>>937229403 (OP)
I gotta tell you about the shit I had the other day. It took 20 minutes to crown and then There was this gaseous hissing sound and intense cutting pain, like I was shitting a ball of broken glass. The stench was remarkable. It smelled like a live stock enclosure or a pet store mixed with sour vomit. Then there was a quick classic farting sound and this sense of overwhelming relief. I felt like I was born again. I wiped. There was a little blood and a little sweat but no shit. So I stood up and looked back expecting a single meat ball. No. There was a foot and a half long prote wedged down the drain and laying against the porcelien right below the rim. That stench wafted up so intensely when I stood up I swooned. I had to leave the room without flushing. My head was spinning. I took annap on the couch and my wife got home and she shrieked. "What's that smell!?!" I told her this story and we cracked all the doors and windows. I went into the can and flushed the toilet but the turd was too thic. It didnt budge. Toilet started to overflow. My wife saw me from the kitchen and said, "Hun, your ass is bleeding!" I scrambled to shut off the water but the stench and the thought of my ass bleeding made me feint. I woke up again with the paramedics trying to move me out of a puddle of shit water to take my bleeding ass to hospital. My wife is sobbing in the living room. Got to the hospital and the doc got me a maxipad to sit on and some powder to put in my water and sent me home. When I got back. The whole house stank and started dry heaving as I went back to the can to clear the clog. I ended up putting on a dish glove and pulling out my turd and throwing it in a trash bag which I threw outside beside the garage. Next morning there were crows and stray dogs everywhere fighting over the bag in the street.
