What is something that you have done, or has happened to you, that most people wouldn't believe?

>>937137815 (OP)
I cured PTSD

i farted so bad in a crowded elevator that 6 people died

I already had sex. Yes, with a woman. And yes, before marriage

>>937137815 (OP)
I held the same summer job from ages 15 to 19. When I was 16, I entered into a consensual sexual relationship with my manager. She was 32 years old and married with 2 young kids. We casually maintained our relationship in secret until I left the job for good.

>>937138970
>When I was 16, I entered into a consensual sexual relationship with my manager. She was 32 years old
Similar to me except she was 35 and single. Turns out she just liked teen boys and giving them their first hj/bj/fuck.
Closed the restaurant with her and she was going to give me a ride back to my house (only a few blocks away so I usually walked) and we ended up parked behind the building next door where I sucked her tits, fingered her off and she swallowed my cum.
A few days later we closed again and she asked if I wanted to go to her place so we drove there and we ended up in the shower and then her bed. I wasn't a master at it but wearing the condom deadened it enough for me that I wasn't a two-pump-chump and was able to get her off.
Got done, got dressed, drove me home and never hooked up again as she moved on to her next one.

i had sex with catie wayne

28 managing a fast food restaurant.i had a 3 some with two underage "lesbians" and took both of their virginities

>>937139927
>she just liked teen boys and giving them their first hj/bj/fuck
At least she was hot enough to make it worth it to remember?

>>937140214
Definite butter-face but not horrible. She went to the gym lots so while she wasn't ripped, she wasn't fat either.
The sad truth is, I've fucked uglier since then.

>Me, late thirties dork, recently out of a long term relationship
>Walking home from bar absolutely shit rocked wasted
>Get turned around and am walking through random residential neighborhood smoking a cig.
>"Hey, give me on of those!"
>Turn to see pretty, early 20s blonde across the street.
>Walk over and bum her a smoke. She's in a tight going out dress, barefoot, just holding an iPhone and a pair of heels.
>She starts talking a mile a minute like she knows me about being left by her friends and not being able to get a car because her phone is dead because it's so-and-so's fault, she has three blocks to walk, yap yap yap.
>I'm wasted, but I'm a gentleman, I can't leave this coked up drunk girl on the street. Offer to walk her to her door.
>Takes forever to go twenty feet, taking her shoes on and off.
>"Look sister just get on my back I'll carry you, it will be faster"
>She's still talking right into my ear, I got my hands on her soft thighs with her skirt riding up, I'm getting hard.
>Still debate going up with her when we get to her place and she offers me a drink.
>Fuck it, I'm as drunk as her, no harm no foul.
>Go for a kiss on her couch, my mouth is numb from her coke nasal drip as we make out.
>She starts taking off my pants so I suggest we take it to bed.
>Have drunk missionary position sex, realize half way through i never thought to ask about a condom.
>Ask her where she wants me to cum, she says inside, welp, here goes.
>She strips all the way and passes out.
>Sobering up a lil now and feeling weird, I just up and leave, no note.
>STD test a few months later at my next check up, in the clear.
>Never had random sex like that before or since

I had sex with 4 girls at a sleepover. It was just the 5 of us
2 were lesbians
2 were unattractive
1 girl was bi and into one of the lesbians and myself
1 girl had recently broken up
1 didn't want to participate

The birthday girl(one of the lesbians) wanted a lap dance from the four of us.
I said I don't dance and wouldn't, but told her she could give me one. She then dated the other two girls that weren't her gf to give me one as well.
Things proceeded from there

>>937137815 (OP)
I once held a girls hand

>>937140700
You absolute monster.

>>937140397
Cheer up, bud
>>937140516
She lived alone? I found weird that you could get laid with a complete stranger, and having her place free from other people you might not want nearby for that. It can happen, but it's lucky though

>>937137815 (OP)
I jerked it to ol' Alice there quite a few times.

>>937139927
Definitely similar. I wasn’t a virgin, but might as well have been and she liked talking about it. Since she was my boss, she pretty much scheduled me to close or open with her to her liking. Also we never had to go anywhere else because the security cameras were all fakes.

>>937137815 (OP)
Never dated/been kissed/had sex and I'm close to 50. But that's /b/, right?

>>937137815 (OP)
I have disproven
"Once you go black you never go back"
I have turned a "lesbian"
Been im hundreds of group sex situations
Im a fat neckbeard

>>937141253
>Cheer up, bud
Back then pussy was pussy. I've got friends who try to shame me about it but then I remind them that the only pussy they ever got was from their wives and more than a few of them are barely hanging on their marriages.
>>937141360
This was before security cameras but the cleaning crew was there so we couldn't really do anything in the restaurant.
Did do some teasing to start. One time I was talking to her as she was sitting at her desk and she made a comment about me looking down her top. Another time she was asking me which of the girls there I wanted to fuck and commented how like one girl had big tits, another had a nice ass, etc.
Was the first adult woman I ever talked dirty with.

>>937141921
>I remind them that the only pussy they ever got was from their wives
And the problem?
> and more than a few of them are barely hanging on their marriages
Well if they weren't able to keep things together, bad for them. They might have a middle age crisis and start to date younger women, so that's it

>>937138006
me too

>>937142122
>And the problem?
One is incredibly lazy and mostly dumb. Hard to have any real conversation with her and their kids are just about as bad because she was too lazy to raise them right.
Another is bossy and unforgiving and refuses to suck his dick. His sex is him on top with the light off and every so often she'll ride him. But once she cums, he's got about 2 minutes to make sure he gets his or she's out of there.
Another is really fat.

The long and the short of it is that if we all had it to do over again, I'm probably the only one who would choose to be with my wife again so giving me crap about fucking a couple fuggo's in HS and college doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things.

>>937141253
Yeah she lived alone. I live in a small rust belt city that's mainly a college/hospital town. There are a few high rise apartment buildings but most of the housing here is row homes, and most of them that are rentals are split up by floor into one or two bedroom apartments. Not that I don't know plenty of people who go in on a whole house together with roommates but you don't have to be rich here to have a one bedroom or studio.

>>937142326
Fair enough. It might not be ideal for some moral systems, but even though you haven't done something truly bad at all. You would be a great noir detective with that personal background

>>937142503
I admit I was just after pussy too much and for the most part if I could erase the memory of a few of them I would.
At the same time, I only take so much crap from my friends about it. Friends always give each other crap about everything. I just don't want them to act like me fucking the rail thin, orange haired, buck toothed girl is somehow worse than them being married to the woman who makes their car list to one side when she gets in. I got my nuts drained by the orange haired girl - this guy is getting his wallet (and fridge) drained by his wife.

>>937142670
True. You stopped the other thing already, but your guy still has to stop it, if he wants of course

I have a street named after me in the town I grew up in

>>937137815 (OP)
I'm a 48 year old virgin

My friends wife gives me dirty underwear to jerk off with. Friend does not know. We’ve never done anything sexual except this.

>>937143653
When we were dating, my wife would let me have her panties at the end of the date. We usually only saw each other on the weekend, so I'd use them a time or two between dates and return them to her on our next date.
The only one who ever found out was a friend of hers and it blew her mind because she didn't think my wife was that naughty.
I can't remember how many women's/girls panties I've jacked off in over the years. Sisters, cousins, friend's sisters, friend's daughters, nieces, neighbors, neighbor's daughters....

>>937140645
Gonna need more champ

I massaged and grinded on my mom's ass when I was 16-17. There were a few asshole flashes from underneath her wedgies and thongs included when I would spread both her cheeks simultaneously. Grand finale was me slowly creeping my middle finger down her bare ass crack under her pants when we cuddled next to each other in an awkward silence.

The whole thing is made even more absurd and unbelievable by the fact that we stopped there and never ended up fucking somehow. I don't know where to even begin rationalizing this, whole period seems like a fever dream now.

I remember other thing:
>be with two friends in a bar
>we are at the terrace of the bar, with a second level above
>one of them goes to the bathroom
>I talk with the other one until we see if we could go to the upper level
>we look up
>a woman wearing a top leaned in the table to approach to her lover so she could kiss him
>her boobs were completely exposed to us from below
>we see each other and laugh
>our other guy returns
>"hey there"
>"you don't know what we saw"
>"What did you saw?"
>my friend and I said "boobs" at the same time
>our friend looked up to see if he can catch the boobs
>he didn't
>we laugh
I don't think no one would ever believe me, but I found it hilarious, and also
>we saw boobs in real life without begging or paying for it

Had sexy fun with an 8yo girl

>>937144067
It wasn't as hot as one would hope but I had my fun.
the lesbians were Maddy and Jaz.
Maddy is fat and possessive of Jaz. She went a long with the lapdance thing cause she wanted to watch the other two girls dance.
Rachel is bi, not really attractive but great big ass, she had actual feelings for Jaz.
Then there was the black one who had just broken up.
The first lapdance I got was from the birthday girl, Jaz. It wasn't great since she's a lesbian and doesn't know how to turn a guy on. I instantly got hard when she was in her panties. She gave it a tight squeeze over my shorts and her jealous gf told them to switch.
So now it's Rachel giving me a lapdance and it was somewhat better with her ass, and knew how to move better. I hadn't felt Jaz up cause I wanted to be more respectful towards her, but Rachel was fine to touch. Had her take her bra off for the birthday girl. She actually grinded against my dick for a minute and I could feel her pussy was wet. We were getting a little carried away when the fat one(Maddy) told her to stop cause it looked like she was gonna make me cum.
The black one said she definitely was gonna have me cumming. She had the skimpiest underwear of the three, jay suggested she just take it off and she did.
The black one(Mariah) did a leg spread close to my face. Jay said "look at him he wants to eat it" and I stook my tongue out playfully. Jay told Mariah to let me and she grabbed my head and brought it close to her cunt.

>>937145393
Who was she to you?
Mine was 9

>>937145414
More

>>937141921
We were the cleaning crew alongside everything else. On Fridays/Saturdays she would literally schedule the 3rd person to leave 30 minutes before us. She was chubby, but already naturally busty and she was very open about talking about her breasts with me. Our first encounter wasn’t really dirty talk tho. We had a pretty standard polo and khaki pants uniform. One night she came in wearing jeans and her polo because she was going out after work. She changed out of her polo into a blouse in front of me during closing.

>>937145463
No one, just a cute girl in the 3rd world

>>937145794
There was a lot of boob and ass grabbing going on all of the time but the managers always tried to stay out of it. They would just enjoy the hot girls jiggling around. A few times the girl would get pissed but most of them just accepted that they were going to get their butts or boobs squeezed. Funny when others saw it and just rolled their eyes.
After the manager moved on I hooked up with a fat slut. Besides grabbing on her like most guys did I was actually nice to her so she was more comfortable around me.
One time she slipped and fell and thought I was reaching down to help her up. Ended up reaching between her legs and grabbing her cunt. Then I pulled up my apron and took out my hard dick to show her. We fucked hard after work that night.

I went insane and it unambiguously improved my function and happiness in life.

>>937137815 (OP)
My eldest son started school before I graduated high school.
I became a grandfather before I was 30
Actually feels good bros - Jr. turned out normal and has a successful career in something he enjoys.

>>937146234
At what age did you had him? 14 or so?

>>937146466
11 I think it was. I still don't quite remember right because I forgot he existed for a good while due to how young I was when he hatched. Supersurrealism plus the sense of secrecy working against me on that part. My parents had no idea, either.
His mother just saw me one day and said "I want one of those" lol.

>>937145739
I started stroking myself and Jaz told Rachel to help me out. Birthday girl was getting turned on watching and orchestrating the thing.her gf Maddy wasn't really enjoying it so much cause me and Rachel were there. I'm sure if it was them with Mariah she would have loved that.
Mariah came on my chin, Jaz asked how it was and I told her to taste it herself. So she gets off the bed and comes towards me and licks my face a little, and I took the opportunity to kiss her lips. She then had Mariah and Rachel switch places. I didn't really wanna eat out Rachel but I sucked it up while Mariah started blowing me. Jaz was getting involved slapping Rachel's ass and holding Mariahs hair.
I then felt her little hand on my cock and it started throbbing. I had to pull back cause I felt I was gonna cum.
Maddy kinda poked a little fun "aw he's about to cum, one of you should fuck him before he does" she was on the bed just trying with a dildo not really involved.
I didn't think birthday girl would so I suggested Rachel. She sat on my dick facing away from me while Jaz started playing with her tits. Maddy didn't really like seeing that so she suggested she'd mess around with Mariah in the meantime, which they did. Was enjoying their show.
Rachel suggested that the birthday girl should get birthday dick. Maddy wanted none of that, Jaz was only horny and curious, wasn't exactly trying to, but it was the other two that convinced her.
We had her lay on the bed on her back since it was her "first time".
Some of the tightest pussy I ever had.

I had three cousins and their mom who came from Mexico. cousins were kinda whores, made twerk vids and such.
I'd give them rides to school and at home if smoke em out or let em em drink.
Had my way with the three of them 12,14,16

Oldest one moved back in with me after COVID. She was an addict so she immediately offered herself as payment. Using her limp body was the best

>>937137815 (OP)
When I was 13, I stole 22 pounds of weed from the foster home I was put in. They were growing it on a farm and sold it through a cab they drove. My buddy and me got kicked out of school for it, but we were stupid as shit. Even today people still talk about those kids who stole all that weed. I was told not to mention it as it would have a really terrible effect on the foster home program. Really though, who vetted these people? Fucking foster homes..... fuck