up at 130am, and am still up at 9am because I can't get to sleep

>>935649201
yep same as me, sorry about that. i'll just say europe.
>>935649203
yeah i have those nights every once in a while too, sucks pretty bad.

>>935649432
Ah it's fine but thank you, I guess I put myself in this position because I suck at making new friends or haven't really tried maybe idk. I'm from the States but ik some people from Europe. Anything that's stuck in your mind preventing sleep? Or if you wanna talk abt anything at all to pass time and stuff I'm here.

>>935649722
oh no i'm not struggling to sleep, i just have a horrible schedule. i woke up at like 9 pm. if anything i sleep way too much lately because i don't really have anything i wanna stay awake for.

>>935645955 (OP)
do you mind showing more of your sexy feet

>>935649786
Oh yea brutal schedule mines rough too but not as much. You don't have stuff you wanna do while awake like games or anime/tv?
Any media in general you enjoy? Seems like you're depressed and it's killing you motivation if I had to guess.

>>935645955 (OP)
Wanna talk in disc or anywhere else?

>>935645955 (OP)
I know the feeling. Wash your face, maybe get a hot shower. Eat something or at least take a vitamin. If you're like me, get some coffee. For alot of us the key to fighting depression is a biochemical matter. Maybe your body is missing something simple like Potassium, Vitamin D, or look at your fingernails. If they have spots, it's a Zinc defficiency.

>>935649828
>>935649880
i'm a guy and i'm not the person in the picture.
>>935649872
usually i'll get hooked on a game or something and i can keep myself occupied with that for a few weeks but the moment it's over i instantly go back to this. like they're managing to distract me but the depression is still there, it's been like this for maybe a year now i think.

>>935649786
I've been there so many times, it's okay to feel like this. You have to, at all times, keep in mind that no matter what you may think at this moment, there are people out there to whom your existence gives meaning.
So treat yourself like a God, light the best candles you have and treat yourself like a royalty, because that's exactly what you are. Shine bright, always, never forget you're a star in someone else's sky.

Anyway here's a video of my cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Fp8OTlCYU

>>935650036
Did something happen that caused it back then? If you lack people to talk to like me then maybe it's not sharing connections with other people causing you to feel like you're alone in all of this because like I said I feel horrible when I have nobody to talk to and consider cutting.
Which games did you get hooked on or if you have fav games then which are those? I really got hooked on Apex for a bit but def not a fav lol.

>>935645955 (OP)
start exercising and eating only meat and vegetables. preferably something barefoot because you have nice grippers

>>935650006
i know i'm probably deficient in my vitamins. i wanna get a blood test at one point but haven't got around to it yet.
>>935650052
love you anon thanks <3
>>935650289
honestly i'm not sure what caused it, i don't think there was a single big reason. around the time it started i've had a small period where i had a lot of panic attacks, i'm thinking those might've had something to do with it. about the games, for the past week or so i was playing minecraft in this server but got bored of that too few days ago. before that i was playing a lot of path of exile 2. i don't really have a favorite, i play a lot of different games.
>>935650445
those aren't my grippers... but i do have nice ones as well. i used to exercise and eat pretty well but let go of all that like couple months ago. really should go back.

>>935650718
You don't need some habeeb in a coat fapping to a test tube full of your blood to know what to do. Whatever tastes best, is probably full of whatever bitamins/nutrients you're missing.

Do I have your attention, or are you playing hard to get? aina0.107

>>935650832
>Whatever tastes best, is probably full of whatever bitamins/nutrients you're missing.
pizza and chocolate and redbull?

>>935650920
Everybody's biology is different. That may very well be what your body needs to nominalize its biomechanical workings.

>>935650718
I see tbf Minecraft can get pretty boring but POE2 was fun for the bit I played it. Could need anti depressants if it's been this long.
Ever seen someone for mental stuff? Psychologists/Therapist? I haven't myself but when it comes to having zero motivation to do things that usually lasts a week or so for me. Sorry that I'm hyper-focusing on the friends thing a bit, just something on my mind currently.

>>935650920
Pizza - your in caloric deficit, your body uses up more than you eat.
Chocolate - your deficit in magnesium
red bull - your deficit in B-complex vitamins.

You're gonna make it, you beautiful soul. Just eat better.

Anyway here's a video of my cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Fp8OTlCYU

>>935651074
>>935651130
i guess might be true. also cute cat :3
>>935651105
i haven't seen anybody for it, i wanted to see a psychiatrist like 5 months ago but i just keep delaying it. there are so many things that i wanna do and i keep saying i'll do it soon and never do. some of this stuff would take me like 10 minutes. seeing a psychiatrist would take like a few hours, but i just never get around to it.

>>935651408
I feel that tbh I don't even get around to getting a hair cut and end up cutting it myself. Saw you said pic wasn't you n stuff so not trying to be weird but if you wanna add me on smth we could chat more. Up to you cause I don't mind, just feels harder to connect with people through an anon board. If not it's fine cause I'll still be here to chat till this thread dies.

>>935651795
i'm kinda more comfortable just talking here, i don't like adding people idk i get too anxious trying to talk to people and hold a conversation and whatever. sorry hope that's okay.

>>935651928
I didn't mean like vc or anything lol I get anxious af when it comes to that too n heart will start going fast first time vcing people.
I just thought it'd be easier to respond and stuff on smth like disc but yea it's fine :) not tryin to force you to or smth.
You trying to be active at all right now? Like doing other stuff while awake? Currently I'm studying JP and some other stuff while responding.

>>935651928
No that's really not okay,I thought we had something special you whore

>>935652094
You do have something special, just stop thinking with your cock and take it slow with her. Don't give up, anon.

Anyway here's a video of my cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Fp8OTlCYU

>>935652062
oh yeah i know i meant even texting. i have anxiety problems idk. i'm not really doing anything rn, trying to find something to do.

>>935652598
Make your bed, clean your room, do light stretching, drink a bottle of water. This is the beginning of a wonderful day, anon.

Anyway here's a video of my cat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Fp8OTlCYU

>>935652598
yea it's fine dw
least you're actively trying to find something to do then. If gaming isn't grabbing you attention rn then maybe watch something or if you've got other hobbies like drawing and such
if not then maybe you can pick something else up to help you keep busy a bit? can help you keep your mind off of depressive thoughts.

>>935652640
okay i'll clean up the room a bit
>>935652854
i do want to draw but i can't for some reason. i don't know what to draw. idk i don't even enjoy drawing that much, but i wanna learn it. but yeah i can't get myself to start drawing something.

>>935652974
hm I suck at drawing so can't rlly help lol but it's good that you have more interests at least maybe watching a video on it or if you know anybody that's good at it talk to them abt drawing and getting started. Idk just throwing stuff out there

also before this thread gets killed I'll post a discord alt account I have in case you change your mind, it's just flandre.jp
not gonna post my main on here ofc but can prove that it's me and can add main after if you do add. can also check archive after if you decide later on or smth. no pressure of course just leaving it there if you change your mind before this thread is deleted.

>>935653468
linked to a site on accident oops didn't even know that was a thing.

>>935653468
yeah i could add you, but i'm a bit confused, is there a reason why you really wanna add me? just looking for a friend?

>>935653701
Mhm basically ya also seemed kinda similar when talking abt friends earlier and not having much people to talk to n stuff, don't sweat it tho just leaving it there for you if you feel like it.

>>935653765
i see. idk i don't really feel like it sorry. and you'd be disappointed anyway, i'm a pretty boring person and haven't managed to keep a single relationship going for more than a few months in my life, except for one i guess. so yeah don't worry you would just be wasting your time with me. love u hope it doesn't upset you.

>>935654090
If you don't feel like it then that's fine but I doubt you're as boring as you say. If I thought I was wasting my time I wouldn't be here at all lol you've managed to keep a convo with a stranger for this long so prob wouldn't be too hard and I'm pretty chatty. I'm not upset but try no to think so poorly of yourself I'm sure you're a great person! :3

>>935654199
thank you i appreciate that anon <3

>>935655232
It's no problem :) I'm gonna be playin vidya in a sec so won't be as active in this thread but I hope you're feeling better than earlier and remember you are cared about and if by nobody else than by me at least!
If you ever change your mind feel free to add me and we can talk sometime. Hope I was of some help to you <3 stay safe and love ya

>>935645955 (OP)
What's goin on?

>>935645955 (OP)
If I had a bitcoin for every time a cowardly anon said they wanted to die, but didnt have it in them to do it

>>935655533
uh, what would happen?

>>935655494
depression

>>935655638
Well I can tell that much, but is there a reason for it? Any triggers lately, anything particularly happen to bring it up again?

>>935655755
not really recently, but i had lots of triggers some months ago, like 5 or so, i think those might've caused it.

>>935655834
Well what happened then? Why did those things make you feel this way now? What's causing you to linger on them?

>>935655919
i don't think i still care about those now, it's just that they upset me for just long enough for everything to go downhill, like i stopped working out, messed up my sleep schedule, started eating like shit, gave up on a few hobbies i was doing consistently, it all just spiral out of control and now it's like impossible for me not to be depressed.

>>935656079
Well all it takes is one step to start to pull yourself out. What is holding you back from doing those things? Fear? Regret? Shame? Anger?

>>935656203
idk, a lack of will to do so i guess.

>>935656296
What would it take for you to get back in the saddle? Do you have any friends who can help you

>>935656318
not really no.

>>935656403
What usually helps to motivate you

>>935656549
horniness i guess? most effort i ever put into anything was to try to look nice to post pictures online.

>>935645955 (OP)
Go back to sleep (if you have nothing else to do), jerk off or read a book (especially non-fiction).

>>935656794
jerking off and sleeping is pretty much all i'm doing anyway. and i can't read books because adhd

>>935648202
They have thrown people into cells, and then medicated them before (or after) taking their money (~$500).

>>935656836
>adhd
Try ritalin, vyvanse..etc (whatever works!).

>>935656994
yeah i do wanna get diagnosed and try ritalin but i keep delaying it

>>935657085
>yeah i do wanna get diagnosed
>not diagnosed
There are a ton of differential diagnoses for ADHD: You might just be depressed or have anxiety --> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd#Differential_diagnosis

>>935657228
ADHD;*

>>935657228
i'm pretty sure i have it, i researched it a lot, i have like every single symptom.

>>935657415
>i have like every single symptom.
I'm sorry, but it could be a laundry list of other disorders that emit the same symptoms (or similar)

>>935657684
i mean it's possible, but i'm more likely to have it than not pretty sure. and if i have something else i would just get whatever medication i need for that.

>>935657751
>if i have something else i would just get whatever medication i need for that.
Definitely, but I would avoid saying it's ADHD outright (you should probably just say "attention issues/low conscientiousness").

>>935658128
do you mean i should avoid saying it to the psychiatrist? or to others? why?

>>935658201
>to the psychiatrist? or to others?
I meant "others", but I'm not entirely sure if you should mention that you think you have ADHD; they MAY not take it as seriously (There is significant malingering in psychiatry).