So /b/ tell me why didn’t you serve in the military?

>>935964148 (OP)
I am not patriotic in any meaningful sense of the word.

I would have tried to rape a vulnerable towelhead so I figured it wasn’t worth the hassle

Wanted to stay home and fuck lonely wives instead

>>935964269
>t. every redditer

>>935964148 (OP)
zero interest in participating in the industrial military complex in any way, shape or form

>>935964148 (OP)
>>935964269
>>935964295
>>935964306
>>935964915
I would maybe be a medic, if I were drafted.

Because I would have immediately been deployed to Iraq and I already had a scholarship for college

>>935964148 (OP)
I refuse to serve a country who's for the past 10 years told me they hated me and that I was the source of the worlds problems. Fuck em.

>>935964148 (OP)
Failed the medical exam. Apparently knees that crackle are a liability.

>>935965298
Yet here you are on this website that hates you even more

if my life got fucked and I couldn't be something awesome, i'd like to at least drive fast or shoot stuff. I applid to shit hut got an interview then got two tickets and no call back so I almost joined but then I got a call back and now my friend is dead and I have ptsd

>>935965353
>Failed the medical exam
Same, except it was the mental, and around the same time my grandmother had a heart attack throw my whole life into a mess

>>935965353
>>935965511
Broken wrist with pins and plates, history of depression with medication prescribed, scoliosis, underweight, pushing 32, and I still got in. I leave in August.

Ya’ll should try again if you really want it and if you can get a good job. I barely graduated high school but my test scores were good enough for any job available

>>935964148 (OP)
because I'm not a retarded lapdog

>>935965607
Really says a lot about the state of today's military. In any case, I tried over 25 years ago and now I'm too old.

>>935965715
Not really, they just know people like me are easily capable. You don’t need to be the “ideal alpha male”. Besides, they need us nerdy types in the intelligence sector

>>935964148 (OP)
I was suicidal as a preteen

>>935965408
This site has a far more noble cause than the military, which is merely the Fist of the Deep State.

This site is about trolling, and starting ideological dumpster fires. The True and Honest purpose of the human species.

>>935965715
>Today's
It's more about what branch you're trying to get into.

>>935965607
Good luck, just be a nobody in basic and it'll be gone in no time.

>>935966080
What age do you think you'll be at when you realize you wasted your life and now it's too late to fix it?

>>935964148 (OP)
I have heel spurs and my last name rhymes with Dump

>>935966161
What age do you think you'll be at when you realize you wasted your life giving head to the Fist and now it's too late to unfuck your PTSD and missing arm, just so Dick Cheney could get rich?

>>935964148 (OP)
because somebody has to creampie your wife while youre in another country dying for an oil company.

>>935966915
I'll help!

>>935964148 (OP)
Because I'm a chickenshit.

>>935964148 (OP)
i did. i was in the navy for 6 years.

>>935964148 (OP)
>INTJ
>145 IQ
>Built like a brick shithouse.

They were very indecisive about which department should get me, so I decided to become a car mechanic instead.

>>935964148 (OP)
because of ai slop

>>935964148 (OP)
i did. 4.5 years circa 2011 when i was 20. been out roughly a decade, and i'm gearing up to enlist again

Think you can keep up with someone as fiery as me? emaquiie

>>935968741
Why are you people trying so hard to recruit us losers? Surely if you send out the slime you find here on 4chan to another country, you are not sending your best, and the immediate impression the world will get from America is that we're all a bunch of inbred BBC-obsessed weeaboo incels? Half the males here frankly sound like potential rapists. Do you clowns really want another Steven Green situation on your hands? Bitch, please.

>>935968847
an army is better than no army

Because giving up my life for old men in suits while they bang 23 year old hookers at home isn't my forte. But you do you, sheep.

Chinese people are right about 'lying flat'

>>935964148 (OP)
I wasn't going to go to afganistan to fight a war for the republicrats to profit from.

>>935969649
An army for what?
Dick Cheney's wallet?

>>935969688
SameAnon
I come from a family of WWII vets. Three of them. Two came back uninjured. It's strange how none of them ever recommended any of the younger generations to join the military. Not once.

>>935964148 (OP)
no interest in serving as an underpaid enforcer for Raytheon, General Dynamics, Boeing, Israel, and the U.S. foreign policy establishment

>>935969799
An army for freedom.

>>935964148 (OP)
>why didn’t you serve in the military?
Because I'm not a drag queen or a lesbian from california

>>935964148 (OP)
Lets pray for OP everyone
He's a dumb enough faggot to have fallen for the army girl thirst trap

>>935964977
damn you think you get a choice when drafted?

>>935970106
would

>>935965298
found the gay trans mexican

>>935968847
what part of my little comment there sounded like a recruiting ad? i don't want any fuckers that don't want to be there, to be there. it's not for everyone, but i did enjoy my time, even though it sucked, and the economy is not nice to my degree right now, and i need money and can more than double my income day one by rejoining.

>>935969799
if you don't have an army, you better hope your adversaries don't have any army, too.

Would have joined the Navy they have the hottest women

>>935970213
People like you are the reason commercials work
You are literally a piece of livestock.
Just stick your dick in a potato covered in cosmetics

>>935970058
Want some freedom fries with that extra helping of Freedom ya got there? Would you like a side order of buzzwords on a Democracy Bun and some Patriotism to wash down the taste of Cheney's doubloons?

>>935970263
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Imagine a sad gaggle of weeaboo incels in their Felix costumes and furry chokers representing america and facing off against the russian trogolodytes or the die-hard shariah caliphate loonies who are willing to blow themselves up to please their god-emporer ayatollah.
I wonder who would win?
Keep recruiting here. It's funny.

>>935970438
>"i wonder who would win"
is this a serious question? no one is recruiting here. maybe OP lmao, but not I.

>>935970288
There's nothing wrong with asserting your dominance over an effeminate man and treating him like the woman he wants to be. It helps that he is actually attractive and he can distance himself from his crossdressing unlike troons.

>>935970252
>I enjoyed my time even though it sucked

Up is down. Left is right. War is peace. Love is hate. Ungood is Good.
Black is white. Democracy is theocracy.
4chan is a recruiting ground.

These are things that you believe.

>>935970527
okay, gonna stop replying to you lmao. it's clear you're simply mentally unwell. no waiver for you.

>>935970469
>why certainly not I!

-the devil said stifling a grin in his sleeve and rubbing his hands, schemingly.

>>935970585
No waiver?
So you WANT chuds like us to be unable to get out of military service?
You WANT us representing you?
And you believe that you are less mentally unwell, showing your face around these parts yonder here? At this point I don't know whose more unwell.

>>935970310
Enjoy being raped by Russia's nukes then.

>>935970641
>thinks raising an army of 4chuds will stop a volley of Soviet nukes.

Wow you are unwell.

>>935970641
Enjoy Cheney's special Freedom sauce in your mouth.

>>935970710
Stop demeaning yourself like that. You're capable of greater things if you just apply yourself.

>>935970760
Like guzzling Cheney's cum? No thanks. I already do great things right here on /b/

>>935970789
Jacking it to BBC cuck porn isn't great. You're a waste.

>>935964148 (OP)
I did, marines from 07-15, terminal lcpl. It was a blast, would recommend.

>>935964148 (OP)
i did and i fucked a lot of chicks

>>935971549
Ding ding ding!
Now ur learning.

>>935964148 (OP)
I graduated high school in 2003 and wasn't dumb enough to go kill people under false presences.

>>935971649
Is it true that women have 5 holes? My uncle told me that they have more than 3 so I was just wondering, you being in the military and all I figured you would know.

>>935971733
What about false pasts?

>>935971761
Don't listen to these guys, anon. I highly doubt they got laid in the military. At least not by women.

>>935971797
Auto correct.
False pretenses. Anyone with half a brain knew that the wmd thing was a total lie and some real weird shit went down on 9/11.

Nigger poopoo shit diarrhea?

>>935971869
January 6th insurrection happened on 9/11

>>935972139
SLIIIIIDE!!!!!!

>>935972139
Fuck out of here logfag, we don't need spam in this thread. This is a good thread.

>>935972203
No, we NEED LOGFAG!
WE NEED ANDYS LOGS
LET IT RAIN ANDYS LOGS

>>935964148 (OP)
because they're uniform clashes with my eye color

Well I know I, for one, enjoy the occasional steamy creamy once in a while.

>>935972139
Is this the thread?
Okay, here I go. Hold onto your anuses!
(ahem)
ITS SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDIN TIME BABYYYYY!

>>935972261
His creamies actually make for a better MRE than the awful spaghetti

>>935972298
Ever had the freeze dried omelette? Its so terrible it became a meme even amongst civilians. We hoped we didn't get it and would even skip a meal if it was all that was left.
I bet Andy's logs tasted better. Way better.

>>935972359
I never served I just had a few MRE’s for serious backpacking and snow trips so we get the self heating ones from the surplus store. Fuckers get HOT but it’s so nice to put them between layers

>>935972419
Self heating?

>>935972452
Like Andy Sixx's logs?

>>935972452
Yeah you crack a packet and it’s like a glow stick where two fluids meet and have a chemical reaction

>>935972419
Between layers?
Between layers of Andy Sixx's cheeks?

Your recruiter may LIE TO YOU and say that you can choose your job. This is oartially true. If they need someone in a certain position they'll get it.
Trump and Netanyahu want the NEOCONS in charge, not conservative Christians.

>>935972471
Sounds like what Andy Sixx does to me every Thursday night.

>>935972495
As long as Andy Sixx's logs are shart of the deal, it's fine with me.

>>935972490
Yes, I tend to have layers of pleasure and overlapping moans when I suck down a flight of his funky chunkies

>>935972537
I know that I for one get oscillating reverberations of delight whenever I'm sucking down one of Andy Sixx's steamy creamy dreamys!

I am about to take a giant shit. I feel like shit. I think I'm going to sleep all day

>>935972575
As long as it's Andy's shit your slidddin down, baby.

>>935972567
No one can deny that Andy is the unofficial king of /b/. Rule me daddy

>>935964148 (OP)
I did. It was a waste of time and basically ruined my life. It also made me a pacifist because once you stand next to those big ass missiles and artillery rounds any sane person realizes it's madness to shoot them at people.

>>935972631
Missiles? Sounds like something Andy Sixx is about to shoot out of his ass and down my throat. Oy!

>>935972614
May the Logs be with you.

>>935964306
Which you didn't do.

>>935972614
Live Log and Poster.
(vulcan salute)

>>935972726
Which he definitely did and you desperately need to not be the case.

>>935972614
I deny it.
Oh look, your entire premise has fallen apart.

>>935964148 (OP)
I did and it was the best time of my life. Things were rougher back then but I'd rejoin if I could. Zoomers have it so lucky these days. Now more than ever is the best time to enlist

>>935964148 (OP)
4F. they didn't want me.

>>935972744
Not in a million years did this fatass autist fuck anyone, let alone a lonely wife. Retard couldn't get laid in a whorehouse.

>>935964148 (OP)
Im not dying for some kike nose.

>>935972746
You are not someone, Eustace. You are a Eustace. The premise stands, since it states that "NO ONE can deny"

>>935972751
>Now more than ever is the best time to enlist
Just be sure to practice your Persian

>>935972763
Sounds like you are projecting, Eustace.

>>935972777
The denial has been issued. Premise: destroyed.

>>935972799
So this is what you do when you're not having mental illness meltdowns over Trump and "Nazis"
Does your cock even work or did the thing that put you in the wheel chair get that too?

>>935972788
What is Persian for "skibidi toilet"
"femboy"
and "hentai"???
We will need to know that when we show up in drag to the front lines and confront the adversary. Clearly the army is racing to recruit zoomers so this is important to get sorted out right now.

>>935972810
>if I say it hard enough, I will make it less false!

>>935972830
Trump wrote the SHART OF THE DEAL.
How could I possibly have anything but the utmost respect for the man who introduced the world to Andy Sixx's more obscure fiscal tactics?
And as for Nazis, yes. Nazis are typically the antagonist, or do you proud boys in the military not believe that now?

>>935972930
*faecal tactics

I meant to say

>>935964148 (OP)
Because they are secretly Terrorists killing their own people that fight for freedom when they claim they are for freedom

>>935964148 (OP)
How do you mean? National service is compulsory in my country but I was never going to sign up as a career soldier.

>>935973024
Is it compulsory for women?

>>935972930
>proud boys in the military
I'd just like to point out that the various branches know perfectly well who these people are and they're just waiting for them to pull some shit they can bring the hammer down on.

>>935973046
Yes, absolutely.

>>935973076
What about children?
You could say you are a child trapped in a man's body, and it would technically be true.

>>935973046
Oh shit, I forgot to mention the country isn't fucking "Israel". Which has killed citizens of ours and escaped all punitive action because that would be "antisemitic".
PS: Fuck Israel

>>935973060
He says, after talking like a proud boy the whole thread.

When I worked at crest foods they trained you like a military man...I was getting a 4 pack on my chest just working there for like 1 year lol...but I got really tan working there...I joined as a pale white ghost and ended up getting dark ass strong arms working there :p

>>935972855
توالت اسکیبیدی فم بوی گفتگوی

>>935973109
I'll repeat my response:

What about children?
You could say you are a child trapped in a man's body, and it would technically be true.

>>935973123
>talking like a proud boy the whole thread
You're responding to my first and only post, bruh.

>>935972746
Isn’t it past your bedtime E? The orderlies are gonna get ya

>>935973152
Now that sounds like REAL service to your country. Directly contributing to your local economy and businesses, anon. Fuck all these deep state recruiters.

>>935973165
*You* could do that, anon, but it would never work and the drillmaster would mention it in front of everybody every day just to make your period of service that much more difficult.

>>935973172
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>935973199

>>935973207
You get periods in the service?
No wonder you turds are always complaining loudly on 4chan. It's that time of the month isn't it?

>>935973155
Thank you. I will use this if I get drafted after their recruiting efforts fail here on 4chan.

>>935973242
If you say so, anon.

>>935973152
You're not supposed to eat toothpaste

>>935973305
You said it, not me.
You brought up getting your period while being sodomized by Dick Cheney.

>>935973199
And I still visit there sometimes...I haven't put on the green vest in a while...but I did it at one time in my life...i was catching carts running for them in the rain can you believe that??? they give you a lasso and tell you to bundle up shopping carts and say "just put them in the building" and i did kinda pull my hair on that day on the side of the building putting carts in that was painful :( but dude crest is fucking awesome I miss wearing that green shirt everyday :( now they all wear black and red shirts...sister got me the job and i went in arms a blazin!

>>935973305
If I had a log for every pussy you have filled with Cheney's special fluids I would have enough to build an Elon Musk swastika to fly to outer space and spread world peace.

>>935973381
Yeah work is the best. It's too bad they changed those colors, green sounds fresh and minty.

>>935973425
GREEN BIKE GREEN BIKE GREEN BIKE

>>935973237
Thank you, thank you!

>>935973425
Dude I'll be honest I had an absolute blast working there! there were always these people painting the building and saying "you gonna get some chicken" and they were so funny! maybe i should apply there again? i have before but they don't hire me anymore...I mean you kinda have to be pale the first time around they cure your sicknesses too by the way with them shunshinez you get from being outside...

>>935973667
They offered free chicken? Was it decent?

>>935964148 (OP)
Don't want to fight some shitty third world country's oil crusades for it.

>>935973740
lol no no...no free chicken they were just joking around telling me to buy some...barbara would always put the paycheck in our back pockets while we worked lol...and believe me it was funner than beanz...but nowadays I just listen to Steely Dan all the time...(by the way check the solo in this song it's insane) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQnW-MxAU6U

>>935974184
You are too cool to be hanging out on 4chan, honestly.

>>935974184
Why did you quit?
Also, Barbara sounds hilarious.

>>935974288
funny threads are rare I guess...Remember the anon worked the front desk green text thread??? now that shit was funny lol

Because that shit is fucking dumb
severe retard shit

>>935974323
it's hard to explain the reason why I quit...working in a lighted environment for so long kinda fucks with your eye sight and I was getting in muscely shape waay to damn fast and I have what appears to be one of the rarest fucking stomaches in history...my shits crazy when I lift up my shirt now

>>935964148 (OP)
I have marketable skills and I'm not a retard redneck.

>>935964148 (OP)
Because I'm not a retard. The various branches tried to recruit me. They'd come to my house and call regularly. At least one visit a month, and several phone calls. They finally stopped when I turned 26. I've got dozens of friends that served. Every single one of them regrets it. Four have committed suicide. Every thing they promise you is a lie. They put you through Hell and dump you back in to society. The health care they offer is a complete joke. I'm 42 now with 2 kids. When my cousin and best friend an heroed I sat them both down and explained to them why he was gone.

https://youtu.be/jtNrx1c3Xh8?feature=shared

>>935964148 (OP)
Oldest son in family without father. Didnt wanna die or get maimed and leave them with more hassles to deal with or bring them down. Plus there are a ton of other people "serving" lol

Its a free military. Its a job. Serving is a obama era spin term btw, atleast the way its used today

>>935974395
I don't really know what you mean by "rare stomache" but it sounds like you had a fun job and contributed to society. That's my dream. Maybe one day I will leave my little Euro-trash basement.

>>935974351
I don't, but I have certainly read my share of green texts and can imagine.

>>935974395
Wait, are you saying you quite your job because it made you too buff?

>>935974511
hey man they train you GOOD do you have a crest where you live?

>>935974549
I think he did. Wouldn't cause me to put in my notice, but to each his own I guess.

>>935974614
I think I'm having a stroke.

>>935974549
yes and no...there was also the constant lighted environment I was struggling in...but dude I'd go to work any damn day who knows maybe I can apply there again?...I forgot my damn pin password though...they hook you up with crest shirt and rain jacket when you work there too...

>>935974643
Rain jacket? This sounds interesting.

>>935974643
Alright, I'm not the anon you are replying too, but I just applied for a position at Crest. It sounds like a great place for a young man like myself who is looking for a bright future.

>>935974687
Me too. I am opening up a tab and applying right now. To think I almost was getting ready to join the military! How silly!

Well I guess we can say this thread was effective at recruiting 4cucks for one thing lol
Everyone get a job at crest

>>935974687
DUDE IT IS! and the sacker parties they throw? out of this fucking world man...that's all i can say...

>>935974779
I was actually introduced to a cute girl with short hair when working there...she was working with me :3 don't worry I didn't ask her out i just sacked with her and tried to give her speed tips...By the way I was DAMN fast at sacking back in the day...

>>935974959
I was always good at that game at my cousins parties. They'd sack across their lawn. One year they did three per sack and my aunt kept winning, even though she had a cast on.

>>935964148 (OP)
Not everyone wants to be a murderer, I guess.

>>935975027
aww man it's all coming back to me now...who knows maybe ill land this job at crest? if you were me would you even bother applying? my sisters the one who got me the job by the way she was like "hey collin i heard crest is hiring" and I was like DAMN I'm going...cuz why not? you get cool sunshinez when you work there...

But I'm on the outside and I'm looking in...I can see through you see your true colors cuz inside we're thirsty...we're thirsty like Collin...I can see through you see to the real you :( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQpfoqsY8Q

>>935975235
Like Timothy Leary.
Collin is the new Timothy Leary of /b/

Aww poopy I'm posting Pancho and Lefty again...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoKvUYbGu7A

OVER AND IN...LAST CALL FOR A DRANK...WHEN EVERYONES LOST THE BATTLE IS WON...WITH ALL THESE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE...All these things that I've done...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZTpLvsYYHw

>>935964148 (OP)
AI Slop

>>935976006
Collin I promise you manikan skywalker everything will be fine sweetheart. I know anons are evil here...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLCasyAh7ic

>>935964148 (OP)
>So /b/ tell me why didn’t you serve in the military?

"So /b/ tell me why didn’t you serve in the military?"