>be me
>25, live with parents, living the neet life
>spend free time lurking /v/, arguing about Skyrim vs. Oblivion
>life is a cycle of Mountain Dew and regret
>decide to “get my shit together” after mom passive-aggressively leaves job ads on my keyboard
>apply to local grocery store because it’s close and I’m lazy
>interview day, wear only clean shirt, smells faintly of Doritos
>manager is middle-aged Karen, looks at me like I’m a expired coupon
>ask me why I want to work there
>brain.exe crashes, mumble something about “liking food”
>she sighs, hires me anyway, probably desperate
>first day, get put on cart duty
>it’s 90 degrees, sweating like a neckbeard at a cosplay con
>old lady yells at me because her cart wobbles
>tell her I’ll get a new one, walk away, never come back
>hide in break room scrolling /b/ for 20 minutes
>manager catches me, gives me “the look”
>next shift, they stick me on register
>scan items slower than a dial-up modem
>guy buying beer gets mad because I take too long checking his ID
>accidentally call him “sir” like I’m LARPing as a knight
>he mutters “fucking loser” under his breath
>mfw I agree with him

>>936044242 (OP)
At least you got a job, unlike that beer swilling asswipe.

>>936044444
Digits….checked

>>936044242 (OP)
Oblivion anon it's always Oblivion forever and ever.

>>936044242 (OP)
you went from no job to job, that is progress

although yeah you probably are a little retarded. can't judge because I'm also on /b/

>>936044444
Checked