Thread 937077328

>be me
>23
>Cripple (paralyzed from the chest down)
>Poor
>Living with my shitty parents
>They are poor as well
>Dads an alcoholic with anger issues
>Mom has multiple mental health problems
>Bpd, bipolar, depression, anger issues, etc
>Parents always fighting and pickering over stupid shit
>Both like to dump their anger on me
>Also have five siblings, only two live at home anymore
>Same shit for them except my dad does not give a damn about the two youngest ones
>Doesn't even pay attenttion to them or interact with them at all
>We also have a dog in the middle of all this mess
>The house is always a damn dirty
>Can't even roll around in my crappy uncomfortable chair without getting stuck in some random shit
>When i complain about this my mother just starts yelling at me for daring to question her life choices, and says that i should clean the house if im not comfortable etc bullshit
>The building it self is also in a state of disrepair and rot
>My father does nothing about this (ofc)
>Same thing with our cars...

I mean what should i do?

Can't go to work

Can't go to school

Can't move away

Can't drive without a specialized car wich i can't afford

Don't have any money

The goverment does nothing to help

I dont't have any outside help (nurses etc) so im completely dependent on my parents

Can't really help my self at all in any meaningful way

The jackass who paralyzed me just got away, because the cops and the "justice" system are inept and corrupt where i live. So they just did the minimal bs "inspection" into my case and just declared that no one has done anything and my injury just manifested on it's own

This nightmare has gone on for almost nine years now and my health is starting to fail

Hopefully i die in a few years time because i can't take this anymore

How did you get crippled?

>>937077328 (OP)
have you considered suicide?

>>937077515
The dude beat my ass until a vein ruptured in my spinal cord cavity or wtf it is called and the bleeding destroyed the nerves in my spine resulting in paralysis

>>937077698
And you didn't sue for damages because...?

>>937077573
Many times, but i live in a socialist hellhole so no guns allowed.

And every other option that i've considered just sucks

>>937077328 (OP)
You should absolutely qualify for disability and possibly some government housing. You'll be living in an apartment with niggers all around you but at least you'll have your own place and a monthly check.

>>937077698
Why did he beat you?

>>937077770
Did you miss the part where he lives in a socialist shithole?

>>937077770
We tried but no lawyer will take my case because the doctor that operated on me ruled that the vein ruptured on it's own, and the lawyers that we could afford suck anyway.

>socialist hellhole
UK?

>>937077328 (OP)
Lot of people seem to have not read your post completely, OP. Damn man, that sucks. I often feel sorry for myself, but God... fuck, that it fucked. I know it doesn't mean much, but you have my utmost empathy. Reading your story literally made my heart sink into my stomach. This world is brutal, cruel, completely unforgiving. I'm not sure what I can tell you, other than maybe try to practice meditation and become less attached to your body. We're all going to die, many in horrible pain. I hope you're able to at least avoid much more suffering.

this can't be real....i refuse to believe someone's life could suck this much

>>937077328 (OP)
Civil case against the guy?
Such an Assault deserves retribution.
Would you consider getting help if you allowed our group to look into making him disappear or become an indentured worker in a remote province of china for many many long years. Ideally forever especially if it was in a Lek speaking area where lots of missing people go to serve their debts. The officials there are willing to look the other way if they receive their fair share of the indentured’s wages.

What are your thoughts?

>>937077847
Idk man, the shithole school that i went to was full of immigrants (muslims) and these hoodlum kids from my towns version of the bronx or something similar. Most of them were insane or just violent including the dude who beat the shit out of me

>>937078045
I figured it was something like that. Makes my heart hurt even more for you. I like to think that some day the people who let this happen will pay for what they've done.

>>937077978
Finland, basically the nordic version of the uk or australia. Don't believe the bs propaganda about the "happiest" country in the world. Most people here are alcoholics and poor

>>937078110
One can hope...

>>937077328 (OP)
>Cripple (paralyzed from the chest down)
I don't really see a reason you wrote whatever beyond...

>>937078016
Nothing out of the ordinary here

>>937078204
What do you mean?

>>937077328 (OP)
Does your penis still work or is it dead?
How do you go to the bathroom?

>>937078040
Fine by me, he can rot in shit all i care for

>>937078254
OP, you're imprisoned in your own body, this trumps any other issue you discussed later.

>>937078261
Basically dead, it does get hard from time to time but that does not last very long... And i can't really feel anything. I use catheters and have a colostomy bag

>>937078424
Yeah, but even if that's the prime cause of his suffering there is no reason he shouldn't share all the other things he's going through.

>>937078424
Oh yeah, it does. But just sucks living with other peoples problems and all...

>>937077328 (OP)
You could roll yourself into traffic or off a cliff

>>937078437
>Does your penis still work or is it dead?
>This can mean OP can't even defecate properly via utilizing the spinal defecation reflex.
It keeps getting fucking worse. >>937078499 Tell me you can, please.
>>937078470
I didn't say OP shouldn't, it's just that this is so severe and much more serious, can't even take a break from his poor excuse for a family.

>>937078005
Thanks man, some days are thankfully better than most. So sometimes i get a little "breather" from my daily shit. Btw sorry for the late answer, didin't expect to get all this attenttion

>>937078674
>Does your penis still work or is it dead?
>Basically dead

>>937078533
Id rather just blow my head to pieces, and we dont have any cliffs were i live

>>937078683
It's all good man, I think a lot of us think our lives are shit and getting confronted by a story like yours helps put it into perspective.

>>937078758
Death is a certainty, what can we look at that you can still derive some satisfaction from? Do you like reading or writing? What about drawing? Hopefully you're able to sleep, and dream. I find keeping a dream journal very therapeutic. I wish I could give you something better, but just want to make suggestions.

>>937078674
Nah, my dick is useless. Can't piss or shit either. Got the colostomy bag basically as an present for my 18th birthday.

>>937077328 (OP)
Just walk it off, bro

>>937078928
Walking on sunshine...

>>937078909
I don't know what to tell you OP, I would say get yourself a VR headset, but it would still be a retarded advice.

>>937078909
Bro... I can't even. I'm so sorry. I wish I could do something for you. Seriously, try some meditating and shit. Read some Buddhist or Stoic literature. Conversely maybe some pessimist stuff like Ligotti, Pessoa, or Cioran.

>>937078904
Well i rarely have dreams when i sleep and if i do they mostly consist of nightmares or just the most absurd and wierd shit. Sometimes i have good dreams but they are rare.

>>937079083
>Nightmares
>Absurd
>Weird
It's still a break in your reality- unless they're PTSD nightmares related to your injury, in which case that's a shit suggestion on my part.

>>937078868
Real

>>937079116
Nah, ptsd typa shit in my dreams is super rare. It's mostly just stress related from from all the bs i have to deal with.

>>937079173
Might not hurt to write it down when you wake up, see if you can glean any insights into your subcoscious. See any archetypes that might arise- idk, I'm just into that kind of shit so it's something I do. You could also try to make music with a program like fruity loops, possibly. The one mercy in your situation is that your brain still seems to work, so despite being a cripple you can still exercise your intellectual, creative, or spiritual functions. This at least imo offers some possibility of catharsis, if not true freedom.

>>937079074
It's all good man, thanks for the considerate words. I'll look into it, all new for me.

>>937079032
All good man, made me laugh. I guess it wasn't that retarded then even if it was useless for now.

>>937079247
No problem, wish I could do more.

>>937077328 (OP)
Try to move in with a friend or do everything in your power to move somewhere else. The only way your life will get better is if you move out

>>937079237
Actually been thinking about writing some of them down but i guess i should actually commit to it. i wish i could work on cars, classic cars have always been my thing...

>>937079320
I would need a steady source of income first.

>>937079424
>Actually been thinking about writing some of them down
You should! HP Lovecraft's writings were inspired by his dreams, and he's one of the greats as far as burger authors go.
>i wish i could work on cars, classic cars have always been my thing...
That's hard. Best not to focus too much on what you can't do. You could possibly draw them? Idk, it's not the same I'm sure.

>>937079464
You could try to learn coding, or somehow harness the AI BS to churn out slop perhaps. That's supposed to be profitable, but idk tbh I'm a NEET and half retarded.

>>937079237
I have actually always been interested about philosophy but i tend to get bored with it after a while. I just wanna build and fix things, that's my purpose in life. Of course now it's not feasible...

>>937079530
Kek, aren't we all? This is /b/ after all...

>>937079586
>I just wanna build and fix things, that's my purpose in life. Of course now it's not feasible...
You still could. It will have to be things like computers and small tech shit, but it is possible

>>937079518
No it's not but it's still a pleasent way to pass time. Used to do it when i was in elementary.

>>937079643
True.

>>937079586
Purpose is what you make of it. You likely had the gift of a mechanical mind- I can barely build a sandwich- but you have to make do with what you have. You're smart, so that's one strength you still have.

>>937078045
Any instigating incident, or were you just jumped?

>>937079684
That's awesome! Might be worth trying to get back into it. Finding better ways to pass the day than sitting in front of a screen will do you some good, I think. Lord knows I need to do the same.

>>937079762
If i just find a way to utilize it right.

>>937079464
If you have a truly good friend they'd be willing to just let you sleep on the couch for a bit before you can start earning income. Ask your friends for help, either with getting a job or with living with them. You can try selling shit online or something.

>>937079827
Nah, you're right about it.

Dedicate your life to vengeance. Find out where that dude is going to be, and wheel over there with a few molotov cocktails. Sounds like Finland prison would be an improvement over your current circumstances.

>>937079845
Well, you can do what a lot of us do and feel sorry for yourself- which if anyone has good reason to, it's you- or you can try to rise above it. You're still young, so I strongly believe you still have a lot of potential. Feeling sad is natural, especially when you've been dealt such a rotten hand- but your life is your life. You have to live it to the best of your ability.

>>937079895
Idk, the fucker who did it definitely deserves to burn but OP is better than that. All probability the low-impulse control mongrel who brutalized him will end up getting himself killed or worse by starting shit with the wrong person. Happens all the time with that kind.

>>937079788
Nothing that im aware of. We actually were sorta "friends" before, talked shit during recess / lunch etc but then one day when i went to talk to him he just jumped on me and started beating. He did have anger issues but we got along, or so i tought...

>>937079994
That makes it even worse... You must feel a lot of resentment towards him, and rightfully so. Either way it would be best for your peace of mind to just try to look at it like an animal attack. You were a victim, yes, but he very likely was acting according to his nature. Regardless of why it happened, if a beam had fallen on you instead- it wouldn't make any difference. Does that make sense?

>>937079895
Tried to find where he lives but gave up. Would just get in trouble. The sack of shit probably will get killed for some bs anyway, he's known for this type of behaviour by now. Has more enemies than one by now.

>>937079849
Good idea otherwise but my physical condition strips that option off.

>>937079899
I try to follow this principle always when i can.

>>937079931
Yeah.

>>937080209
You're doing all you can do. Keep striving, dreaming, thinking, drawing, wriitng, reading, learning and growing.

>>937080086
Yeah, i get what you're saying but if a beam would have fallen on me i would still hold the management of the building or crane or whatever responsible, the only thing that would make an injury like mine easier to deal with would be if i got my self hurt then i wouldn't have to hold anyone else accountable but my self. Same goes with some freak accident like a tree falling on you etc then there is no one to blame really.

>>937080377
I will.

>>937080395
The only reason I suggest this is because the sense of resentment will only add to your suffering. Anger is not pleasant, nor is hatred- and even when they're entirely justified they only add to your net misery. We all feel what we feel, but our thoughts effect our mental states just as much as our mental states effect our thoughts.

>>937080086
Yeah that's a good way to describe people like him. The issue is that wild animals get locked up in zoos or then a troublesome dog gets put down... In modern society feral people just roam and look for their next victim.

>>937080519
Certain people make sure that certain countries have as many as possible... Feral people need to be put down just like rabid dogs. Innocent people like OP... it makes me extremely angry.

OP, I don't know of much I can suggest to you, but I do have one idea. Get into canoeing or kayaking. It lets you move around and you only need your arms to do it. It'll be a bit difficult to get in and out, but besides that it should be fine.

>>937079788
Brown people are just like that.
Beyond that, even if there was an instigating incident like OP called them niggers, that doesn't warrant such a physical retaliation.
>>937080086
>Either way it would be best for your peace of mind to just try to look at it like an animal attack.
It was.

You are limited to working with your hands and sitting in a chair.
You can be an eceleb if you look kinda good. People can comment on media or shit they saw on reddit and pull in big money for doing nothing but commentary. I am sure there are complexities behind it all but its possible.
There is also using programs created with ai to invest money. If you go that path set it up to test with fictional money until you are confident you have something that works consistently. Then you can figure out how to legally bring in clients. You manage their money for a sliver of the profits.
There is also the monetization or sale of other digital items that either you or someone else owns. Make ai slop videos, make art, video games, novels, sell digital items currency architecture and skins, design avatars, try real world economy games, or do affiliate marketing. Look into passive income and automation. You can even run a patreon or similar for making cyoas but I don't expect much money there.
All of this much like life is sadly hit or miss even after a lot of effort but it is a possible path.

>>937080510
I know, it's just hard to let go and move on. It takes years for your mentality to change. Sometimes it doesn't happen at all. Even if it does get better you still have to battle with it and from time to time that pure hatred just lifts it's head up and you just have to cram it back in or deal with it in some other way in order to get better. Thankfully i've been able to move on from it little by little and now im usually pretty indifferent about it.

>>937077328 (OP)
This place used to be funny, the neets hadn't reached full blown failures at that point. Now all I ever see is depressing shit like this, not that im saying youre a neet or lazy OP, as you said youre paralyzed so that sucks, but I dunno what you expect, its hard to care anymore bud.

>>937080584
Yeah i wonder who have the biggest noses of all humans...

>>937080737
There's a lot more porn than depressing shit. As sad as this is, I feel like it's nice to see a real human being expressing a real human experience instead of generic coomer thread number 5141537

>>937080736
It is, but it's natural to feel that way. I'm glad you've been able to make that much progress, and I hope that you can make much more. I wish you nothing but the best, anon.

>>937080820
Right, don't get me wrong its at least something original, but these stories have been posted on /b/ since its begging. Some fucking loser need complaining about life but usually it ends in a punchline. I was just saying I miss the humor. OPs situations garbage and I feel for him, but learn to laugh again folks.

>>937080737
We were younger and the world was if not better then at least easier to live in... And yeah you get used to depressing and sad shit. Been there, done that.

>>937080733
Yeah, i have to look into all that.

>>937080848
Thanks

>>937080655
I should look into it or something similar, been kinda interested in boating... And yes i've been "red" pilled or what ever the fuck youtube buzz word you could use to describe the coming to the realization that some people are just useless eaters that just cause problems for the rest of us.

>>937080928
I suppose you could also do hand crafted things. There are people that need things like a very specific kind of soap or else they have an allergic reaction. There is also taking scrap laptops, Making working ones out of parts, sticking in a good harddrive and ram and making decent money that way. Obviously that would need some know how, shipping, and startup money which is likely tricky for you.
If you manage to dig yourself out of your pit feel free to circle back and help me out of mine.
I don't imagine my advice is very useful or else everyone would get rich on reddit gold, selling runescape currency, doing online surveys, selling minecraft buildings, and csgo skins. Still I hope it helps.
Odds are youtube or chatgpt has something that can point the way better than I. Good luck.

>>937081159
Nah, it's all good. Appreciate it anyhow, nice to chat with people anyway. And thanks, hope you get out of you hole as well. We all need a little positive feedback once in a while.

See if there is any employment specifically for handicapped people. Talk to health and human services / social security or whatever it is called. You might be able to get a desk job as a secretary or operating a machine.

>>937077328 (OP)
ok

>>937081284
No one here really wants to hire disabled people, been looking into it. Could ask around again but i think some entrepreneur typa deal could work better.

>>937081269
Right...
PS: See if these help any.

Survey platforms for money.
Prolific
Qmee
Swagbucks
Earn money by sharing your internet connection.
Honeygain
Pawns App
If you feel like wasting a half hour or more of your life every day for the sake of a lotto you can try Publishers Clearing House. Be warned I sank many hours into that until they updated the app leaving it nonfunctional and got nothing to show for it.
>>937081435
You are disabled. Various companies and government programs want exactly that. Its their oppressed minority token nigger crap. A retard will get hired faster than someone competent if they advertise their impairment and go through the right channels. I even know a company that is nearly nothing but handicapped people. It takes luck and being in the right spot but be sure to keep an eye out anyway.

>>937081515
Thanks again, i'll look into it.