Looking for the best way(s) to commit suicide while minimizing harm to others and ensuring my family doesn't know it was suicide. (I know that regardless me doing so will cause them a lot of pain, but preferably something seemingly random wouldn't hurt as much as knowing I did it purposefully)
>inb4 "don't do it, it gets better"
I have felt this way for years at this point, during which the thought of ending my own life has been present in my thoughts at least once every three days, and that was when life was going especially well.
It is genuinely unbearable to go on and if there is any way to end it without my family knowing or innocents being hurt physically or psychologically I would do anything to know if for no other reason than to be fully informed before I make a decision.
Currently after considering this question over for months the best I can come up with is hiring someone to stage a mugging gone wrong, that way they can alert the authorities so no one else has to be traumatized by the body and they wind up getting paid for doing it too; my parents also know I'm dead and don't have to deal with potentially not knowing for a while if I were to go missing instead.
If anyone has any better ideas please let me know, thanks in advance.

>>937562690 (OP)
Can you tell me more about what’s been making it feel so unbearable?

Nobody with any brains in their head is going to take money to stage a mugging accident. That's capital murder, and they're going to try to track that person down (and they'll probably succeed).

Your best bet is "accidental" overdose. Something that you, specifically, would plausibly take to feel better, but just took too much of.

I don't recommend you follow through, but this is the best way to succeed without making it look like you were trying to die.

>>937562690 (OP)
If you care about inconveniencing others then I dont think youre serious about it.

>>937562690 (OP)
Go /out/, freeze to death or get eaten by a bear. Nature might heal you. Of course, you might feel better and then die.

>>937562884
How would they track them down if they know ahead of time when/where it'll be and we both are doing our best to make it covert? Seems pretty easy to make it hard to track them down to me.
>>937562900
I think it's pretty reasonable to not want to keep going on in life while also not wanting to potentially push others into that same position.
>>937563092
Unfortunately not in the right location for this, taking a trip to a place that would work out of the blue might tip my family off, good suggestion though this was one of the first things I thought of.

>>937562884
Actually, hanging yourself by your balls is the best way to make it look like an accident

>>937563249

Triangulation of road cameras/cell phones, tracing the murder weapon, phone records, suspect elimination. By all means, don't take my word for it and give it a shot.

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>>937562690 (OP)
You want an “accidental” death to make it look like you did something stupid.

I suggest looking up a ton of bathroom cleaning based YouTube videos. They love mixing a ton of chemicals together. Ammonia, bleach, breathe deep and do a Lupe Velez.

>>937562690 (OP)
>Looking for the best way(s) to commit suicide
Get clogged on one of Andy's logs you faggot.

Get a pitcher and fill it with a litre of vinegar and chlorine and and shut the bathroom door and chuck it in the air.

>>937562690 (OP)
Don't kill yourself! Seriously anon what are you thinking? You feel sad? Here let me change your life situation, it's now 1500 AD and you're in Europe as a farmer, you now have no tine to just sit there and dwell on your thoughts for 6+ hours a day. You're too tired to deal with that. Well look at that you've got free time now, you sure aren't going to waste it hating your life, time to savor your free time. See how different life can be just from a change in situation. You think South American's or African's are contemplating suicide as often as someone from North America or Europe? It's the situation you're in, maybe your job sucks, maybe you want a wife, maybe you want more free time, etc. Just cause the thought of suicide is there does not mean you should act on it. Perhaps there's something in your life you can change. Pick up the Holy Bible and start reading it. Start in the New Testament, maybe read a bit of Genesis first as well as Ecclesiastes.

Pretend you died already and go into a momastery for a few weeks. You can always kill yourself afterwards, but you would be more useful by serving your family and loved ones in any way you can. You can always kill yourself at a later point, doesnt make a difference ultimately. But at least give something back before you take the life that was given to you. You dont want to end up in hell.

Explode your own car with you in it. Nobody would ever consider suicide, even if you are a literal no one it would probably be considered murder but no evidence aside from you.

Jump into a low-head dam, also called drowning machines.

These are small, man-made dams that span the width of a river or stream. Even though they often appear harmless—especially because the drop may only be a few feet—they can create powerful, circulating currents at their base. These currents form a hydraulic jump or backwash that can trap swimmers, boaters, or even rescuers, pulling them under repeatedly in a circulating motion.

Not only is it a guranteed death but you also raise awareness about these low head damns and people fix them so people without a deathwish stop drowning in them

>>937562690 (OP)
Idk just take like 2 bottles of viagra and see if it kills you

>>937565275
Niggers and poop are the same thing. Killing niggers is no different from flushing your poop down the toilet.

Overdosing is only 3% effective in being fatal.

Go put headphones on and walk in front of a train while looking at your phone. High speed trains are always 100% effective and it will look like you simply didn't see it coming.

I think about killing myself from the moment I wake up and consistently throughout the day. But I know my life is irrevocably fucked and I am doomed to to torture and dying slowly and painfully, the only way out is suicide and soon enough before it expires as an option.

Tell your wife her cooking sucks

>>937562690 (OP)
>I don't care about living
>I care about the living

Pick a lane, you retarded fuck. Like your dead ass will have to care about anything once you finally off yourself.

>>937562690 (OP)
quitter

You dont need to feel badly about life. It is up to YOU whether you care about shit you cant change. You should try to be more stoic and focus on things you like and forget about the negative shit. Go volunteer to help others and I promise your outlook will change for the better, and your life situation will follow. Besides, don't you want to see how this while AI taking over humanity thing plays out? Why not go out in a good way later on fighting Skynet for the survival of the human race? No joke. Your situation is all about your mindset. Look up stoicism and apply it to your life. Its the ultimate cheat code for a better life.

>>937568016
This might even give OP the side bonus of looking important enough that someone wanted you dead

>>937562690 (OP)
The old carbon monoxide poisoning from a running car indoors trick is best, if you take sleeping pills you'd just die in your sleep and you could have a scheduled message to authorities for your body. That being said, suicide is an incredibly stupid and selfish thing to do, and most people who do it realize they're making a mistake part of the way through doing it. I suggest you try and do something more interesting with your life instead.

>>937562690 (OP)

Jump in front of a train, That's a 100% chance of a (hopefully) quick and painless death

If you don't wanna traumatize a bunch of workers though, just go find a nice tall bridge on the coast and jump off, Make sure you do it quickly, though, Theres a chance your countries/towns police have a water-craft division, and you dont wanna get some serious brain damage and live the rest of your life as a tard

That or just buy a shotgun like a normal fucking human

>>937562690 (OP)
>*minutes later*
>"I have wasted my entire life"
Why do so many of you losers drown yourselves in known cognitive distortions?

>>937562690 (OP)
>Currently after considering this question over for months the best I can come up with is hiring someone to stage a mugging gone wrong, t
Find a hitman on the dark web to take yourself out. You'll need around 10k for a legit one. Anything less is likely to be a fed. And imagine your family learning that you failed at hiring a hitman to kill yourself, and now facing years in prison lol

>>937563998
So, use a gun? Or you talking about covid vaccine?

>>937572011
"Cognitive distortion" is just a Jewish way to hide people's thoughts from them

>>937571685
Yep. I quit. Good for me. Didn't ask to be born.