>>936827673No, the reality is: not a single one of your friends realises they sexually assaulted someone.
that's the difference.
I have.
I would've been 20, maybe 21. we'd gone to a big event, and a shared hotel room. We'd flirted on and off for previous months, so it was a semi-date-ish, though we were never really a couple. And I hit off on her, and she said no. I didn't listen. kept flirting, being physically intimate and she eventually let me.
well, another 20+ years hindsight and a lot more time listening to women instead of just trying to fuck them, what did I do? I didn't listen when she didn't consent. I sexually assaulted her without her consent. She might've eventually let me, but it wasn't her choice, it was getting badgered into it.
I'll never be charged for it, I'll probably never meet her again. But that will have to weigh on my conscience for the rest of my life.
And that's the kind of story I've heard from so many women I know.
And more importantly, those guys who are habitual in not observing consent will not do it to just one woman. They'll do it to each one they meet. Be that them being gropers, be that them being "feck her while she's asleep", or being "she was drunk", after they've plied her with that extra double she said no to, and so on. And they move from one to the next, leaving a trail in their wake. Or, like me, its someone who didn't listen one time when young and horny, and it takes them till they're way older to think back on the past and go "shit. that time? I was way too pushy."
Rape isnt always some beating her up or threat with a knife if she wont let you fuck her situation. Sexual assault can be groping her, or just ignoring consent. And that is something a lot of guys don't understand that they've done at least once, because to them, it wasn't anything significant at all.