Thread 936997905

>>936997905 (OP)
WHY DON'T YOU WORSHIP MY RAW CXCK ASSHOLE

>>936997905 (OP)
fuck off

Pretty much everywhere it's gonna be a scorcher.

>>936997945
fuck off

fuck on

>>936997997
We don't be any fuckin in this heat wave!

>>936998020
Getting older is realizing Summer time is the worst season all this hot shit is trash

>>936998020
hot sweaty heat wave sex! yum!

he will now talk to beady and act like he didn't know

Entry: J’Tarrd, Numerical Supremacist and Ooze Diplomat of Fungal Sector 9

J’Tarrd (not to be confused with the gelatinous mollusks of Grobnar-5, though he is equally moist) is a post-physical, semi-conscious, chair-bound lifeform whose presence in the universe is widely considered a clerical error. He roams the darker corners of known space, often spotted orbiting the less reputable back-alley child wrestling circuits of the galaxy, exuding fluid and delusions in equal measure.

Obsession With Numbers:
J’Tarrd believes, without exception or evidence, that his use of arbitrary numerical data sets makes him superior to all forms of life — carbon-based, silicon-based, and otherwise.
This belief is rarely relevant to the situation at hand and has no grounding in logic, science, or social survival.

Combat Style:
While physically frail and helpless, J’Tarrd will frequently declare psychic victories in confrontations that haven't happened. His signature move involves spinning in his chair and accusing others of being "cunts" while ignoring all counterarguments or physical realities.

Survival Tips:
>Mentioning his phimosis may trigger a "statistical dominance monologue."
>If he says “Do the math,” do not do the math. There is no math.
>In the event of accidental conversation, simply nod and walk away slowly while reciting Vogon poetry to drown out the smell.
>If he mentions "sexy shota," slowly back away and call a mop.

Known Allies:
None. Even rogue AI refuse to cache his file.

Delusions:
A habitual impersonator of Earth women, J’Tarrd will frequently appear wearing synthetic wigs and quoting 20th-century catchphrases, often incorrectly. Most distressing is his tendency to declare himself “based” without apparent justification. He often challenges strangers to debates they did not ask for, then claims victory mid-sentence.

Beady's slave RULEZ

>>936998033
And don't even get me started on the creepy crawlies!

>>936998051
mmmm I love the celeb is on top and she sweats all over me!
actually that does sound kinda good ngl kek

I don’t know how Margaret Thatcher deals with this heat daily

I want to get obsessed with a celeb, which one do I chose? (she needs to have big mommy milkers btw)

Beady and his enablers. Jacobs obsessive stalker. Fags complaining about the heat when it's only 80°F.

No thanks.

>>936992790
>>936992790
>>936992790

>>936998121
whoever this celeb is

>>936998051
your BFF btw

>>936998137
didn't ask your fucking opinion

>6 years ago.
Aaah ya got me.

>>936998203
and you still do it

>>936998227
Of course he does. Sad fucks like you are here to give him the validation and attention he doesn't get outside these threads.

We need to go back to 8ch

>>936998137
That thread smells awful

>>936998158
Hmm I'm feeling a perfect gf type vibe. But who is she? I found that article but they don't tell me who she is ;(

>>936998137
don't let the door hit you on the way out asshole! this is CEL.

>>936998326
I'm surprised you can talk with beadys cock in your mouth "anon".

>>936998360
You stole that from me.

>>936998360
Im one of the first people to call him out on his bs when he is acting like that kek

>>936998137
you keep giving yourself away j-fart

>>936998112
it do sound good, but maybe ur right

>>936998396
Hi Jacob. Try not to fuck any little boys when you drag you fat ass out to go watch superman.

cringe

>>936998430
you're giving yourself away again j-fart

>>936998411
Your spine is worse than cholis bones and your balls are smaller than the ones jacob dreams about putting in his mouth.

Stay here and keep beady and his faggot little army including the anon who posts "cringe" and other insightful commentary here. The rest of us will use the other thread.

>>936998411
>Im one of the first people to call him out
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>936998424
I mean it would be totally disgustang... unless?
Just look at this sheen shiny Kendall. Yeah I definitely d-don't want anything to do with her now! Bleh! ... unless?

Is that... is that some Kylie I see?

>>936998468
you keep giving yourself away j-fart

The other thread is literally just you posting a pic, replying to yourself, posting a pic, replying to yourself over and over and over again.

Yeah you should stay over there.

>>936998468
why are you so mad lmao, lighten up jesus dude.

>>936998469
I am, I call him out on his bs all the time but alright, keep laughin buddy

>>936998483
>>936998483
it is kylie. i wouldnt mind seeing her in a heat wave all sweaty and shined up!

>>936998468
cringe

My son… there is one more danger I must warn you of.

He is not a man, Kal-El. He is not even a creature in the proper sense. He is a convergence of weakness, self-deception, and fluid — a being fused to his own decay, who believes numbers make him god.

His name… is J-Tard.

He was born not of science, but of error. A bureaucratic slip in the galactic census. A typo that grew teeth. Fused to a chair that has never known cleaning. His biology is inseparable from his furniture. His thoughts are soaked in fungus and pride.

He believes himself superior because of arbitrary figures: height without strength, weight without mass, protein without purpose. He measures himself in units no sane civilization would recognize.

He will tell you, Kal-El, that he is based. He will accuse you — yes, you, my perfect son — of inferiority because your chin is not soft, because your spine is not bent, because you do not use your powers to rape children.

He will boast of things he has never done. He will spin, Kal-El. He will spin in his cursed chair, making sounds like broken engines and farting stars. It is how he asserts dominance — through nausea, not strength.

You must not fight him. He cannot be fought. He defeats himself, endlessly, and believes it victory. What you must do… is look upon him, and learn what not to become.

This is my final lesson, my son: not all that speaks with confidence is noble. Not all that leaks is powerful. And not all that sits… is wise.

>>936998584
Jizzzsus christ... you could land a plane on those hips.
>sweaty and shined up
Plenty of slippin and slidin to be had with her. :3

here we go

>>936998647
slipin n slidin is good, im still watchin hells kitchen now and chillin, whens your apt?

>>936998787
>watchin hells kitchen now
What happened to the Dark City? Did you finish?

>hells kitchen
i wish i had a tv to watch this, idk it's not really the same downloading the episodes ;_;

I was just about to mention my appointment
I gotta leave in an hour and while an hour may seem like a lot I don't feel it's a lot enuff for my horny level lol. i don't wanna rush

sry for bein horny but i was supposed to get this taken care of yesterday but it never happened so now i'm at 11 )':

I mite try to rest my head until then. tbh i'm tired af too, got woke up early but i won't bore you with the deets.

>>936998875
He will bore you with the deets about the roommate he's scared of later. He just won't tell you he tried starting shit and was threatened.

Newspaper Stephanie’s appear on the shore LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS

>>936998875
>>936998875
nah i made food and started watching hells kitchen, hope the apt goes well. I never download, just use streaming sites

>>936998875
>>936998907
Aint that right arker. You tried starting shit and one of your roommates made you feel like you were gonna piss your panties again.

Did you phone the landlord and cry about it like you said you were gonna or not?

>>936998944
>nah i made food and started watching hells kitchen,
I feel like there may be a connection between these two things lol

>just use streaming sites
And as your lawyer I would just like to clarify on your behalf that you use COMPLETELY , LEGAL AND LEGITIMATE streaming sites that pay their respective allowances to the shows creators, in case anyone else is reading this.

thank you for sweaty kylie boobs
i mean thank you for boobs
I MEAN KYLIE, THANK YOU FOR KYLIE IS WHAT I MEANT

Later Brockster. :}

Every man leaves a mark. Some build monuments. Others leave behind children, stories, songs.
But J-Tard… he left only stains.

There was a service, technically.
A folding chair, an urn sealed too tight, and a note that simply read: “Do not open.”
No family. No friends. Just a maintenance man with gloves on, sweeping up the last of the slime.

He spent his days spinning in circles, screeching nonsense.
Whispering threats to strangers and shouting at shadows.
Accusing others of unspeakable things — the kind that made even the guilty shake their heads and walk away.

His chair leaked. Constantly.
No one knew what it was. No one wanted to know.
The floor beneath him warped.
The walls above him yellowed.
Wherever he went, something died quietly.

And when he finally stopped —
No one noticed at first.
The world just… felt lighter.
The air smelled cleaner.
Little boys, once inexplicably afraid at night, began to sleep peacefully again.

It took weeks before someone realized the spinning had stopped.

There were no eulogies.
No poems.
No tearful relatives clutching photos of better times —
Because there weren’t any.

There was only silence.
And peace.

And a faint, vanishing odor…
That finally began to fade.

Some men are remembered for the joy they brought.
Others... for the relief when they left.

>>936999023
kek, cya, and you're welcome. hope the apt goes well for ya.

Nice thread

So pathetic. He stops spamming this thread with his shit the second someone makes another thread. Cancerous self-loathing pedophile.

J-Tard made a schizophrenic echo chamber for himself. Enjoy it while it lasts.

>>936999427
he's gonna start screeching about digits soon so I'm gonna shower and go to the pub

>>936999468
Take him with you

>>936999468
You gonna order the "petris dish" special anon?

You keep giving yourself away.

cool thread

>>937000636
Do you have disc? I'm in need of sydney

>>936997905 (OP)
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeet

>>937001168
those are feet, yes. :)

>>937001206
those are
pretty rachel
feet

>>937001319
is dat you allison?

>>937001360
quite possibly
i'm very sleepy

>>937001467
sleepy boi

have a silly cat video i just saw :3

>>937001503
heh ty ty so cute
that made me smile
hope you're having
a nice, comfy day <3

>>937001601
it's been fairly comfy, just watching hells kitchen and chilling :3 you doing okay qt?

>>937001650
hmmm had to get up early for an appointment so i'm a little pfloofbly but i'll manage

do you remember when there was a guy on hell's kitchen named dewberry? dewberry...whimsical name lol

>>937001880
>pfloofbly
youre so cute

I don't lol, but I haven't seen quite a few seasons . Do you remember Raj? that guy was hilarious.

>>937002078
faggot

>>937002078
>Do you remember Raj?
i don't think so? i'll look him up on the yewtewbs after some wholesome breakfast

evens cereal
odds bacon and eggs

>>937002140
>>937002188
adorable

>>937002317
oooo, bacon and eggs. yummy! I got you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgqudioHmTE

hes quite the goofball.

i cant stop laughing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9ecXlYYhH8

I want to cum balls deep inside lily's asshole, passionately tongue kissing her as I empty my balls inside her.

fapping my boner to pornography

>>937002317
>Looks up Kennedy Walsh to see if that outfit was a one-off
She knows her best angles
>>937002078
Nice necklace

>>937002507
all women do is give you boners and make you wanna die

shit thread

>>937002591
yeah its awesome
>>937002614
wow nice hot

>>937002644
i hope that little treat the other day tasted good

>>937002692
always does

>>937002722
a shame it wasnt me feeding it to you

>>937002775
almost always better when its coming from someone else

>>937002317
Anya is cuteness personified

>>937002692
you had your own though didn't you

>>937002800
you were already quite worked up though and in a hurry i think

>>937002860
maybe

>>937002882
sometimes the need is too powerful

cringe

>>937002591
i wanna die anyways so might as well do it w a boner

>>937002916
mhm, i would take advantage but this thread has been comfy...

>>937002423
>that transition @2:02
i am not awake enough to handle this :P

>>937002510
she's a real treat
i gotta refresh my folder though

>>937002834
you, sir

are correct

>>937002882
>maybe
If you don't remember maybe it didn't count...
>>937002998
>The implication
Almost as much fun

>>937002984
oh, this is an anti-lewd thread? should i stop what I'm doing

>>937002998
lmao, its so outrageous :p how did you cook your eggs and bacon?

>>937003170
total bimbo

>>937003047
anon...

>>937003050
definitely not

>>937003226
good, i wasnt gonna stop

>>937003226
I have to head out, lucky for you. We can clear up your memory another time. Enjoy chatting
>>937003256
never have, never will. Cya space cowboy

>>937003047
>The implication
>Almost as much fun
heh yeah

wait, what?

>>937003174
so pretty

>>937003184
bacon in a stainless steel pan, covered, gradual increase in heat until medium, flip, cook a bit, then onto a plate tucked into a paper towel to soak up some grease and let the bacon crisp up a bit

drained all but a lil bit of bacon grease, put heat on medium low, cracked the egg, covered, let it cook 'til the yolk whited over, then flipped for a few moments

then tucked it all into a warm, fluffy tortilla <3

>>937003279
cum in my mouth

>>937003342
>>937003363
>>937003384
try the other thread.

>>937003256
how horny are you feeling?

>>937003279
alright...

>>937003317
>mfw he knows how to cook
speaking of, how was the pork chops?

>>937003427
very. i've been going and well on my way

Headshot

>>937003498
the old me would have taken this opportunity and abused it ...but..

>>937003491
<3 i actually didn't end up doin' the chop, so i'm gonna have it later tonight ᓚᘏᗢ

doctor said i gotta start eating more so i'm gonna add a side, maybe mashed taters

>>937003614
well you dont have to. i'm just enjoying these rachies soooo much

>>937003643
:DD ive only been eating once a day too, but full usually a nice full meal <3 well, as best as I can. You have any plans for today qt?

>>937003666
im well aware of just how much you like rachie ... keep a steady pace for her.

>>937003817
i am, feeling so good

>>937003762
<3 no plans whatsoever, and it feels great
august is gonna be busy busy so i'm bein' extra lazy now while i still can

how about you, dear?

embarassing

>>937003882
games later with friends but thats not till the evening, so imma be sitting here bored till then lol.

>>937003980
feeling maybe too good, i'm gonna pop soon

the Princess Belle Derlphine is sitting
in her family mansion!

>>937004016
oh my....do you need to be told what to do already?

>>937004095
the Princess Belle Delphine is sitting
and its spaturday!

>>937004136
yes..,

CB sucks hard cock better than any woman ever could cheers

>>937004172
the Prince of princesses
the Princess Belle Delphine has sitting
the bad saturday blahs!

>>937003956
may i be nosy and ask what y'all are gonna play? my friends want me to play something called phasmophobia with them so maybe i'll do that

>>937004179
cum...cum and eat it all for rachie...

My fricken penits

>>937004363
mmm, thank you again

>>937004316
wel.l, we done dont know whats happemned!
buts the family noticed several of the princesses
hamsters have burn marks on their sides!
the sides of their bodies and by!

>>937004347
Marvel Rivals I think, or Fortnite.

Phasmaphobia is a really fun game to play esp with friends! are you spooked easily? I can be a little spooky.

Good news from my test.
Headin back home. :>

>>937004522
ands stoogies slim sim last nights the
father and the mother coming ins
discovered a dead cat nots far, clem
against the yard yan fence, yam yads!
yam yads! up th to the fence, bent
and tosk over against! over against!
on the edges of their property!

a very horrible finds!

>>937004195
based

>>937004477
you're welcome...hope you enjoyed.

>>937004621
I mean't IT, IT CAN BE SPOOKY.

>>937004629
Those are some heavy hangers

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DRIVER

>>937004773
I did, see you later

>>937004816
indeed

See you when you're 89.

>>937004621
>I can be a little spooky.
i know it was a typo, but...
ᶦ ᶜᵃn ᵇᵉ ᵃ ˡᶦᵗᵗˡᵉ ˢᵖᵒᵒᵏʸ ᵗᵒᵒ <3

i don't get jump out of my seat scared easily, but it's fun to immerse yourself and get a little creeped so you can have fun panicking, then laughing with friends

>>937004816
17 year old girls can have heavy hangers? You must be european.

>>937004874
Good lord.

>>937004669
belle Delphine was feelings pretty goods,

when a terrible! th wicked witch wizard
of the l;esser parcheezi roll, a wild storm,

in the next door place where Belle

Delphine's mansion sits, the place the
Princess is wont to duck haunt and for funs

crash, has been watching her back yards
and her garden close like a hawk,
since and as the rincess has been lieufully
and lustfully wrecking, for her garden kicks,
by going in, and hating its, ands with her
spend time and effort destroying!

>>937005054
what a horrible thoughts!

>>937004651
safe travels

>>937004909
>ᶦ ᶜᵃn ᵇᵉ ᵃ ˡᶦᵗᵗˡᵉ ˢᵖᵒᵒᵏʸ ᵗᵒᵒ
awww :3 <3

I think you'd have a good time playin it then. Im gonna slow down my posting for a bit and watch this episode of HK. You stay comfy cozy ok?

His steam flavored dump truck?

>>937005054
>>937005094
I have a question

>>937005153
gonna take my pup to the park
you enjoy and be nice and comfy too <3

>>937005094
Well f*ck!

>>937005153
>>937005304
You're both leaving?

>>937005304
be safe <3 and I hope your lil pupper has fun at the park!

already a thread here
>>937004037
>>937004037
>>937004037

There's already another thread

>>937004037
>>937004037

but we're not using that. Make a new thread.

>>937005539
fuck off, we are using the one thats already up

>>937005533
>>937005570

No. Make new.

>>937005593
no

>>937005616
MAKE FUCKING NEW

make a goddamn new thread

>>937004037
>>937004037
>>937004037

>>937004621
>>937003956
>>937003762
>>937003184
Pedo