Virgin here. Turning 40 soon. Is sex all it's cracked up to be? Is it worth it to keep trying?

>>935912734 (OP)
Nah

It's not the act of sex that matters, what matters is that you are able to have a conversation with a girl and have her like you enough to have sex. If you can't do that then it shows major flaws in you as a person. It's like a person who can't keep a job. It shows that the guy is obviously a loser with room temperature IQ and a failure of a human.

>>935913774
I can keep a job though. And make good money. I'll probably retire in the next few years. But I haven't figured out how to make women want to be with me.

>>935912734 (OP)
no.
no.

>>935914238
I'm just giving an example. If you met someone who said they had problems keeping a job, then you'd assume they have bad character traits that will hold them back in life. If you're a virgin, then you also have bad character traits holding you back, shyness being the major obvious one.

>>935912734 (OP)
yes. getting laid feels good and helps build confidence. stop being a faggot and go get some.

>>935914453
I don't get it though. If I'm too assertive, I'm a creep. If I'm not assertive enough, I'm a loser. Women probably think I'm both. fml

>>935912734 (OP)
Early 30s guy here, also struggling with same issue

>>935914562
do you eat your pizza crust? do you want to eat your pizza crust?

>>935914688
Hmm? Not sure exactly how that's relevant, but I eat some pizza crust, and throw some of it away.

>>935914687
Please fix yourself before you become me. I didn't think I'd actually get here, and yet here I am.

>>935914757
Doing my best anon. Working out 3x a week, going on 5-10km walks, stable job, higiene never failing, blonde, tall, green eyes...

Meeting them and strucking a conversation is my problem... I have no idea wtf to do and no subject to talk about

>>935914882
If all this is true, I'm not sure you're the problem. Women have ridiculous standards these days.

>>935914562
maybe try lowering your standards?

Sex for the sake of sex is... fine. I can think of a lot of worse things to do.

Sex when you're in a relationship with another person who's into you and not too uptight to fuck around and find out is really, really good.

>>935912734 (OP)
Sex is absolutely overrated, but of course it feels good.
You know what's underrated?
Handjobs. Another person jerking you off tops 9/10 actual dick-inside-pussy experiences.

>>935915125
I still think I am, I don't have problem making small talk or having in depth conversations with people in general but I can't interact with women anywhere even if my life depended on it. I just don't know where to go and wtf to do. Clubbing is expensive and not worth alone so I feel adrift

>>935914726
do you make choices because you want or because you have been told...
pizza crust is obviously less than pizza, children get grief for not eating it. i think of it like the other side of the starving kids in africa colloquialism.
inb4 I lost the game

>>935915195
I don't really have standards. Men in my position can't afford that. I was on dating apps for years. I'd literally go on a date with anyone who'd say yes to a date. Still couldn't make it past a second date though.
>>935915458
Are we really getting all philosophical about pizza crust? I'm a reasonably well off white male murrican. I eat food I want to. If I don't want it, I throw it away.

>>935912734 (OP)
Making love is sooooo much better then sex. Anyone can go fuck some slut, a flesh light, an asshole, some strange etc. But if you are in love with a woman and your both loyal the sex is next level awesome.

I know some "chads" who have fucked hundreds of women. 1 is a doctor other was a former MMA fighter. Nothing satisfy them. They constantly cheat on their partners. Its weird they dont understand how I can be happy with 1 woman long term (20+ years). I explained to them the STDs, pregnancy scares, dealing with shit women, having to play the game, and in the end getting a good or bad fuck sounds miserable.

>>935914453
>If you're a virgin, then you also have bad character traits holding you back

Or, all women on this side of the planet are totally worthless.
Why waste time on them?

>>935915836
"making love" sounds amazing, but beggars can't be chooses. I'd settle for anything. So far, nothing has come along.

>>935915458
>pizza crust is obviously less than pizza

nah man, in some cases the crust is at least as good as the rest of the pizza

>>935916291
stop looking focus on good diet, exercise and money. If you are happy alone, a man you will attract women. Even if you are mid to low appearance wise. Confidence goes a long ways. Once you have money you could get an escort. But be very careful catching feelings.

>>935912734 (OP)
Like what she is walking on, it's like a bag of sand.

>>935916345
My net worth is around 2 million. Is that a lot? Not really these days, but it's more than the vast majority of men have. Doesn't matter. Women don't give a shit.
I don't want to get an "escort" aka hooker. I'd rather stay a virgin.

>>935912734 (OP)
I've blown so many loads to her sets

Anyways, sex can be incredible but once it's over, that's it. It's not gonna make your day or your life better, it's a very temporary high. People think that it will be this monumental ball exploding sensation that changes your life. Nah. Sex vs fapping each have their own pros and cons.

Honestly I would have sex with an escort just so you can see it's not that big a deal.

>>935916418
>My net worth is around 2 million
No it isn't.

>>935915353
I dunno why everyone says clubbing is expensive. If you're a cheapskate you can just jump into any bar or club and maybe at most buy 3-4 beers for yourself and sip them all night long. Women usually buy drinks for themselves but you could buy 1 or 2 for them. Sometimes I think those who say going out is expensive are either losers using that as an excuse or neets who cant even afford one beer

>>935916471
How does it compare to drugs? I've done plenty of drugs, and they're relatively easy to come by. Maybe I should just go back to that?
>>935916528
Why would I lie to you? I've worked hard my whole life, and I'm 39. Just because you're poor doesn't mean everyone is.

>>935916418
Dont believe this at all and is more then likely AI bot. Plus you didnt address health, fitness, and confidence etc. You got money and only attract women who want money you only get women who are only interested in money. Its a vicious cycle.

>>935915314
only those who have an active and healthy sex life say this and want to console people who can't. don't be unfair

>>935916621
Fuck AI. I plan to retire before it takes over. Yes, I have money. Health, fitness, and confidence are fairly low at this moment though. However, I have been pretty fit before. I used to do a lot of outdoor activities like hiking, biking, skiing. Still do to some extent, but I'm definitely out of shape compared to what I used to do.
Fitness didn't help either though, if that's what you're wondering.

>>935912734 (OP)
Not at 40, no.

>>935916837
I'm 39 though. Still got a few months.

>>935916471
That's the only picture I have of her. If you're got more, post em!

>>935916751
I'm genuinely not trying to be an asshole. Sex IS overrated but it is good, and sometimes amazing, but most of the time it's an awkward experience of smoshing bodies together in an attempt to get off.
Getting a nice, spit-in-hand handjob by a good looking girl who knows how to dirty talk a bit is oftentimes way more enjoyable than most of the:
>could you move a bit further this way?
because her vagina hair is causing rugburn on your shaft

>>935917292
It's amazing humans made it this far. So much easier to just jerk yourself off and call it a day. Good thing our ancestors went through the trouble of fucking a real flesh and blood woman.

Sex is the best thing ever. But you have to be fit. And I don't mean gym fit. I mean you make SF selection look like kindergarten. You run all night ever night. Box with water bottles. Situps, pushups every spare second. You sneak around for fun and training.

When you're the best sex is the best way to prove it. You get it for giving a girl a good time. And for being awesome in general.

You shouldn't want sex untill you can do a great job of it. Need to be doing all the important stuff first. Being in the world. Being independent. Building yourself up. Enjoying what is out there, trying to be as good, have some means of making something up to scratch or better.

Sex then doesn't overpower the rest as much. It's pretty great, and it'll take decades to get over if you stop getting it with who gave it good to you.

Should only be with who you like. Who you think looks best.

It's powerful, can easily hijack your life. It's about getting girls off. Being thought of and talked about like you're a god. Need to be more eager and last longer than them. It's a miserable experience to do a bad job. Need to be able to control yourself, slow down or stop when close. You getting off is an afterthought. After she's well and truly fucked.

It's not going to be anything if you aren't. Especially physically.

>>935918183
That's the problem. I'm not fit. And lack of sex is reducing my drive to remain fit, so it's a vicious cycle. I don't even think I'd want a woman to see me naked at this point. So fitness has to come first, but the drive for fitness is reduced to near zero if you never have a sexual partner.

>>935913774
>It's not the act of sex that matters-
Sex is foundational.
The quickest way to get a girl stuck on you is fucking her and fucking her well. Bar none.

>- what matters is that you are able to have a conversation with a girl-
It is true insofar that you have to communicate in such a way, but you lack so much specificity that you might as well be telling a guy that the way they get a career is by writing some shit down on a piece of paper. What do they write? How do they write it? How do they get that page to the person it needs to get to?

>- and have her like you enough to have sex.
Again... lack of specificity.
There are a lot of guys who're going to read your shit and think, "Oh, just talk to her and get her to like me. Easy enough," and their destination is straight into the friendzone.

>If you can't do that then it shows major flaws in you as a person.
Well about that: Sociopaths and psychopaths can pull tail. I'd say those are major flaws they have as people, I think most would agree. So, again, total lack of specificity.

>It shows that the guy is obviously a loser with room temperature IQ and a failure of a human.
And yet there is some druggie who is living with their parents banging the brains out of a chick now out there as we speak.

If you're going to sit there and pretend to be a fisherman? Let's hear how you actually cast a line out, what you bait the hook with, and how you actually land the fucking fish.

>>935918319
Don't listen to this guy. Sex is overrated, most women just lay there like a they're in a coma and expect you to do all the work.

If you are lonely, that's another issue. Some women can be fun to hang out with. Spend time with them, but don't try to fuck them,

Keep your $2M for yourself, don't let anyone get their hands on it

>>935914453
>If you met someone who said they had problems keeping a job, then you'd assume they have bad character traits that will hold them back in life.
You're a dude. You're assuming women are dudes with tits and a vagina. They're not. Women will throw their entire marriages away with a guy who is gainfully employed with a 6 figure income to shack up with Chad the pizza delivery dude.

>If you're a virgin, then you also have bad character traits holding you back-
... no. Not necessarily. There is such a thing as technique, and if nobody ever teaches you? Well then you get to 50, have a small business, could've retired early, didn't... and the whole "wife and kids" thing just never materialized... be a great guy, well liked in the community... just an all 'round good dude.

>- shyness being the major obvious one.
That might be a factor. Sure.

So far you've touched on one single thing that might be a problem. One bit of specificity.

>>935912734 (OP)
>Virgin here. Turning 40 soon.
>Turning 40
OP, at this point for you, I'd say life isn't what it's cracked up to be
I'm going to give you a 0/10
Thanks for playing and better luck next time

>>935918319
Get a treadmill. Make a rule for yourself that you have to be on it to play games, or watch movies.

Running is the main thing that makes you fit.

Get some running shoes. Walk.
Eat protein powder mixed with chocolate almond milk and cashews/peanuts. Like icecream. Eat peas, gravy and cheese makes them taste better if pepper and margarine isn't enough.

Take vitamins. Zinc, C and multivitamins.

Push yourself. Don't worry about doing it too hard. You can't. The harder the better.

The longer the better too.
Walking and running outside is better but a treadmill is convenient and you can get on and off, zone out while doing it. Watch and play stuff. Could do it while browsing.

Like a job kind. Of thing. You just do it. You have to so you do. Don't bother without watching or playing something. You need to go for a long while you aren't paying attention to.

Anything helps. Fitness will help aggression so you attack it. Hate your lack of fitness. Or whatever. Make the challenge of giving up something to fight. Talking shit now. But fat is bad. Muscle gets rid of it. Starvation doesn't.

Need to get rid of low standards in your head. Don't be around people who exert them. At least irl. Expect the impossible as your normal. You can do more than what is presented as usual. Do it hard then relax. Good system, earn a break. Take note of the calories the treadmill says you spent. Bullshit number but one you can tally. Try to do enough some fuckhead would call unhealthy. Seems a lot of people get off on making others fail, and in lowering standards. Don't give them authority or respect. Do it as hard as you can.

>>935918730
Even without sex, I enjoy female companionship, but that's also fallen to the wayside due to depression. But that's another story.
I totally hear you about keeping money to myself. I've heard so many cases of marriages ruining men's lives due to the "halvsies in divorce" rules. If I ever got married, I'd worry about that too. But I'd have to find a girlfriend first before getting married, and so far that hasn't happened.
Money doesn't buy happiness though. At best it means I can retire soon. Maybe I'll be able to spend more time enjoying life by myself, but again, I'd be by myself.

>>935916886
You're not going to find anything better than whatever you're already doing to yourself. Just keep doing whatever that is.
Post pics.

>>935918884
Anon, running is the hardest fucking thing in the world... I can hike. I can bike. I can ski. But I can only run for a minute or two before I can't take it anymore. I don't know how runners do it. They make it seem so easy. But my body can't seem to handle it.

>>935918897
Talk to a psychologist about your depression. Lack of sex does not cause it, but loneliness can. Regular social contact with women is important for male mental health for some reason.

>>935918859
>turning 40
it happens to the best of us anon. Maybe you've had sex before that. Good on you. But we all die eventually.

>>935918319
31 year old here. Being fit is better than sex. Being healthy is better than sex. Sex is good if it is with someone you really love who you intend to build a lifelong relationship with, because it is deeply meaningful. But it is a fuck ton of work and if you aren't fit, it's less fun.

I would advise you to get over your hangup about the fact that you haven't had sex yet and spend more time figuring out what you want from life, what your mission is. And treating your body and soul with self care. If you feel that mission is to get married and have kids or something like that, I think you need to evaluate your relationship with self first anyway, but based on the fact that you asked about sex and not marriage I'm guessing you are more interested in pleasure instead.

Pleasure is great, but be careful that you are not falling into the trap of hedonism. You might lose out on a lot if you live your life that way.

>>935919073
I'm in treatment, and taking medication. Maybe it's helping, or maybe not. I guess time will tell. But I totally agree that social contact with women is important for mental health. Maybe some day I'll get back there.
>>935919140
I wish it were that easy anon. I spent decades saying "oh, sex doesn't matter, just work on you". That's how I got to where I am today. The unbelievable virgin loser millionaire. I've wasted my life focusing on career because I somehow convinced myself that a relationship could come later, but it never did. Now I'm here still posting on 4chan at 39. I should be raising a family or something. fml

>>935919365
You need to take responsibility for your decisions. No one forced you to do anything. You sound like a whiny little girl. You're 40 years old now. If you want a different life, do something different.

>>935919365
Is raising a family your ultimate goal? Is that what you want, or are you telling yourself that is what you want because society says that's what you should want? Make no mistake. Hollywood lies to you with the happy ever after bullshit. Is having a wife great? Yeah, a lot of the time. It's also a shit ton of work and sacrifice. I can't just buy a plane ticket and go to some random fucking place anymore. Hell I can't even decide to stay in and play video games on a Tuesday night anymore. Point being, relationships are a fuck ton of work. That isn't to say they aren't worth the work. They are, if you understand what they are really about (intimacy and commitment) and are willing to pay the cost to get it (sacrifice).

Point being, you need to decide what the fuck it is YOU want. Not what anon tells you that you want. Not what your mom tells you. Not what the movies tell you. Search your soul, anon. Take a long hot bath, no phone, and think about this shit. What would an awesome life look like?

Want to become a diplomat and see the world?

Want to be a spy?

CEO?

Want to sale all your shit and buy a sailboat and travel?

Want to get married and have kids?

Whatever it fucking is, name it. Write it down. Don't fucking forget it. Ingrain it in your soul.

And then do the work, motherfucker. You don't get anything without sacrifice.

>>935919548
Yeah, you're right. I'm trying to improve things now. I'm a long ways from being comfortable dating again, but at least making some progress in improving my life. Hopefully one day I'll be able to cross that bridge.
>>935919653
That's a good point anon, and the hard part is I don't really know what I want. I haven't been happy for decades. So I don't have the slightest clue what a good life looks like. All I've got are what I've seen from the outside of other people who appear to be happy.

>>935919741
I have faith in you, my friend. I really, really do.

It only takes an hour to start piecing it together.

If I may make a recommendation, try Jordan Peterson's Future Authoring Program.

Enjoy the warm tub / shower and good luck. If you're ready to stop making excuses, history starts now.

>>93591488
>>935912734 (OP)
Become a bouncer on the weekends. Forces you to talk to women and gives you something to talk about mainly work and the bar... Worked for me gave me the confidence to talk to women and I'm married with two kids now.

>>935919853
Jordan Peterson is an interesting dude. I'm reading 12 rules for life right now. I don't agree with everything he says, but he's clearly intelligent. I try to expand my horizons where possible.

>>935919981
Hah, interesting idea, but I'm not remotely intimidating. I don't think I could cut it as a bouncer.

>>935919365
That's maybe the sole source of your problem.

Shrinks are scum. Psychology is the most degenerate thing in the world. Don't take drugs.

Get rid of whatever those wimps take as normal. Get on a fucking treadmill. You don't need to run. Just walk while watching stuff. It's not a big difference between sitting/laying while watching and walking while watching.

Fitness is the only thing that will fix you. The drugs shrinks give are designed to destroy brains. They will make you tired. And the effect of them may last after you're not drugged anymore. Life fucked. And the struggle to be superman even harder.

They are enemy. They are not your friend. They are not on your side. They don't even count as human. Do your best to distinguiah yourself from them. No confusion between you and them. You have standards. You like things. You have an imagination and identity, individuality. You have not submitted to a system. You don't go along with wrong. You will be attacked for that. Get strong.

Those scum will say nothing matters. Things pointless.

Good comes from good.
You do ANY amount of good, it counts a lot. It can then be taken as what all do, what man is capable of. Goes around the world. Gets back. Gets predicted and expected. Done in unison. Good to deserve things. Try to.

>>935920048
Bouncers don't have to be scary. Your not looking to fight that's for the meatheads your looking to talk to people and make sure they have a good time.

Your stuck in your comfort zone if you want change you need to brave change

Work for a older crowd country bar (less fights less kids)

>>935912734 (OP)

There's no point at your age. I know because Im your age. Think about it. Everything sex related has declined. You dont get horny as often, when you cum you dont cum as much or as hard, and it just doesnt feel as good as it did 15 - 20 years ago. Its meh. The time to have sex was in your teens, 20s and 30s. If youve made it this far, why bother. You'll just be disappointed in how it feels

>>935916471
>>935917019
Add me on disc @ pickmansdealer if you have more of her

>>935920170
Yeah, you're probably right on the fitness thing. I'm working on that. Psychiatrists (not psychologists) seem to just prescribe stuff at random in hope that it works. Then if it doesn't, oops, try something else.
Believe me, I'm trying. Software engineering involves a lot of sitting on your ass in a chair, so fitness isn't easy. I might be retiring soon though.
>>935920388
Sex drive is a strange thing anon. I used to masturbate at least once a day. Now it's down to probably 3 days a week. But I don't enjoy it. I just do it to feel normal again. I don't know if sex would help, but I just want to not feel sexually frustrated.

It sounds like you have an inferiority complex.
Kind of like what Eliot Rodger had.

You can have the money & body of a chad, but if you're
anything like the chuds I deal with on the regular
that makes life a dick measuring contest
no woman is going to want to fuck you.
Why would she?

If you believe 'she deserves better', you're going to be looking for signs of cheating.

If you see a male 'that's doing better' by your perception
you're going to either
wilt and hide in your shell
or be a cunt that wears sunglasses and drives a lifted truck
and tries to fight, or intimidate every 'sex haver'

Don't be that guy.

There are resources to help you.
Dermatologist to get your skin clear, and glowing. They even have treatments that don't require botox to make your skin look younger. Look into microneedling.
Therapist to work through deep issues that 4skin can't help with.
MMA coaching, so you can confidently exist among giants without getting little man syndrome.

I just don't want you to leave this site today feeling like we
a) don't understand the actual suffering loneliness causes
b) don't want to help

We might not have the experience, or advice you are looking for, and that's fine.
But I genuinely hope you can dig deep
and find strength to become the person you want to be today.

>>935921211
>It sounds like you have an inferiority complex.
Yup...
Luckily I don't plan on shooting up a school or anything like that. I just want to be happy like any other dude.
It doesn't matter if I think "she deserves better".. Every woman I've tried to date apparently thinks she deserves better. That's why she's with some other guy and not with me. It gets pretty disheartening after so many failed attempts at dating.

>>935920652
I dont think you're sexually frustrated. I think you're intimacy frustrated, its different. You just want to be close to someone

>>935921473
True enough. Sex is part of it, but intimacy is the main thing I'm looking for. That's why I haven't just hired a hooker, since they can only handle one part but not the other.

OP here. Going to bed. Thanks everyone for chatting.

>>935912734 (OP)
really depends on who you're fucking.

But overall yeah, sex is brilliant.

>>935912734 (OP)
Here is the deal:
Most (>85%) of women want a traditional gender role man (if they aren't purple hair mentally ill tranny/lesbo types - those are exceptions). Meaning you need to make more money than her, be strong, be attractive, and be sexy. And on top of this, she expects to be a petulant child while you are the adult in the relationship. That goes for doing all the "manly" stuff, deciding what to do, and entertaining her bored ass nonstop like a fucking child. And the consequences for failure is she leaves your ass while the government then guts you like a fish for money for the rest of your life.

All the media you have consumed in life is 'blue pill fantasy' shit. NONE of it is true. Fuzzy catgirl waifu type who loves your boring normie ass? Fake. Fantasy. The reality is The Titanic: this bitch forgets your married ass on her deathbed and reminisces about some hot piece of ass she got on a cruise.

Sex is fun though. It's better when not on the clock, but you will pay out the ass for it regardless of seeing a pro or a "real gf". Real gfs are expensive as fuck, btw. However, there ARE things in life that are WAY more fun. Sex is still pretty much one of those top tier activities you can do, but the novelty does wear off.

Once you are a permavirgin, you are fucked though. No social skills at all and women can SMELL the virgin on you, literally. Like it is a vibe that immediately gives them the ick. Only way to get rid of it is to see a prostitute, or many.

>>935918319
Sex is literal physical exercise. Not being fit is a major roadblock to sex. You literally get winded trying to fuck and collapse if not fit. The minimum is not being a fat slob. Being a 30 second one and done chump isn't cutting it. You need to be able to go for 30 min to 1 hr. That means you need to train - running, swimming, weights, etc. Aerobic plus basic strength.

How the fuck are you gonna put a bitch in a full nelson and pound her? You can't. This is why ALL advice for getting sex is to get fit first. You can't perform at the finish line if you aren't fit. Sure the confidence boost is great, but being fit is the entry criteria for the race. Being smooth as fuck does you no good if you can't seal the deal.

>>935912734 (OP)
Sex and making love are not same bro

>>935918859
this

>>935915742
>I'd literally go on a date with anyone who'd say yes to a date.
As a fellow 39 year old virgin, this is fucked up. I would never give in to this. You have to have some standards, otherwise it's like you don't respect yourself.

>>935912734 (OP)
Sex is fun but if you think is the best shit ever you are very mediocre or you are in your way of being highly dissapointed.

Sex is fun when you're 14-20.
When you're 40? Lol lmao you missed out forever even if you have sex now you won't get the full experience.
You'll never know what it was supposed to be like, just like cutlets.

>>935926348
Just like cutlets? Shut yo bitch ass up old man

>>935923739
yes

>>935926416
You mutilated sandpaper dick cuck, you'll never know what sex is supposed to feel like ahahahahaahaha

>>935926453
On the contrary, I have tasted 14 year old pussy. Not just a one night stand either. And I hit it on molly multiple times.

>>935917019
Hegre Art Patti The Naked Surfer

https://zzup.com/content/MzMxMDE3/Hegre_Art_Patti_The_Naked_Surfer_10000px/SGVncmUtQXJ0LVBhdHRpLVRoZS1OYWtlZC1TdXJmZXItMTAwMDBweA==/page-1.html

>>935917019
Hegre Art Patti The Naked Surfer

>>935912734 (OP)
No. I'm in my 40's but I had lots of sex and gf's in my 20's but quit it in my early 30's. Haven't had sex in over a decade and don't miss it. Pussy is not worth the price.

47 here. Not worth it. However do get laid, even if you pay for it, just to stop getting hung up on that shit.

>>935912734 (OP)
Yes it's the most amazing thing on earth. Sometimes it's awkward or lame but with a woman you into it's mind-altering.

>>935912734 (OP)
Yes and you'll kill yourself out of regret once you find that out lol. You had one chance.