>>936323189
"Ladies and gentlemen... I'm here with J-Tard, who once again failed to secure even a remotely competent performance in the ring tonight. But—against all better judgment—he’s requested time to address... his recent ‘real-life win’?"
"Gene... Gene, listen. I dominated the CVS earlier this week. Crushed it. 6'2, 190 lean, blessed shoulder genetics—you ever see traps like this? You haven’t. You can’t. I walk in, they all stop talkin’ about Brad. Guess what? I AM the Brad now."
"You’re talking about a protein shake and fungal cream run. That has nothing to do with wrestling."
"I said my name was Anon, Gene. And they tittered. They tittered like a drawer full of silverware hittin’ the floor of destiny. Amanda? She said she was once in love with an Anon. That’s ME, Gene. It’s always been me. Fate, written in Boost High Protein Choccy."
"Your mouth is foaming. What's that smell? Are you leaking from the chair again?"
"She came to my window. She returned my twenty. She remembered me. They ALL remember me, Gene. They act like they don't, but they do. They’re obsessed. I’m based. I’m the BASED one."
"You lost to a 6-year-old Make-A-Wish kid earlier tonight after you tried to make him taste your butt plug, and you’re here talking about... flirting in CVS?"
"The kid cheated. My plug was off-balance. I didn’t lose. I never lose. I'm the real main event. Those girls? Amanda? She saw the truth. You all see it too, deep down."
"This chinless man has fungus growing into his spine, he hasn't blinked in three minutes, and he's bragging about an interaction that sounded more like a wellness check than a romantic victory."
"It could happen again, Gene. It could all happen again..."
"Security, please. Bring the Lysol and the fire hose."
