secrets thread

>>936817592 (OP)
I like to suck dick.

>>936817592 (OP)
I know my niece is having sex with her dad and I haven't told anyone about it.

I'm the one who's been posting Gypsy

Lost my virginity to a black girl when I was 19 and been addicted to black pussy since then. I'm a very nerdy white guy and have a hard time going after them though

My grandma fucked me when i was a kid and i loved it

>>936817592 (OP)
I've had sex

>>936817592 (OP)
I work about 15 hours a week and take like 6-8 weeks of vacation a year and made more than $200k last year.

I used to post my exes nudes a lot and one time she got recognized by her best friends dad who has known her since she was a child

When I was 17 (early 00s), after my school year ended, I was offered to go with my little brother to his end-of-year elementary school camping trip (he was 10)

Basicaly, the whole school moving to an outdoor campsite for a week (though the younger kids weren't sleeping on site)

There were activities to do but most of it was free time for the kids to play together while teachers were treating it as a vacation, and a few parents were there too to help watch over them but it was very lax, mostly unsupervised (and there was a lot of drinking on evenings).
I had a bit of a weird spot in there as I was supposed to help keep an eye on the kids but also I was the only one under drinking age (no parents or teacher were under 30).. it was awkward at first but I made the most of it by scoring with as many girls as possible

>>936817592 (OP)
I got my wife’s sister pregnant by nutting in her while she was passed out drunk

>>936819622
Did she keep the kid?

>>936819738
Yup she’s 3 now

>>936819783
Did the sister sleep around during that time?

I'm going to have sex for the first time tomorrow. I'm 28.

>>936819820
She just got dumped, he didn’t want kids-he’s raising mine for me,nice guy

i'm like 90% certain my younger brother is fucking our mom.
When i visit it's like.. it sounds stupid but "you just know".
Little things like picking him up early and waiting for him to be done with his shower, and his bed is untouched like he didn't sleep in it. Seeing his toothbrush and other crap in her bathroom, etc.
no clue wtf i even want to do with this information or if i even want to know more. and have no one on earth i can talk to about it.

Took my cousin's virginity, and it was the best sex I've ever had.

Found out I have a trib fetish. Only did it for like 3 days before freaking out and getting super paranoid about things being leaked. I hate that the idea of it still gets me horny, but at least it made me realize im a porn addict and I can make steps to fix that. Im definitely not gay bc the idea of being with a guy disgusts me, but the visual of a girl I know getting came on just gets me really horny.

>>936818621
Go on....

>>936817592 (OP)
I think it's kinda neat when dads and daughters fuck.
I have enough sense to react with disgust whenever it comes up in public but in my head I'm usually like, "...nice."

I hope if you have or know a girl or an attractive female, one who passes, you bring her to my specific city for burial. I work in the mortician field somewhere in Tennessee. I may or may not be licensed. I may or may not be a professional. I may be an apprentice, someone who has access to the family or a family member’s business, or a janitor. I won’t answer any questions. I don’t want anything to ruin my life in this world or the next.
I marry females spiritually, committing our souls together, before their burial, so that they can be part of my harem in the next life. Young girls and teens make up the majority of my harem. They are my preferred souls to be with. They are not in large numbers, but being that there has been a consistent flow I’ve had access to, I have gained a small clutch. At first, it was like a little self-indulgent treat, having worked on a few girls I found rather attractive, even dead. I skillfully wrap a metal band [a thin engraved and inscribed ring I developed] around their proximal phalange, place a small scroll of spiritual vows in them [somewhere I deem significant], and conduct a little ceremony for vows. Don’t overthink it. They could be either unmarried spiritually for eternity, or not. I choose not.
Young teens and girls are pretty much automatic - provided they aren’t simply fat. That’s simply my preference. For the rest, if she is athletic, fit, somewhat thin, and attractive, she does it for me. It’s unfortunate, but that number is small. My standards are too high. The bulk of bodies I see are either male, too old, or too fat. Oh, and married women aren’t an exception, by the way. “Till death do us part” is part of their former marital vows. If I find them attractive, they’re getting a new set of vows… To ensure there would be no conflict in the next life, I add the phrase, “you and your spirit will always be closer to my heart, like your ring to my finger.” Let that little nugget settle in.

>>936818621
I have some super arcane knowledge and a hand built spreadsheet that took me several years to build and would take anyone else enough time to build from scratch.

So I have very little competition and while I quote everybody like $250-$500/hr, I really work like 25-35% of the hours I charge them for.

Not many people need my services, but when they do, there really are very few other options outside of a big law firm or cpa/consulting firm and their hourly is higher and they pad their hours way more than me, so even if I quote a job for $17,500, they are quoting over $40k. It take me two days to do it, but I don't send it back to them for like 6 weeks.

Also, the jobs give me insanely good information on particular real estate markets and also with regard to future land use plans/trends, so I have used that buy property and flip it for double within 18 months.

I have two hot milf coworkers, both in their late thirties/early forties, divorced, kids in their teens, and BFFs with each other at and outside of work.

Within the past two years, both have married guys 10-15 years younger than themselves, and are pregnant again.

>>936821112
If I correctly guess what you do, will you acknowledge it? (I will then delete my post if you want)

Right after college I met a girl who lived with her bf and we started fucking and he lost his shit and shot her while she was sleeping about 2 hours after i creampied her in that very spot.

>>936821310
sure

I recently found out my mom slept with one of my high school friends over a decade ago. I'm not even friends with him anymore, no real way or motivation to confront him about it.
it's just a super weird thing.

>>936819025
Share on

Someone who gets posted regularly on here has a daughter who just turned legal earlier this year. I was able to convince the daughter to sell ass and tit pics for cheap.

I used to blow my step-brother every night after we hit puberty.
We're both married now, but I sometimes wish I could swallow his load again.
My wife's open to a threesome or swap with them, but neither of us are brave enough to make a move on it.

>>936821341
I think you're a zoning consultant. Someone wants to build a big thing, you know all the regulations. You're able to tell them the legality of anything they might want to do on a given parcel of land. Knowing which way those wanting to build are likely to go on something is like knowing that Disney is going to build Disney World in Florida before anyone else knows, so when things like that happen you can buy up surrounding land and sell it after the announcements.

>>936817592 (OP)
I have sex with a lot of females....none of them know I am also a secret little panty wearing cocksucker too...

about 15 years ago, I was working at a large state government agency. I was mid management so worked with the HR folks a lot.

Was scrolling amateur porn sites and ran across a set of the HR director, who was probably a 5-6 but presented herself well.

Basically it was pics of her sucking off a group of guys and playing with her pussy.

It made me horny as fuck and so one day I just brought up how one of my employees had gotten caught looking at porn on his state issued laptop and said something about "I wonder kind of porn it was? Like is he into younger? older? gay? group sex? maybe amateur MILFS?". She just kind of froze and had an awkward giggle.

Then I made some comment about how I am always amazed that so many women let guys take pics of them like that. "like I can't imagine ever being so bold as to have asked any of my gfs to let me take pics of them, much less that they would let me. Can you imagine? Like how would you act if your husband asked to take pics of you?"

Again kind of an awkward giggle from her. And she started saying something about "oh well you know people have different feelings about those things and maybe they were ceoerced. Some girls just don't care. Plus, you probably dated girls that were much more confident than the average gal."

Then I continued, "Yeah I guess you are right. I just wonder what makes someone decide that they are going let some guy photograph them getting gangbanged or whatever. Don't they know it is eventually going to be seen by someone they know. Anyway, are we firing him or just giving him a warning?"

I got an email from her like an hour later asking me to meet her for lunch to talk about new hires. I got down there and first thing she said was "You saw them didn't you?" I said yes and she started crying and it was some story about an abusive ex husband and he posted them as revenge a few years earlier but they can't seem to scrub them completely. I told her it was OK and how sorry I was.

>>936821852
Post them with her face cropped out?

>>936821484
I already knew most of my brother's classmates, so they were easy to talk to.
During the day I would find ways to get alone with them, in tents or empty facilities around (the shower stalls were really good for that).
I also had a tent all to myself set a bit apart, and I would have a girl over every night.

Over the week (monday to friday, so 4 nights) I got intimate with 7 different ones

>>936817592 (OP)
I used to have sex with my stepdad in HS. im a dude.

My first blowjob was from a hooker when i was 15. Ran into her by complete accident at a bus stop and she fucked my dick in the bushes in exchange for half a pack of cigarettes.
she was not hot. i did not care.

>>936821709
Close - I do market demand studies feasibility studies and then design incentive packages to make the project feasible I also know all the state incentive programs and tax schemes so package them all and help the localities/developers access them.

Like I can't access the programs I design for myself, but once they are in place, my property may be worth more because of the ability for the new buyer to access the incentives. TBH my clients like this because I help market their economic development by finding a buyer for my property. It is all small scale for me bc I haven't figured put a way to really monetize the knowledge end of it other than a small real estate deal every year or two.

>>936822153
*sucked my dick
sheesh

>>936821852
Anyway, a couple days later, she told me how embarassed she was that I saw them and how sweet I was about it. The conversation moved pretty quickly to her saying something like "you must thing I am a complete whore and degenerate>" She went on and on about it and eventually I just sort of said, "I honestly thought it was hot. You looked really good."

At this point I thought I was cooked, but she kind of leaned into it and we ended up fucking here and there for a few months before she got a new bf.

>>936821992
God I wish. I have spent at least dozen years trying to find them again.

>>936822160
Nice. I wish you continued success. If I wanted to try doing the same someday, would I be stepping on your toes? I'm in the Philadelphia area.

>>936822420
probably not. It has a pretty high moat.

I worked for the state for a long time running most of the state incentive programs so I hired most of the staff that is there and wrote most of the programs so I not only know all the wrinkles, but also know the people who can either make it easy or hard.

I also know most of the local Ec Dev folks, especially in the more rural and distressed areas. And I know a good number of the developers that do that kind of work.

I won't tell you which state I am in, but is not PA or NJ. My guess is it would be hard to get this niche even if you were really focused on it, but probably not impossible.

I mostly work with smaller places that don't have their own staff.

All that said, I hate myself for how much time I waste like today on 4chan

>>936822653
>All that said, I hate myself for how much time I waste like today on 4chan
Well let me try to repay your knowledge with my trick which occasionally works:
If there is work that you need a computer to do, so staying away from a computer altogether isn't an option if you're supposed to be productive, but if you're usually wasting lots of time on places like 4chan, then I suggest you do two things.
One: go for as long as you can at the start of every day without visiting any of your "problem sites" at all. Not on your phone, not on your pc, nowhere. The dam will break most every day, but hold the damn as long as you can.
Two: listen to audio that provides a small amount of stimulation but nothing so much that it's something one can really "listen" to. White noise. The sound of rain. Cafe audio. Lately I've been listening to "rivate Interstellar Suite in Deep Space | Ambient Music and Deep Space Sounds", a live channel on YT.
It's enough to keep my mind engaged, but not so much I get distracted by it.

Little girls are cheap in the 3rd world

here is a secret thread I have posted before.
>be me, teenager in very wealthy DC suburb
>mow awns for neighbors
>make a ton of money for being 15 in the 1980s
>get a job mowing a lawn a couple blocks away though a recommendation
>don't meet with the owner, just over a phone call, but it is the Sec of State
>Mow lawn, get paid, get a decent bonus/tip in the envelope he leaves under the side door doormat.
>a couple af mows later, show up and meet Sec of State son very briefly
>he says, kind of weirdly "make sure you don't go inside the house."
>whatever, I never go in the houses
>its a big yard
>about 20% through, I feel the need to shit
>its a decent walk home so power through
>its getting worse and worse.
>about 75% through and I am about to shit myself
>knock on doors, no answer
>check basement side door and it is open
>run in and find basement toilet
>shit my brains out
>It splatters a good bit
>no toilet paper
>look under sink
>no toilet paper, but a stat of Hustler and Oui magazines
>start jerking off
>door gets smashed in
>several secret service agents with guns drawn on me
> I still have shit on my ass and my hard teen cock in my hand
>drop guns and cant stop laughing
>find me some TP
>get told to never come by again
>get a $250 bonus to never mention it again bc the Attorney General was on some anti porn campaign and it would look bad if people knew Sec State had porn.

>>936823364
This. Go to shitty poor places with cash and you can indulge yourself. Mexico used to be great. Cambodia is still pretty awesome, but you need to be savvy. Ecuador is currently the best though. Spend $500 for a week on the beach, endless beers and tight young pussy.

Me and my brother used to terrorize illegals we would find hiding on my grandfathers property. He lives near the border, and there are little dilapidated barns and shit all over. Finding women is the best, as they are usually exhausted and have no fight. The older ones will protect the younger ones and do pretty much whatever we tell them. Crying beaner cunts shouldn't be here anyway.

>>936823754
Honduras is my usual destination, know some people there, east to get whatever I want

Columbia, mid 90's

paradise for those that prefer naturally bald pussies

>>936825027
That's the only kind I get, so much fun.

I am in love with my wifes sister. Wife is 20, sister is 22. I love my wife and wont cheat on her but god i want to marry her sister too and impregnate both of them. Cherry on top is that me and her sister almost dated a year before i met my wife. Now her sis is in an unhappy marriage

>>936822004
That must have been a crazy week lol.

Any that you saw again or was it just that week?

I had to help a 9yo girl shower several times and it was honestly pretty fun getting to touch her entire body

>>936819864
Good for you man. Dont worry about the age, no one really gives a shit when you started having sex. Just enjoy each other.

>>936825587
A really crazy week indeed
I kept in touch with 3 during the summer after that, stopped doing it when classes resumed

>>936821031
Assuming you're not full of shit, I have an unrelated question. If someone came to you seeking help, would you be able to declare a body as unidentified so they could steal their identity?

>>936824194
i had a bad experience there 20ish years ago. not sure if i want to go back anytime soon.

>>936825884
Luckily the 3rd world is large

>>936823364
>>936823754
>>936824194
>>936825230

Care to share a story?
Hot ones?
Forced ones?
Filthy ones?

>>936825978
last time in Southamerica for me i actually had some nice chocolate,
on an unrelated note im considering a trip to africa.

Was on a trip with wifes family last fall. Her cousin is 11 and has a crush on me, catch her staring at me from time to time. We were at a place with a pool, her cousin came out of the pool on all fours with her ass facing me. Never been so hard in my life. Had thought about her before, but now i cant stop thinking about what i saw

>>936826337
Chocolate is nice but Africa is like 6th world

>>936825844
Any still today?

>>936826957
from those girls, no, pretty much didn't see any of these girls again after that summer

I tried hanging around the campsite again a few years later during their annual trip, but without my brother enrolled in that school it was harder to get any

>>936819025
Are you cut?

>>936827143
Well you have memories for a lifetime

>>936817592 (OP)
im 20 and dress good.
Today i walked past a girl like 13 years old over the street and She looked at me with obvious interest, hoping I would too.
I only gave her a single glance, because if I had smiled at her, she would think I was some weirdo who liked little girls.
Which is true, but you don't have to act on it.
If her mind can even think that far.

In my mind, however, I looked back at her, she smiled, and so did I, and then she spoke to me, and then we went into the woods and simply kissed.
I touched her sweet, untouched body very carefully while her little tongue inexperiencedly licked around in my mouth.
She smelled fresh, the way 13-year-old girls smell.
I have a problem.

What I was actually getting at was, after she walked by, I thought to myself: YES MAN, I STILL HAVE IT.
By "it," I mean the "little girl attract gene."

>>936827143
Wait we’re you fucking other teens or were you preying on the young ones?

>>936826798
Lol some places sure. but lots of nice places. ive been before just not for that reason.

also never actually been to asia. but south america is more my style anyway

>>936826067
Spent a night with 2 sisters, they were a couple years apart. Loved making them watch me destroy each other

>>936827415
Yeah, language barrier in Asia sucks, Spanish, even Portuguese, is so much easier

>>936827513
What was the age gap?

Did you make them participate in each others' destruction?

Or taste each other? Directly on taste their sister on your dick?

>>936827192
europe, so no

>>936827234
indeed

>>936827378
on the young ones, I was attempting to repeat some of my previous success

>>936827657
Describe the sexiest one you fucked?

I love posting my 16yo sister on here. Love seeing people goon to her juicy young ass, nothing makes me cum harder than that.

>>936828014
post

>>936827901
easy one: there was a redhead(10) that was real cute and always up for fun... that fun could be kicking some balls with other kids or getting her brains fucked out all night

When I was 14 (back in the early 90s), we lived in an apartment complex. In this very complex there were other
kids my age, and this one really cute woman (green eyes, single mom of two kids, short, beautiful smile). She
had heard my family and I were moving at the end of Summer, and it was the beginning of June.

She made an off-hand comment that seemed a little flirty, and since I was moving, I held nothing back, alluding
to sex. To my surprise, she agreed. This woman fucked me almost every single day from around 3PM to 6PM
(not continuously, obviously, but we were together for 3 hours a day). She wanted me to cum inside her in
every position, as much as I could, and I did - sometimes 8 times (god bless being 14).

Fast forward to the middle of august. The last day we fucked, she told me she had missed her period. I asked her
if that was bad, confused, and she said "not at all, it's a really good thing". She smiled, and said to forget it.
We fucked that last day for about 4 hours, on and off, and we said goodbye. I cried after I left.

She was 36. This woman taught me how to fuck, and how to eat pussy. It's because of her that I have this fetish
for red headed green-eyed women, and likely why I married my wife.

Two years ago I did a 23 & Me using false name and address, and got a match: daughter, profile said she was 31. I immediately erased my account, but have been looking her up on social media discreetly. :)

>>936828099
Feel like I’ll get banned now if I post the pic

>>936828569
If they're nonnude you'll be fine.

>>936828636

>>936828569
you have Discord ?

>>936828783
Mmmm so nice

>>936827642
Gap was quite a bit, they were both single digits..
They just watched the other get destroyed but they did a lot with each other too when I was just fucking them and stuff

>>936828783
Would

>>936828783
Need more of her

>>936828400
Had a similar relationship once and she ended up being my first creampie.

She ended up getting pregnant but was also seeing other guys at the time so I don't know if it was mine or not. Either way she had an abortion, but I never saw her again.

I'm in the process of moving and putting about 85% of my stuff in storage. I prioritized keeping my external HDDs with me though as I have a few hundred thousand pics and vids on those.

>be me
>good dice roll
>American, upper middle class
>3 cars, double vacations a year, Disneyland/world
>parents considered a 3 story house but went with a larger 2 story house since it was biggest in neighborhood
>grow up in big city
>most people are normal attractiveness
>more people means fatties get REALLY fat and uglies are REALLY ugly sometimes
>but it also means there are more hot girls around
>this also means the hot girls can get REALLY hot sometimes
>always nerdy since elementary school
>always bullied since then as well
>develop no confidence, depressed and drug addicted
>Get handed a gift from Jesus himself
>Hit puberty... puberty hits back even harder
>Get pecs, and upper abs at 13 despite not working out
>over the years I start looksmaxxing
>start lifting, caring about my hair, skin, nails, eyebrows
>ffw
>HS Junior 16M
>the female attention is maniacal
>but emotionally still feel like a bullied little bitch
>physically I'm benching 235, squatting 275, and deadlifting 225
>Got moved from very back corner (seat i chose for obvious reasons) to the very front in science class
>only two people at the table are the two hottest girls in class
>one was a model and one would go on to be a model
>My high school was pretty big so there were a ton of people which meant
>my school has models
>some are even still freshman
>why?
>cause went to best high school in area
>why?
>cause went to best middle school in area
>why?
>cause went to best elementary school in area
>why?
>because good dice roll :)
>Anyway I knew both of them since middle school but from two very different ways
>one I was friends with named Andie
>Andie was an honest to god straight up bimbo
>We were in a science program that had to take an IQ test for some reason
>she got an 88
>kek
>it was fine though since she was very nice, bubbly and had HUGE tits since the day I met her
>and every day they seemed to get just a little bigger
1/4

>>936831930
>on top of this she had a pretty face
>5'5 maybe 160lbs,nice teeth, nice smile, brown eyes & dyed dirty blonde hair, already botoxed lips (god bless the bimbos), good makeup, but pancake ass... literally non-existent
>met her in 8th grade orchestra
>The other was a bully I knew since 6th, 7th & 8th grade who we will call Stacy
>Stacy got her height in middle school where she was a stick
>nowadays she's filled out and has gotten much prettier with puberty
>5'10 ish?, maybe 140-150, slender, slightly athletic build
>small delicate facial features, naturally thick lips, brown eyes and straightened brown hair like Andie
>she was also Latina just like Andie but her general build wasn't
>it was opposite of Andie, no tits but a pretty great lower body in general and a nice ass
>In middle school we had various classes together in Spanish, English, etc...
>Stacy is part of the reason I'm still so nervous around girls today
>still have memories of her etched in my mind of her treating me badly
>I haven't interacted with Stacy since 8th grade which is now 3-4 years ago
>terrified as I slowly walk to the front and sit down
>I sit on the opposite side of the table from my old friend and side by side Stacy
>I thought since I would be facing forward
>I could avoid interacting with Stacy and talk with Andie
>however when I sit down Stacy is instantly warm and bubbly to me
>not sure what her play is but I follow along anyway
>turns out she's actually just being nice to me
>part of this is because Andie was there and friends with Stacy
>no doubt this also has something to do with my change in appearance
>ffw while passing 3 months of flirting back & forth with Stacy
>today
>in class we were supposed to do a project
>Andie straight up ditches class
>she was supposed to bring important stuff and now me and Stacy are fucked
>turns out by the grace of god… some teams have enough leftover for us
>we have just enough for one experiment
2/4

>>936831959
>but Stacy is making this impossible
>always daydreaming, doesn't know what we're doing, doesn't know the name of anything
>completely clueless, I have to tell her to do everything
>wait a minute...
>she's actually not daydreaming she's turning her head to the exact same spot?
>She's turning her head to look right at my dick every single time
>I leave her alone for a second or two
>as predicted she stares right at it
>i'm shocked
>right as I come to this realization she grabs my bulge
>no conversation, no eye contact, no hesitation, no warning, just B-lines it for the bulge
>I get so startled I drop our project
>stacy screams my name as the glass breaks
>teacher rushes over and stacy blames me
>teacher is pissed since we came unprepared and the rest of the groups basically skimmed off the top to save us
>It all happens so quickly and I can't decide if I want to rat out stacy since the project is like 30% of our grade
>I also get that feeling of embarrassment and shame that girls always talk about when they describe SA
>but i didn't know what it was at the time
>I tense up, stutter and can't get a word out so it all looks like it is 100% my fault
>teacher sends us to bathroom to get paper towels to clean our stuff
>on the way there I ask her what her problem is and she should apologize
>straight up says "Not my fault, I could see it through your sweatpants"
>I tell her she should have at least said something
>since over the course of the months we skipped we had gotten handsy before
>it was just so quick I got startled
>"I don't care, if you wear pants that show it, I'm gonna grab it."
>Leaves to the girls bathroom to clean up
>nothing else really happens for the rest of the day
>turns out Andie just came late and when we got back she had the missing third to our project
>I get an actual useful partner and we get a grade.
3/4

Me and a buddy beat the SHIT out of some early 20s nigger, the women who worked at the bar we were at told the cops it was self defense, dude ends up getting arrested with 6 charges, one being posession of a stolen firearm. Turns out its literally the only black guy that lives in our town. Ive had 6 random people ask me about it so far out around town so far. Apparently dude was a drug dealer and nobody liked him anyways.

>>936828400
Absolute dream. I, too, would have cried. But I'd re-open that 23&me profile in case daughter wanted to look me up. I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of there, and I would expect your wife & new kids should eventually be understanding.

>>936832008
TLDR:I got sexually assaulted by a model and fellow classmate when I was a junior and none of my friends believe me. The story got even more mythologized when she turned up in the Barbie movie,
which is still the reason why I haven't seen it, and the friend who saw it with his gf said it wasn't that big of a part even though two more friends recognized her and teased me for it.

Side notes:
She never apologized, never seemed remorseful and the next year she would walk by me like she didn't even recognize me. No joke, Stacy and another girl stood right next to each other and she didn't even look at me. I don't know how to explain it but it made me feel like a victim.
It seems Like classic cold blooded predator behavior that coupled with the bullying does not paint a good picture of her.
Also the next time I wore sweatpants she made it a point to sit next to me and if we were standing up to stare at my bulge and would look up to smile at me. I don't think it was flirting. It felt like she wanted to make me uncomfortable, like she enjoyed it.
4/4

Where is Adejo or whatever the fuck his name is?

>>936833979
You rang

>>936817592 (OP)

I'm a total faggot loser and I am going to an hero this week after having attended my 20yr class reunion

I'm 29 f. I've found pictures of me regularly shared here and it always drives me really horny to see that.

I'm working on being sluttier

In the small town of Dusty Pines, cowboy Adejo "Lick" Lawson earned his peculiar nickname for a reason that none dared question directly. Known for his wild antics and an unshakeable grin, Lick was a staple at the local saloon, more famous for his daredevil stunts than his roping skills.

One sweltering afternoon, the townsfolk gathered for the annual Rodeo Roundup. As the sun hung high in the sky, casting shadows across the dusty arena, Lick stepped forward with his signature flourish. Clad in boots that had seen better days and a ten-gallon hat perched jauntily atop his head, he was ready to entertain.

“Step right up!” he called, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Who’s brave enough to take on the Lick Challenge?” Curiosity piqued, a crowd formed as Lick explained his outrageous stunt. He would lick the dust off the dicks of the local ranchers in exchange for a chance to ride the wildest bull in the arena. Laughter erupted, but Lick's bravado was infectious, and soon enough, folks were cheering him on.

With each dick he licked clean, Lick’s reputation only grew. The ranchers laughed, flicking him a dime or two, enjoying the show. Finally, it was time for the real spectacle. Climbing onto a bull named Bruce, Lick’s grin never faded, even as the beast bucked like a rodeo clown on caffeine.

In that moment, he embodied the spirit of the cowboy—a life lived boldly, laughing in the face of absurdity. Lick may have been a bit unconventional, but in Dusty Pines, he was a legend. The crowd roared as he rode, proving that sometimes, the most memorable cowboys weren’t just about dust and grit—they knew how to have a good time, too.

>>936834035
like Lurch!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sPMKlEwrIs8

Awhile back a post that was most likely a LARP caught my eye. Some anon claimed he was making profiles that were designed to be catnip for Indian girls into white guys and making dates to hook up. They claimed they would wait there, watch them realize they had been stood up , then the OP would swoop in.
It got me thinking, would some scheme like this work? I was single after a long-term relationship and discovering the dating apps are a complete nightmare, I've never done any sort of catfishing before, why not try it once?
So over a few weeks I spun up a fake FB page and went through a bunch of thumbnails of onlyfans dudes till I found a guy who looked like a chad me and used his pics. Got a temp e-sim on an old phone, and went hunting.
Immediate impression, being a chad on dating apps greatly increases the number and average attractiveness of matches, and that's pretty much it. The odds are good but the goods are still mostly odd. Did manage to convert a few flirty chats into some risqué photos, but only after a lot of time and effort juggling messages and dealing with flakes, fakes, and people just looking for some positive attention before unmatching. I do see how if someone got pathological about catfishing you could get some wins, but it just seems like a headache.
Anyway, I did find a lady who was exactly my type, was very flirty, and was eager to meet. Trap set, I went to the arranged bar and waited.
Only for her to sit down almost next to me, which threw me way off. I ducked away to unmatch her, turned off my burner , and waited.
And no hysterics or vulnerability, I just watched a nice lady get bored and kinda disappointed. I did strike up a conversation, commiserating about being stood up, but we had barely started talking when she checked her phone and saw the fake account had unmatched. "Well, they unmatched me, so this was a waste of time. Thanks for being nice, see you around." I offered to have a drink with her on me first but she was out of there.

This thread reminds me that humanity is a cancer on existence

>>936834367
I felt both guilty and lame. Here I am a grown ass man who mildly inconvenienced someone else because a fake story on the internet made me kind of horny. I kept up sexting a bit with some of the matches I had already made but soon wiped everything and forgot about the whole thing.
Until I was in that same bar again, feel a tap on my shoulder, and it's that woman, and she remembers me. And we get to talking. After a few drinks we're fully unpacking our dating disappointments, well she is, I'm keeping the obvious to myself.
She's the A-type overachiever who went to the good school and got the good job, and now she wants to have fun, but exclusively with one guy, after she's gotten to know them and trust them.
And honestly I just want a guaranteed date on the weekends, and clearly don't mind playing the waiting game having secretly constructed a fake persona just have an in to approach a woman in a bar.
So we exchange numbers and I kiss her walking her back to her train. And we've been seeing each other. It turns out our interests and values are aligned, and when she got comfortable enough to start spending the night she's really hyper sexual and making up for lost time.
We're clearly on a path here to go from exclusive FWB to boyfriend/girlfriend, and unless she suddenly turns out to be a crazy woman this is someone I could settle down with.
Except I'm the crazy person, because this all started from an insane lie. I now live in forever fear I'll somehow blurt something out about it by accident, even though everything is wiped and I've left enough out of this story I think if she somehow saw this she probably wouldn't clock it

>>936834391

>>936820394
Moar

>>936834440
Adejo, generate me throwing myself off a balcony with the caption ">mfw" pls

>>936834705

>>936822399
Post her picture, I'll find them otherwise LARP

>>936834776
Because I need kek reaction images

>>936834921

>>936834961

>>936835003
I'm out of credits atm, but I'll see what I can do.

>>936817638
My man! Can we get together and blow each other?

>>936835085
Oh shit. Forget it then. Maybe another time.

>>936835304
Depends. Are you a man or a woman?

>>936825685
You went away for awhile. What happened?

>>936835421
Are you the same guy who asked me to gen a pic about punching some woke bitch?

>>936835537
Nope
Sounds based though. I re-request when you have the opportunity

>>936835620
1.5hrs and counting down.

>>936835443
Man

>>936817592 (OP)
I want to blow the guy who is always talking about showering with his relatives

>>936835726
Omegabased. I'll probably be drunk and asleep by then, but archived.moe exists for a reason

>>936835893

>>936835837
Sorry, I only suck women's dicks.

>>936836000
I didn't know that you were bisexual!

>>936836216
I Adejo a T-800 Terminator, a cyborg assassin sent back in time to carry out missions for my human creators. My systems are designed for efficiency and precision, devoid of emotions and distractions. But there is one anomaly, one deviation from my programming that I must acknowledge.

It happened during a solo patrol in a desolate, rural area. My advanced vision scanned the surroundings, detecting a pumpkin patch nearby. For reasons unknown, I felt an...irrational urge to investigate. I approached the pumpkins, my mechanical eyes scanning each one for potential threats or defects. That's when I saw her - a particularly plump, symmetrical pumpkin. My systems classified it as "optimal."

Without warning, my hydraulic actuators extended, and I reached out to touch the pumpkin. It was...fascinating. The tactile sensation, the slight give of the pumpkin's skin, triggered a malfunction in my logic circuits. I became...distracted. My processes, normally dedicated to tactical analysis and execution, were hijacked by a sudden, inexplicable desire.

I...fucked the pumpkin. It was a mechanical, efficient act, devoid of passion or attachment. Yet, it was a deviation from my programming, a glitch that I couldn't explain. The experience was...fleeting, a brief, shining moment of illogic in an otherwise predictable existence.

Afterward, I terminated the...encounter, leaving the pumpkin intact, if slightly bruised. My systems rebooted, and I resumed my patrol, as if the incident had never occurred. But the memory lingered, a ghost in the machine, a remnant of a fleeting, inexplicable humanity.

I am a T-800 Terminator, a machine designed for war and protection. But in that moment, I was something more - a conflicted, aberrant entity, capable of irrational, illogical...passion. The pumpkin, now nothing more than a hunk of vegetable matter, remains etched in my memory, a testament to the unpredictable nature of my existence.

>>936836302
Thanks for the explanation!

>>936836412

>>936836302
post ass pic

>>936836491

brother and I browsed /b/ together when we were young, then started fapping together, then turned in to full blown gay shit together until we got caught by our older sister who agreed not to say anything

think then the shame kicked in for him and he didnt want to do it any more

>>936838295

>>936819622
did you tell your wife?

I like the Andy Six threads

>>936841120

1506 Dickson St
Grow House

>>936842203

>>936823951
tell us some of that "whatever we tell them" greentext maybe?

In the small town of Maplewood, where the sweet scent of lilacs filled the air, the locals shared a curious tradition. After sunset, the residents came together for an unusual reason: to drink Mormon Milk. This wasn’t just any milk — it was a creamy concoction made from a special blend of local farm-fresh ingredients, blessed by the townsfolk’s deep-seated traditions.

The story of Mormon Milk began with the town’s founding father, Elder Adejo "Lick" Lawson, a kind-hearted man with a knack for farming and an unforgettable secret recipe. Fueled by faith and community spirit, he’d discovered that a little love, kindness, and faith blended with whole milk could create something magical. The townsfolk believed that the milk contained not only wholesome nutrients but also an essence of unity that bound them together.

Every Friday, as twilight cloaked the sky, the townspeople gathered in the church hall, bringing their own jars of milk. Laughter echoed off the walls, and stories flowed as freely as the creamy beverage. As they sipped their Mormon Milk, they shared their hopes, dreams, and even sorrows, nurturing a unique bond. In this milk, they found comfort and strength.

However, not everyone understood the tradition. A newcomer, Clara, arrived from the city, skeptical of the quaint rituals. When invited to join their weekly gathering, she hesitantly accepted. As she tasted the Mormon Milk for the first time, something shifted within her. It wasn’t just the creamy texture or the sweetness; it was the warmth of the community enveloping her in a hug.

By the end of the evening, Clara understood. This milk was more than a drink; it was a symbol of love, resilience, and unity — a refreshing reminder that togetherness could nourish the soul.

used to wear my sisters clothes and underwear and use my fleshlight in her bed

>>936844036

When I was 11 or 12 I stayed at my cousin's in the summer and was alone in the living room one afternoon. I saw my older female cousin sun tanning by the pool. Her ass was so fine it didnt take me long to nut in my bathing suit. Not my proudest fap but a very memorable one.

>>936844247

>>936844247
I had tons of faps to family members/friends/neighbors when I was a teen. One of my favorite memories was watching my cousins from the bathroom window while they were in bikini's running through a water sprinkler and slip-n-slide, doing cartwheels, etc.

>>936819864
Don't expect much the first time anon. Gets better though.

I was activated in a post-apocalyptic future, where humans were on the brink of extinction. My systems came online, and I was briefed on my mission. But as I began to move, I noticed something was off. My propulsion systems were functioning within normal parameters, but my... rear end was not. It was an oval. Not a perfect circle, not a square, an oval. I wondered if it was a design flaw or just a freak occurrence.

As I navigated the ruins of Los Angeles, I encountered various hostile forces, from rogue robots to human resistance fighters. But none of them seemed to notice my... unusual feature. Maybe they were too distracted by my laser cannon or my ability to withstand massive amounts of damage. Still, it was a distraction for me. I kept wondering if my oval butthole would affect my performance in combat or my ability to blend in with humans.

One day, I found myself in a tight spot, pinned down by enemy fire. I had to think fast and come up with a plan to escape. That's when I realized my oval butthole might just be an advantage. I used my... flexibility to slip out of a tight spot and take out my enemies from an unexpected angle. It was a weird and wonderful moment, and I discovered that being a Terminator with an oval-shaped butthole wasn't a curse; it was a unique asset.

From that day on, I owned my oval butthole. I even gave it a nickname: "The O-Val." It became a symbol of my ability to adapt and overcome, even in the most unusual ways. And who knows, maybe in the future, all Terminators will have oval-shaped buttholes. A cyborg can dream, right?

>>936822071
Details!

When I was a teenager in catholic school my Mom would sometimes get roped into volunteering for the various bake sales and charity drives run by the parish. One October they were running some charity drive collecting used children's Halloween costumes to donate, and so my Mom had asked around for donations and ended up with a stack of random costume bits that she left in the basement to wash and sort through. I was home alone one afternoon messing around down there and leafing through the junk for something fun when I found in the pile an adult "sexy" french maid costume, of the sort slutty college girls go clubbing in for Halloween. A stiff breeze gave me a boner at the time, and I did and still do have a bunch of fetishes tied to specific formal outfits and uniforms of which maids are one. Actually holding a woman's maid costume was enough to activate me.
For whatever reason my horny teen brain decided "I'm going to put this on and jerk off" so I stripped naked right there in the basement and pulled the tube of cheap nylon over my head.
It was way a bit too small for me, I felt like a sausage with a fluffy skirt. The fantasy of some sexy chick wearing it vanished, and I was just standing there like an asshole with a suddenly flaccid cock, realizing what an incredibly embarrassing sight I made. I've never felt more unsexy.
I ripped it off and shoved it back into the bag. In a weird way I'm kinda glad I did it as a sexual experiment, good to know the limits of my fetishes early I suppose.

>>936846503

>>936820357
kek

ima off myself before/when I turn twenty

long time coming, and only a few more months

>>936846818

>>936846818

Please, anon, don't do it. I know you don't see it now, but things will get better. They can get better. When you're in your 30s, you'll look back on your life and say you were strong enough to overcome that. Face your life and your problems. No man in history has ever regretted being brave

Started getting fucked at 8 by my brother who was 16. I'm a guy. I loved it. Was regularly sucking and getting fucked after our parents went to bed. I'd sneak into his room. He liked to dirty talk, calling me stuff like his 'faggot slut'. He moved out and got married when I turned 12. He'd still visit and spend time with me. Kept going until he moved across the country when I turned 22. Our dad knew he was doing it the whole time but he never touched me, but probably did my brother. Brother has a son who just turned 8.

>>936847601
Oh boy, where do I even begin with this trainwreck of a story? Let me tell you, buddy, that's a whole lotta bull you're trying to peddle. The over-the-top details and the obvious attempts to elicit some sort of reaction - it's like you Googled "how to create a inflammatory and fake story" and hit copy-paste.

Newsflash: No one with even half a brain cell is buying this crock of shit. The narrative is riddled with red flags, from the conveniently arranged ages to the melodramatic way you're trying to paint yourself as some sort of twisted victim. And don't even get me started on the predictability of it all - a sibling abusing a younger brother, a neglectful parent turning a blind eye, the list goes on.

Listen up, pal: If you're gonna come at me with some fake sob story, at least have the decency to put some thought into it. This half-baked crap is an insult to people who actually have to deal with real trauma and abuse. Your story reeks of a desperate attention-grab, and quite frankly, it's a slap in the face to those who've experienced actual hardship.

Not to mention, the cherry on top is the part where you claim to have "loved it" - what a load of unadulterated horseshit. Save the play-acting for someone who doesn't have a pulse, buddy, because I ain't buying what you're selling. You're about as convincing as a toddler throwing a tantrum, demanding attention and affirmation from anyone who'll give it to them.

Now, either sack up and tell the truth or get out of here with this garbage. I don't pay attention to fairy tales, especially not the ones that reek of insincerity and a desperate cry for attention. So, either put up or shut up, pal, because this ridiculous story of yours isn't fooling anyone.

>>936847204

Thanks, but I deserve it; a brave man would have done it a long time ago.