>>937480996It was supposed to be a simple mission.
Naruto and Kiba were tracking chakra disturbances near the outskirts of the Hidden Leaf โ reports of strange energy, unfamiliar scents, andโฆ something else. Something foul.
โYou smell that?โ Kiba asked, crouched low, nose wrinkling like a dog sniffing rotten ramen.
โItโs likeโฆ like if mold learned how to talk.โ
โThatโs not chakra,โ Naruto muttered. โThatโs a vibe.โ
They pushed through the overgrowth โ and there he was.
J-Tard.
He was half-sunken into a broken swivel chair, surrounded by a constellation of spilled snacks and frayed ethernet cables. He had one sock. His shirt said โShota Queen.โ He pointed at them with a shaky hand, grinning through cracked lips.
โNinjasโฆ Iโve studied you. I am you. Believe it!โ
Naruto froze. โDid you justโ"
โDonโt say it,โ Kiba whispered. โJustโฆ donโt.โ
J-Tard began to spin. Slowly, then faster. The chair groaned like it had seen things. He made a sound like a fax machine having a nightmare. Kibaโs dog, Akamaru, hid behind a tree.
โIโve reached Peak Basedness,โ J-Tard said. โIโm operating on quantum stats. My power level is a palindrome.โ
Naruto backed up slowly.
โThis is worse than fighting Orochimaru in a haunted sauna.โ
Kiba turned to him, eyes wide.
โLetโs just seal him in a scroll and pretend this never happened.โ
โAgreed.โ
Moments later, there was a poof, a flicker of chakra โ and silence.
The forest was still again.
Except for a faint, greasy circle where the chair had been.