I'm diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Last time I saw my shrink is years ago and I smoke a lot of weed. AMA

>>936238753 (OP)
Because nothing is better for schizophrenia than marijuana.

>>936239389
I smoked marijuana all my life and only got psychotic twice. Last psychosis was ten years ago and I'm stable, my psychiatrist knows I smoke weed daily but says as long as it doesn't make me psychotic and I keep taking my meds, there is not much of a problem. I can't work either way, and smoking weed helps with boredom.

>>936239482
If you can’t work then what do you do all day?

>>936238753 (OP)
At least you're aware that you deserve it. So that's good I guess

>>936239516
smoke weed, lurk on here, play vidya watch anime, smoke more weed, go out for my daily 20 minutes walk to get groceries, then smoke some more weed and go to bed. rinse and repeat.

>>936239594
Do you ever go for longer walks or drive or explore the area where you live?

>>936239573
I don't think anyone deserves schizophrenia. It's mostly a genetic inherited condition that makes you vulnerable to psychosis, and yes weed is one trigger of psychosis, but so is pretty much everything else. As long as I take my daily medication there's not much else I can do to have it under control, and I do and am stable the past 10 years, so I think I'm doing a fairly good job all things considered.

>>936239672
I can't drive, never felt motivated enough to learn how to, and now on meds my reaction time probably would be too slow anyways to do so safely. I don't really like to leave my flat that often, but I force myself by just buying groceries for each day, so I at least get some daily fresh air. The antipsychotic medication made me fat, and I hate walking now.

>>936239816
>I hate walking now.
That’s too bad imo nothing helps for mental problems as much as just going outside and touching grass

>>936238753 (OP)

>>936239716
Well he's exacerbating it knowingly, willingly and intentionally with marijuana daily AND not taking his prescribed medications. His ongoing suffering is directly his own fault, he certainly does deserve it

>>936239903
Off my meds I get active. Very active. And I go outside a lot and walk everywhere. Also break into buildings and set shit on fire. Or other fun activities the voices command. Anyways, meds make a stop to that for good, but also to any kind of other once fun activities that are more rational in nature.

>>936239987
You misunderstood, I do take my daily medication, if I need a new yearly prescription for the meds, I can write my psychiatrist on whatsapp. I'm stable for the past 10 years this way and don't experience any psychotic symptoms at all anymore, despite smoking weed daily.

>>936240094
So why can’t you work?

>>936240134
The meds make me sleepy and I can't really concentrate. I haven't managed to read a book in years. I have to take long naps every day. I can't motivate myself to do the most simplest of tasks. I also tried without weed for years, but this didn't change the so called negative symptoms of schizophrenia, with meds being no help there neither.

>>936238753 (OP)
Get a handle on that shit, anon. My mother has it, and lives in denial about it, and is a raging alcoholic who lives alone in filth because everyone has washed their hands of her after dealing with her snapping, and going apeshit on the reg
>>936239987
Does marijuana have a negative impact on schyzos?

>>936240436
OP here. Weed can have a very negative impact for schizophrenics, especially when not medicated. But I take my daily medication and can smoke all the weed I want, from my experience with the last 10 years, and won't get psychotic. According to a psychiatrist that makes me a little child playing with matches in a TNT factory, but I do really like weed and I'm stupid.

>>936238753 (OP)
I was psychotic for 15 years.
It was clear the voices and wills were not mine, so I did not consider meds.

Meds have helped for some years, I can live the same just busier off them, but if I get angry for five minutes they throw me in the asylum for a month and inject me.

This happened last time, was off my meds for months, got angry at the guy who stabbed me with an icepick and posted a message threatening him online, so they threw me in the ward and injected me. Despite I was not thinking at all since writing the message and they even had the nerve to say I was paranoid when I went in and was not after the meds, the truth is they actually changed nothing, in fact after the meds were injected my psychosis came back for a while because of the stress of being locked up, but it is not chemical, it was 'them' fucking with me because they could kick me whilst I was down.

The thing of it is, if you spend 15 years psychotic and use your high intelligence to stay out of trouble (I even had and held a job, thinking 60 thoughts a minute) then you begin to know what is delusional and what is normal, so when you ever stop your meds you know when you are getting ill and can request to take them again.

My voices said they were leaving, they left immediately and only came back to say a few things, which are now not hostile, but rather a statement about what they are curious about in the world. I get voices once a month or so now, even if I take double my antipsychotic dose, I do not get delusions.

>>936240276
My meds do not make me fat or drowsy.
I can do ev erything a normal person can do except feel like them. I feel wiped all the time, emotionally empty, not tired or numb, but just content and without swings in mood, unless I get stabbed or something.

>>936241424
>It was clear the voices and wills were not mine
I still think this (when thinking about my past psychotic episodes). But the meds just seem to work miracles with me and block all of them out, the way I prefer.

>>936241424
First time I got psychotic, it ended with me thinkin I'm God in flesh on earth and had to start Armageddon by setting my flat on fire. My flatmates who were still asleep at that time weren't too amused and called the cops. They forced me on meds in the locked up section of the hospital, and as soon as they started to do the trick I was released. Five years later my psychiatrist thought I was doing so well, except for my weight gain on meds, so he thought of the brilliant idea to quit the meds. Second psychosis followed quickly and this time I broke into some rich people mansion and stayed the night in there. Next day cops come, arrest me, yadda yadda, but in hindsight I'm thankful for the quick intervention those guys provide.

>>936241678
https://www.lucifersapprentice.co.uk/mental-betterment/

My opinion on the whole affair.

>>936241514
>I feel wiped all the time, emotionally empty, not tired or numb, but just content and without swings in mood, unless I get stabbed or something.
Get that too. But also I pretty much doubled my body weight in the first two years of taking the meds, and I sleep 12 hours a day and still have to take naps during.

>>936241803
>God in flesh on earth and had to start Armageddon by setting my flat on fire.

I also once set my flat on fire, the only time I was a danger when psychotic.

I had to do it because every time I abandoned society because they hated me for being a leech after I quit my job eventually, I just came back to my flat when I got a change of heart, so I burned my flat and threw my keys in a river, then was going to go to the woods and live like a caveman. I saw the flames and suddenly realised I could kill other people, so I phoned the fire brigade.

They locked me up for a year.

did you take your morning dose? go do that real quick before you forget.

>>936242044
I always take my morning dose. Never missed my prescribed dosage of antipsychotics in the past 15 years, I'm a good boi schizo.

>>936241424
I'm so fucking proud of this anon, goddamnit that's great news for you man I'm so glad to hear about your success. This shit is fucking hard and it's good to hear that one of us made it out the other side. I always doubt treatment will even help but here he is, living proof that it can be managed if we work towards our goals the right way, and ask for help when we need it.

>>936241806
very interesting take on the whole matter. I always felt psychosis was like a initation rite initiated by the divine to get me closer to truth. or something like that. Before psychosis I was an atheist, raised as such and never came in contact with any form of religion or spirituality, until the age of 24 when first psychosis struck. Now I know god exists, which is neat. Probably some good old shrooms or lsd of high dosage would do the trick too, but I am somewhat grateful for the full blown experience of psychosis in this way-

>>936242044
>>936242117
I do not remeber basic things like that, my normal memory has been crippled by psychosis for so long, I remember details like an autistic about all sorts of weird stuff, like normal things are not important to me and I cannot remember what my boss said or peoples names etc, but I can remember a 1p interest deposit into my bank 20 years ago instead. Or I can remember all of what it is to be psychotic and that has filled my memory.

I requested monthly injections because of this, and I do not even have to leave the house to get them.

>>936242117
this mans the fuckin blueprint. i skip doses constantly. its the biggest challenge in my treatment, by far. its fine when i remember, but i never do. so it's rarely fine lol.

>>936242251
>and I do not even have to leave the house to get them.
shit it's starting to sound like you don't live in the states. it makes sense this kind of success could be found elsewhere. i never considered that. this place really sucks.

>>936242170
Cheers bud.

My voices now do things like tell me answers to questions like what a squirrel eats when there's no nuts, and they ask me to do things like respray a bike frame because they want to see how it is done.

>>936242334
It wouldnt matter were i lived, it is because of my upbringing as a person who doesn't blend in to make people like him, my IQ which is very high and my absolute denial of mental warfare and my strength of will to tolerate all torments and sit amidst the pain just soaking it up without doing weird shit for decades.

I do not live in the states, I have a state-assigned nurse who comes once a month and a psychiatrist I see every six months. Basically this is the only difference, if I lived in the states I would have to get my prescriptions and potentially have to rely on alexa to tell me when to take my meds I think.

https://voca.ro/1mK0Eya8Ju2c

I'll just leave this here.

>>936242665
>Basically this is the only difference
damn man i don't mean to sound pedantic but i love that you think this is the only difference. psychiatrists here are scheduling 6+ months out just to get seen, so you can get referred to someone ELSE who's scheduling 3 months out, just for you to get there and be unable to afford the co-pay, so you have to bill an insurance that won't cover the treatment. and your bottom line is you had no treatment this entire time and that just continues. forever. damn this is more depressing than i realized.

>>936243281
Sorry, maybe I really missed the point.

Sucks to be in America. Obama had sense when he tried to correct that shit.

No other president cares enough to try, they just send billions to the wars.

>>936242379
ngl I've got DID, not schizophrenia. but our doctors are asking the same questions if you know what i mean. its funny though, my voices do similar things. its like radio chatter, they're just constantly commenting on my environment or even just shouting out random words. Not really harmful but definitely distracting lol. I'm comforted that my memory problems aren't just me specific. They're easily the worst part of my life. They fuck everything up.

>>936243281
OP here, sorry to hear your living in the US. I can't imagine how to survive as schizo over there, I'd most probably would by shot by cops or in prison if I were american.

>>936243432
Here in Canada you would just live on the streets. I’m guessing that’s the case in the US as well.

>>936243432
damnnn see I was really hoping I wouldn't hear this from you guys honestly. most of our homeless population are people exactly like us. they just didn't have our support system or families. its so wild to look at. "it could be me on the corner talking to myself if i forget again". it's hard to hang onto reality sometimes lol. still. fucking sucks.

>>936238753 (OP)
My das is schizophrenic so ive never smoked weed cuz im scared af of developing it too
How is it? The schizophrenia

>>936245496
Schizophrenia skips a generation. My mother is a batshit schizo, and I've smoked weed for 25 years with no issue

>>936245496
>ive never smoked weed cuz im scared af of developing it too

I used to smoke weed, spent a lot of years doing nothing but spending every penny on it.
When you have been through the paranoia associated with long term use as a genetically predisposed schizophrenic, the paranoia itself is massive once the disease is in full swing and you toke a bong, but it is only a feeling, not a definitive delusion, so it becomes easy to deal with. I haven't smoked weed in years, I even stopped drinking, now I have a bottle of cider every two months and an Irish cream at xmas.

The start of schizophrenia is loose association, well, it was for me, basically everything said or on TV or radio was directly focused on me.
Then comes learning to have 3 thoughts for every prompt and deciding which one to believe.
Then comes believing strange things are attacking you, like snipers outside waiting for a shot, etc. Or triads following you about and sending you thoughts. Then comes the truly bizarre, like spending all night, every night, just arguing with demons or mind readers, or angels or God, or aliens, I have had all of them for over a decade.

Eventually, the common folk are irrelevant because they simply cannot compute anything you discuss, it is difficult for some people because that is their anchor, the fact that they are one of a collective. It wasn't difficult for me because I always lived as though I was alone. Even as a boy I would just spend my time breaking in to old buildings or riding my bike in the woods, people are not my anchor.

>>936246577
Ive heard about that before but i still get scared to try it
My original plan is to wait until im 40 to maybe try it out since its very rare to develop after your 30s (im 22)

>>936247016
I already have adhd so the multiple thought stuff is pretty relatable, and as for dissociation most of the time im not really aware of stuff cuz im too distracted so idk i just feel like all this stuff contributes for me to end up developing it
I discussed it w a psychiatrist once and they said theres no need to worry about dissociating but idk, its been with me ever since i was a kid

>>936249541
What probably is not relatable is how loose association and multiple thoughts about everything draw towards your worries not just what is normal for you. It builds you into a state of total disgust with yourself for the flaws you perceive of yourself and the errors you have previously committed in life. Your paranoia is amplified about everything bad and the good just becomes something you used to be aware of.

Then everything that follows is all negative to you, all the battles with demons and aliens and mental attackers become a worst-case scenario, you can devolve into a state of panic or even catatonia because of this.

What it does is strip humanity from you and leaves either a corruption of logic or an absolute drive to be purely logical. Unfortunately, most do not become pure, and they fail dismally and have to be medicated forever. I can be unmedicated and still become a fairly uncorrupted logical construct through all my trials, but it seems this is rare, and even I can have lengths of time where I need to learn something to put down insanity.

>>936249394
Or just don't bother with having kids. The world is on fire, and we have people like the Chinese, Muslims, and Republicans who reproduce like fucking rats. Even if my mother wasn't batshit insane, I wouldn't reproduce. The chance of my offspring being cursed with schizophrenia is just a good excuse that people can't try to convince me out of