Thread 937523451

I would eat a whole tub of potato salad out of Emilia Clarkes ass crack

>>937523451 (OP)
I don't doubt it, since you're a glutton, potatoes are for peasant stock, and they'd grow easily due to her sedentary lifestyle.

me?... I'd gladly extinguish a lit cigarette between her tits

>>937523637
Full piggy mode

does she by any chance have a daughter thats actually fuckable, or a son, or a small dog?

any living thing that's small enough to be kept in a cage?

I also occasional develop 'the hots' for certain women.... im currently waiting g or Ellison Barber to give me a Greenlight on murdering my wife, so I can spend the rest of my life letting her shit between my eyes so I can see the hole the turds fall out of.

I kinda 'fell in love' with Ellison during the Ukraine war, where i first laid eyes on her as she reported LIVE in a flack jacket, with ordinances exploding directly behind her...

and she didn't even flinch.... she's tough as nails, AND a lesbian... current wife was also a lesbian when I met her (she spent 11 years exclusively fucking college girls in California until we met in person, and I was having anal sex with her 30 minutes later)

I like brave, strong women...
not masculine but BRAVE....

and Ellison Barber is a BADASS

Here's hoping we get some JJ smut soon, maybe it'll pull Katie back

>>937523451 (OP)
LMFAO Troy you fat cunt

ive seen lots of war correspondence in my life

......but that day, I was changing channels and I saw a TRULY TOUGH human

stern and determined, with an expression on her face something akin to ANGER, not fear...

as live artillery was detonating about 30 feet behind her... and I was like "who is THIS?" upon taking a closer look I was like "OH... MY.... GOD.... she's like the 3rd Olsen Twin, minus the 'troll doll' phenotype...

she's NOT the 'perfect beauty' we often envision, but that's kinda why I like her so much...

shes REAL..... and she's super fucking serious

not even slightly 'ditzy' or girly, she would make a badass life companion.

Dear Ellison ,
say the word, and I'll use a $12 household hammer to ensure she never bothers us

I haven't taken a shit since Sunday

You must be really hungry

Once a week I open Troy's mom's urn and I ever so gently fart into it

>>937523679
Long buttcrack

i would pay a lot of money to be this dog right here

>>937524543
i'd love to be her dog

>>937523451 (OP)
Same but with jordyn

>>937524626
I wanna jerk trib her face

>>937524655
I wanna be her dog

>>937524780
More

>>937524607
>>937524754
be sakuras dog instead

RE: brave strong women

this was my wife of 16 years, Jets mom....

she is tiny, like 5'4" and 89 pounds...

however, she was pand still is A GOD DAMN BEAST...I never saw her shy away from, or back down from ANYTHING... when big strapping men were hemming and hawing, she'd jump into it, face to face, and ASSAULT whatever the challenge may have been.

Anything from tackling the most?
Challenging physical task and undesirable assignments (she can lift an entire refrigerator by herself and move it across a goddamn kitchen without a dolly)

but here's a true story that explains her true nature: one year back when we had first met, she and I were at the Midtown Music Festival in Atlanta... I was 'the dude', so I had taken the lead, decisively.
Cutting through an ocean of humans packed shoulder to shoulder, headed to the stage area, with her in tow behind me..

Suddenly I noticed everybody around me had turned to look at something happening behind me... that's what I heard the commotion...

when I turned around, i saw her hammering a dude in the side of his head. a big dude... a large guy, a lot bigger than me.

he was on the asphal, trying to block her punches, Trying to cover his face with his hands. . but she was like a jackjammer

BAP BAP BAP BAP !!! she kept going
BAPBAPBAPBAP!!!!!!!!!!

thats when she jumps up, grabs my hand, and in an Authoritative voice ordered me "lets go... NOW!!... NOW!!!" And suddenly, SHE was in thr lead.... Dragging me behind her by my hand

once we were safely away from the crime scene, she explained "that motherfucker was about to punch you in the back of your head!" ..... yep... he was drunk, And for some reason as we were cutting through the crowd he decided he was going to punch me in the back of the head for no reason.

to be continued

>>937523451 (OP)
She's only little. Her asscrack wouldn't *hold* an entire tub of it.

>>937524824
Got Kik?

>>937524828
Jacobtard!

>>937524839
Jacob would never post something that low res, bro.

>>937524815
Emilia has a really big asscrack and would definitely be able to hold it all

>>937524835
Nuhuh

Well that worked like a charm.

>>937524853
These threads need a better class of Asians

>>937524923
no they don't

I had bought us matching 'pen style' laser pointers, and it turns out she wasnt 'punching' him... she used the base of her laser pointer like a hammer, and she HIT HIM IN THE TEMPLE... (which could kill him) Over and over and over and over and over and over again...

she knows how to fight, so she knew PUT THEM ON THE GROUND IMMEDIATELY... THEN KEEP HITTING THEM UNTIL THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GET BACK UP.

lol she BEAT THE EVER LIVING DOGSHIT OUTTA HIM !!!!! He probably took like thirty or forty HARD blows to the temple and face, with a metal point...

im not exaggerating when I say i'm not even sure if he survived... because she was inflicting a possibly lethal assault on that motherfucker..

( the temple is NOT a good place to receive forty hard blows from the tip of a metal laser pointer)

that's that day I realized she was going to be my wife, and I never hesitated to let HER take charge... it was a good feeling knowing HOW DANGEROUS she was...

she grew up FIGHTING... as in: real fist fights against guys... she ENJOYED it, and apparently is missing the part of the brain that is responsible for fear.

BRAVE WOMEN........
What makes the world go around...

BTW, she was only 16 when she beat the upper living daylights out of that big motherfucker

she's STILL just as tough....
even tougher

>>937524923
that bod is perfecto

>>937525001
stop spamming please

>>937524835
>got Kik
so...... you pretend to be sexually attracted to women....

But when's the last time you saw a vagina in real life?..... exactly.... NEVER
You never get any pussy
because YOU NEVER TRY TO GET ANY
because YOU NEVER INTERACT WITH WOMEN
............................ Not to mention
You're not really attracted to women

That's why you're continue seeking mutual masturbation with OTHER MEN online

ASKING OTHER MEN TO 'GO PRIVATE'
TO JACK OFF TOGETHER....
This is called HOMOSEXUALITY
as in: you are obviously not a heterosexual

You are quite literally a FAGGOT
And nothing against gay people...
Some of my coolest most trusted friends are gay...
but YOURE different
You're not a cool happy homosexual
You are still lying to yourself
You are a passive aggressive manipulative coward
You don't even have the courage to just go ahead and be gay... you spend all of your time hiding in your spider hole, in front of your already obsolete piece of shit computer ( it was obsolete before you purchased it, homo)

You are a sniveling surreptitious sneaky stupid duplicitou and manipulative PARASITIC COWARD

Like some kind of timid tapeworm, terrified of real life , face to face interaction and intimacy...

So you instead shit in your stinky chair, hoping you'll find an unsuspecting heterosexual male, and PRETEND YOU LIKE WOMEN, while you try to lure him into another one of your homosexual cowardly encounters.

A worthless fucking COWARD
Apparently hiding your flaws
Apparently afraid of face to face

Is the fat unbathed UNEMPLOYED WELFARE RECIPIENT asks yet another man if "he has kik"

By the way, Kik was DESIGNED FOR TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRLS...

From the very beginning, garbage KIK WAS.MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR PRE-TEEN GIRLS

Which explains why YOU'RE so comfortable with it

Why you're so comfortable asking other men to masturbate with you
Under the guise of being attracted to women

HAHAHAHAHA
You don't qualify as a man
And i've never met a woman as weak as you

whats the naughtiest thing you can admit to fapping to

>>937525252
Troy's dead mom

>>937524835

I've never seen a duplicitous closet homosexual who was happy

I've never seen a homosexual male who lied to himself, who pretended he wasn't a faggot, but was actually HAPPY

I find it EXTREEEEMELY unlikely that you are a happy person

Simply by asking another man if he has KIK at 6:20 AM EST ON A WORKDAY clearly demonstrates that you ARE indeed a financial, social and sexual FAILURE

..... A passive aggressive WEAK COWARD

Who doesn't know how to get what he wants out of life

And settles for an impotent PATHETIC FACSIMILE

................"got kik?"
hahahahaha!!!
you don't even technically qualify as being 'alive' in my book

I'm guessing both of your parents were decidedly stupid humans?

Because they did a terrible job of raising a young man

They raised a lazy little girl
an inept, dysfunctional, incapable, incompetent and inexperienced cowardly little fat girl....

So obviously your parents COULDNT have been particularly intelligent

Hour long feast

>>937525327
>>937525306

gngn everyone

Massive Bush or Naked Coin Slot Pussy?

>>937525883
Troy's niece?

>>937525494
Watch me jerk to her on disc?

>>937526059
No J-Tard

A moment of completion

>>937527793
All dead. How tragic…

Fat nigger troy

>>937523451 (OP)
Because that’s where she keeps her potato salad in case of unexpected visitors.

Madonna, Mariah, Janet, Britney, Gaga, Beyonce all still get my cum on a regular basis
>>937524302
especially Gaga here. wowzers

>>937524271
You had me at brave. Don’t do the deed in California, do it in international waters on an Etiad Air return flight from Dubai.
You’ll get off light with a fine for making a “unnecessarily difficult” mess in the airplane’s restroom, and a suspended sentence for improper divorce method if it was your first “divorce”. Make to only use a Tack Hammer. A strike to the medulla oblongata first makes the subsequent three or four strikes evoke no more noises from her mouth. Your defense will be easily effected if you said she said something disrespectful to the people of Dubai and the benificent and fair government thereof, and to Men of the Muslim Faith. You would have simply said “I divorce you” the required number of times but she wouldn’t shut up. So you shut her disrespectful mouth for her.

They will see the ridiculous tack hammer and consider the five strikes to be akin to- but an improper divorce declaration.


You are welcome to bring your new, Brave wife to visit Dubai but make sure you obtain permissions to interview men before either addressing them, directly speaking to them, and especially before filming them- all either in public or private. And you must accompany her if she intends to continue her “career”.

Tempting Allah and being brave is not a fit activity for women, as a distracted soldier can become a dead soldier. She should cover her hair better.

>>937530708
Please keep quiet.

>>937528055
Is this Hollywood Squares “Guess the Lesbians”?

>>937530814
Unrelated poster here.

Stfu

>>937530814
STFU faggot. We up in here tryin' to read about ugly virgin semen.

>>937530857
Based. You got disc? I just came on my stomach and I wanna describe it to you.

>>937530938
CelebAddictedGoonerX

Hulk Hogan is dead.

>>937533270
>>937533270
>>937533270
>>937533270

>>937533399
Fuck off babs.

>>937523451 (OP)
And if i could afford to have this done. I would pay her to allow this to take place.. as thats something we all like to see..

>>937524302
My fingers were in her pussy. She staged dived and my right hand went right up in her inner they and boom, middle and pointer fingers were in her for a hot second.. I wanted to go wash them off but could not leave as it was balls to dick deep.. I also got felt up by a girl or what i taught was a girl as i could not see whos hand was reaching in my pants as i could not turn around till the end of the of the show to see, Who was behind me was this big breasted brown haired chick and i assumed it was her. As it was not my friend who i was there with. She too had some one groping her and she assumed it was me.

bump

the real celeb thread is here
>>937531785

>>937523451 (OP)
If the salpole didn't have that smug dickface, I'd be down for it

>>937523451 (OP)
I would eat a whole tub of hot dog chili out of her ass.

Hs

whores

>>937523679
i love how people keep posting these like thats actually her... ever heard of a body double? She's spoken about it in several interviews.Sorry lads, not her

xooommm

>>937542758
You are retarded, it is her.

>>937546987
Go look it up, sorry to burst your bubble

>>937547142
She's never said that scene was a stunt double but nice try. It is clearly obviously her

jizzzzz

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