>>936928239 (OP)
Prrrrrrrrrrrt! *ploop*

>>936928844
!!!

>>936928997
Hnnnnnnnt! BRAAAAAAAAAAP!
FUCK!!!!

>>936929621
Hmmm....

these pictures look stupid.
please stop posting them

>>936931608
s-stupid? fren i...

>>936928239 (OP)
Meds, A.

Fat, useless, brown NEET.

>>936931933
My anus just produced a groaning fart. The stench is a sweet fruity smell. Just thought you'd like to know.

>>936931933
dat not nice

>>936928239 (OP)
And now it's time to play...

L O G F A G ?
or
A G E N T • L E A R Y ?

braun

>>936939505
Braun Scheiße!

The Avenger of /b/

Is this the guy always posting those Andy memes?

AAAAAAA PLS FUCKING HELP ME I AM INDIAN PLS HELP ME!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM INDIAN PLS HELP ME SAAAR AAAAAAAAAAAA I AM FUCING INDIAN!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>936928239 (OP)
Youbare spam. You are worhless.

>>936945263
Hm

derp!

>Um actually originally Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker were intended to be the same person, it wasn't until the second draft of The Empire Strikes Back that Lucas decided the make him Luke's father *snorts*

BRLRLRLR JIMIDI DOP DOP DOP YES YES

Hhuurreeeeeg!!!!!!

im trans btw

>>936928239 (OP)
Fun fact, this is technically possible, your eyes can pop out of the sockets and look like this, it's a condition called globe luxation

it's called being a fag, retard

>>936947340
>>936947513
>>936947713

worst thread ever award

>>936948698
It's not as good as a standard log thread, but I still chuckled. Better than another porn thread.

Not sure how this thread is still here but I'm digging it.

I used to frequent a truckstop strip club. (It's as bad as it sounds.)
Most of the girls there were pretty bedraggled. A few were obviously meth heads who had almost a full set of teeth between them.
And then there was Sharla. I was in my early 30s and she was pushing 50. Not terrible looking, but definitely getting a bit long in the tooth.
She hadn't quite given up on life yet, but she was wearing thin. I figured she would make a great target.
I picked her for a lap dance. She seemed surprised. She apparently hadn't gotten a request for that in years. She would normally hit the stage later in the evening after most of the patrons were at least a few drinks in.
But I buttered her up. Made her feel special. I kept coming back, at first once a week, then two or three times.
One regular night, I didn't show up at my normal time. Instead I came by just at closing. Sharla was already heading to her car. I pulled up and rolled down the window.
The dejected look on her worn face changed into something resembling a joyous grin.
I asked her if she wanted to go grab a bite to eat.
She eagerly agreed.

We went to McDonald's. She was a cheap date.

We talked. She told me about her life. Divorced, no kids, recovering alcoholic, barely making ends meet as a stripper for the last ten years. Sober for five years and three months.

I told her I thought she was beautiful and that I would like to see her again, not just "on business".

She considered it for a few seconds, then said "Sure!"

We dated for a few weeks. I took her out to Applebee's, Ruby Tuesday, O'Charley's, pleb-tier shit like that.

I bought her a ceramic rabbit thing she saw online. It was only twenty bucks, but she treasured it.

I went to her apartment and started spending nights there. The sex was okay. Getting off is getting off.
She was clean and not too hideous for her age.

Sometimes she'd stay at my place.

>>936955342
One day I told her I was going to go shopping. She asked if she could come with, and I said, "Most times yeah I'd say you could but... Not this time. It's gonna be a surprise."

I gave her my most winning smile, slightly hinting at something really nice.

I called up one of my other girls, a fuck buddy who was probably at least 7/10, maybe a 7.5 after a few beers. I asked if she wanted to come over and fuck.
She's almost always DTF. This day was no different.

After I got off the phone with her, I called up Sharla. "Hey sweet thing. I got a surprise for you! Can you come by at 2?"

"Sure!" she said, elated. When my other girl came over, I made sure to leave the door unlocked and cracked.

At two o'clock, Sharla walked into my apartment to see me railing this twenty something blonde bimbo from behind. I turned around and gave Sharla the most disgusted look and said, "What the fuck? I said to come by at two thirty! Why are you here so early?"

The look of absolute devastation and desolation on her lined face was fucking hilarious.

I was surprised she didn't run. She simply turned and walked out.
"Who the fuck was that?" my fuck buddy asked, more curious and annoyed than angry.
"My landlady. Sorry, I forgot to lock the door!"
I continued fucking her in the ass.

Sharla, I would later find out, went home, making one stop at the liquor store. She bought a bottle of something cheap I'm sure, got completely wasted, then blew her brains out with a .357.

For all intensive purposes, she was a waist of skin, and too week to survive in this doggy dog world.

>be me
>be 27
>be 2017
>be huge chris hansen fan
>was bummed when to catch a predator went off the air
>now hansen vs predators is in full swing
>stings are happening again
>pedos are getting caught
>get an idea
>heard about this discord thing
>create an account
>start making the rounds
>soon find a sketchy server
>immediately see obv bait acct
>chat "her" up
>oh youre 13 and love roblox?
>wow youre so mature for your age
>obv a grown ass man thinking hes hooked a sucker
>"she" tells me shes lonely
>oh sure sweety
>boys her age are so immature
>classic decoy language!
>chats go on for a week
>she sends photos
>probably middle school photos of a 30yo producer lol
>we talk about meeting
>"she" says to bring condoms
>painfully obv decoy tactic!
>this is it
>we arrange a time to meet at "her" house
>write a lengthy message to "her"
>first letter of the first word of each sentence adds up to spell:
>i know this is chris hansen im a huge fan
>will use this as my defense when im inevitably tackled by cops
>night of the meeting
>"her" parents are away
>bring my chris hansen glossy to be autographed
>show up to the house
>know the cops are already out there waiting
>soon as i park, get out of car and immediately shout
It's okay! I'm here to meet Chris Hansen!
>chuckle to myself as im sure theyre all confused
>stride confidently to the back door and knock
>sweet decoy voice calls out from inside
Coming!

cont'd

>>936955414
>wait a few seconds and the door opens
>the most vulnerable looking girl ive ever seen stands before me looking nervous
>wow this decoy is very convincing!
>matches the pics they sent
>weird theyd have her greet me like that tho
>shes probably packing a full can of mace
>push past her and barge into the house
Hey Chris! You here? It's okay! I'm not a predator! I'm here for your autograph!
>march into the kitchen
>classic layout, island in the middle where id be asked to take a seat
>eagerly await the emergence of my pedo slayer hero
>the decoy meekly wanders in behind me, a confused look on her face
Who's Chris?
>admire her dedication to the bit
It's okay, you can drop the act. I'm not here to have sex with a minor. You see that I've brought no condoms.. All I have is this picture I'd like him to autograph.
>watch her eyes glaze over as her brain bluescreens
>absolute confusion colors this young girls face
>in the light of the kitchen i see her better
>this decoy looks really young
>like actually 13 young
Look, I'm sorry to use your resources like this, but I'm only here to meet Chris Hansen.
>her eyes go wide open
You mean... the online creep catcher guy?
>tears start to gather in her eyes
Am I... in trouble?
>wonder why shes asking me that

cont'd

>>936955460
>still no sign of chris
>start looking around kitchen for hidden cameras
>notice theres not really anywhere for a full camera crew to hide as i can see all adjoining rooms quite well
>slowly turn to her
>tears streaming down her face now
I'm sorry! This was a mistake please don't tell my mom and dad!
>feel like ive been hit by a truck
>pull out a chair and collapse into it
>realize my mouth is hanging open
>close it
Hey, c'mere.
>she slowly walks over to me
>hold out my hand
>explain everything
>tell her im not going to tell her parents
>warn her about how horrible some people really are
>spend several hours talking about her life and school and body image issues
>bizarre and surreal experience
>give her big hug before i leave
>tell her to be way more careful in the future
>chat on discord more
>totally different vibe now ofc
>stay in touch for years
>going to her college graduation next year
>says shes happy with her bf
>tell her im gonna ask my gf to marry me
Turns out what she really needed that night was a big brother. I'm so glad I'm who she chatted with instead of an actual creep.