Soooo based dude

>>935902216 (OP)
speaking of getting pussy:

on January 8th 1993
(January 8th = Elvis's birthday)
I was invited to a small private event at Graceland, commemorating the release of the 1993 Elvis US postage stamp

It was a bunch of Graceland Insiders and music industry people....

.............. and ME

hahahaha!!........
(I was invited because Todd Morgan knew what a huge diehard fan I am)

A friend of mine found this photograph a few days ago. I haven't seen it since 1993

I loved that particular jacket. It was always one of my favorites. A German flat denim motorcycle jacket. It was loaded with hidden compartments and pockets and zippers everywhere.

I adjusted contrast and tried to clean up the picture a little bit, because the actual photographic paper had been damaged over the years...

But this was me. 32 years ago. at Graceland, drinking coffee and trying to avoid all the squares

lol

here's the unretouched photo. Like I said, it's sustained a little bit of scratching to the photographic paper over the years. I don't know how it ended up at my friend's house.

But this picture laid dormant for 32 years at my buddy's house, long forgotten....

and YES............

I was wearing an ascot

It's Groundlog Day!!

everybody knows when I was 32, I married a 16-year-old girl...

..... what they don't know is

she was actually 15

she was like my Priscilla............

of course I was going to marry a teenage girl.. DUUHHHH

I am farting so hard right now.

Priscilla was only 14 when Elvis flew her from Germany to Graceland, with her father's permission.

I also got permission from the father

everything was on the up and up

>>935902216 (OP)
now THAT'S a log.

>>935902216 (OP)
That log looks like it could use some moisture on it.

And some of Andy Sixx's faeces.

>>935904610
>>935904699

I hired a team of experts, and after hundreds of focus groups, the results are finally in.

It turns out that 4chan is full of people who are needlessly over concerned with their anonymity

(It's not like they're anybody important, so what makes something anybody wants there information?)

these losers allow life to pass them by while they sit in a chair staring at an LED screen... But they're worried somebody's going to try to find out where they live?

....... So.. That means they wouldn't want to give out their address, so I couldn't possibly send them an actual hard copy plastic fan club membership card...

So instead of selling memberships to the fan club for $10 (which I intended on donating directly to animal rights groups)
I've decided please nice young fellows in the gaming chairs can actually EARN SOMETHING For the first time in their fucking lives

So instead of selling memberships for $10 a piece, I'm going to let them EARN A FREE MEMBERSHIP... by donating TWENTY DOLLARS to any charitable organization that helps animals

If they can show me they have sacrificed $20 to help animals, I will SUPPLY THEM A DIGITAL COPY OF AN OFFICIAL MEMBERSHIP CARD

And they can go to any FedEx office (formerly Kinkos) and have the membership card printed onto actual hard plastic... A keepsake... A collector's item... a cherished Oracle...

I don't care how much you might like log fag, because if you want to be considered a member of the OFFICIAL FANCLUB™ You've got to get approved by ME first.

(logfag is NOT affiliated with his official fan club. I won't even allow him to become a member)

So in the next few upcoming months, expect to be somewhat bothered by my fan club advertisements

because if I can get even ONE of you weirdos to pitch $20 towards helping innocent animals?

It will be worth it

>>935906586
THEIR*

One of these days I'm going to start proofreading

But don't hold your fucking breath

Even a receipt for at least $20 worth of animal food will suffice as far as I'm concerned

But I must admit... after paying for the focus groups, I was somewhat disappointed I wouldn't be able to mail people the fun gifts, like the "log fag mystery scratch and sniff box"

It's a real shame

>>935902216 (OP)
You don't need to make any more of these stupid faggot threads fat ass

>>935906586
Where to send money? Receipt?

>>935906586
Done!
Now gimme my membership

>>935907212
>>935906586
You better not be lying!

>>935906642
See
>>935907212

>>935906586
LIAR!!

>>935902216 (OP)
it's more like a weird fascination and not entirely based on reason, i guess

>>935907212
The Log Tax! The Log Tax!
You got to pay the Log tax every time you're slidding
When the Andy's Ass opens this logbro comes sucking
The rules are the rules and he opens up his crack
But when the bunghole opens, you gotta suck his rope in!

>>935906586
What do you think of your hot piece of ass daughter sitting on my big erect cock?

*plop*