What's the most fastest and painful suicide method?

>>937576556 (OP)
Setting yourself on fire with gasoline

>>937576656
How long would it take to burn to death

Head first in the wood chipper

>>937576684
You'd suffocate before burning to death

>>937577191
Sounds too much of a torture

Piranha acid bath?

>>937576556 (OP)
>most fastest

>>937576556 (OP)
Shotgun headshot

>>937576556 (OP)
If you're looking for a social and sexual suicide, nothing is faster and more painful thand being so uneducated that you think "most fastest" is acceptable grammar.

you don't say...

Literally... you don't say that in front of people without expecting them to ostracize you.

>>937576556 (OP)

"YOU DON'T SAY"

....... Seriously

You don't say "i need advice i'm killing myself" if you're truly suicidal, because even a brain injured orangutan has the answer already.

nope... that's something you only say when you are an ATTENTION SEEKING, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SISSY.

>>937576556 (OP)
Just use your gun dumbass.

>>937578668
You're just a hater and wish you had a nice bussy like me

>>937576556 (OP)

YOU DON'T SAY

Of course, you don't say what needs to be said when it needs to be said, and you let people wipe their feet on you, treat you like shit, and you don't have the balls to resolve the issue right then and there.

Instead, you bottle up your frustration inside of you, and once every month or so you so a temper tantrum and threaten suicide, like the bitch that you truly are.

Like right now for example... i just called you a stupid effeminate bitch, and you don't have the balls to do anything about it, you weak pathetic little coward, you.

>>937578800

That's not the reason why I hate you...

I hate you because you are a coward.
I hate you because you pretend like the world is responsible for you being a fucking punching bag bitch.

But in all actuality, YOU made
That decision for yourself

There are plenty of reasons to hate you, and the fact that you are a flaming.Homosexual is the last one on the list.

Coward

>>937576556 (OP)
eat your own shit until you die of malnutrition.

>>937578843
This man's on a mission

Convertible car, tie a long rope round a tree then round your neck, then fucking gun it.

>>937578590
>>937578668
>>937578843
New spam just drop?

>>937578918
Op said painful

>>937578907
Op said fast

>>937578898
You're the coward for fighting back, you don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes

>>937578987
Typically if it's fast it isn't as painful.

you mean painunful

>>937578987
Yeah, cos having your head ripped from your body won't hurt. You don't die instantly when beheaded you know.

>>937576556 (OP)
Burn to death would hurt a lot, I also imagine getting dragged behind a car for a couple miles would be extremely painful but still over after a few minutes tops. I hear drinking bleach is horribly painful as it destroys your body from the inside and then you're toast

Eat and swallow glass until you die? You could tailor it to your needs. Coarse window glass if you want to die faster, or thin light bulb glass if you want to die of 1000 cuts.

>>937579140
How can you chug the whole bottle of bleach, isn't the taste awful

>>937579237
It scars and damages your esophagus. Just one cup down the hatch would do the trick.

>>937578932

not exactly...

More like I just dropped an old ballpoint pen doodle I drew years ago into a cheap A.I engine, just to see how it would bring an old doodle to life.

>>937578990
Nobody expected a coward to admit.
Self defeat. of course you're going to fabricate another justification and play in the world for your own self imposed cowardice.

hint: the rabbit hole goes as far up your asshole as the next penis you encounter, because instead of standing up like a man, you live your life laying down and
rolling over like a bitch.

>>937576556 (OP)
Normally, I'd say suicide is stupid, but considering you're a frogposter, go nuts.

>>937578932
Not new.
It's Jet Neptune's dad. A mentally ill meth headed grifter that occasionally goes on tangential, fragmented rants about how much better he is than everyone else. He also completely lacks self-awareness.
Don't respond to him.

>>937579284
nigga its a pepe... get your shit right with that gay ass meme you be postin

>>937579284
>posts furry meme

You next, fucking degenerate.

>>937576556 (OP)
I've had several really close friends who committed suicide, and i've always noticed one common trait amongst all of them:

THEY DIDN'T CREATE THREADS LOOKING FOR A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT

Why don't you Go get a fucking job?
That way instead of waiting for the world to deliver happiness into your lap, you can finally EARN A LITTLE BIT OF SELF RESPECT

And while you're at it, SHUT THE FUCK UP

PEOPLE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR COMPLAINTS AND WHINING

CLEAN YOUR FUCKING ROOM

DO THE GODDAMN DISHES

YOU'RE NOT YOUR MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE.SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND START ACTING LIKE A MAN

Tell your mother for $50.I'll fly in and break your jaw right in front of her

Tell her I said " trust me, he will RUN to go find a job once I start punching him"

>>937579420
>>937579434
Holy shit you're new.

Take like 20 of these so you become impossibly constipated, needing surgery. Next, eat as many as the hottest peppers you can possibly eat. Like close your eyes and down 10 ghost peppers in one gulp. Then wait. You'll die of a bowel obstruction in a few days and all that hotness will spill into your abdominal cavity and cause the most horrific pain just before you close your eyes.

>>937579456
There are many, many do it faggot pics. You chose the furry one because you are a pedo and a sexual freak. You should be inserted into a wood chipper feet first (suicide idea for you, OP).

>>937579568
>literally doesn't recognize the beast from Beauty and the Beast
Gen Z are so lost

>>937579568
Wouldn't a shredder work better?

>>937579378

But i'm not mentally ill
I don't do methamphetamine
And everything you just said is complete bullshit

The factor the matter is:
YOU are an unemployed adult male
YOU are a lazy worthless gaming chair parasite
YOU don't get any pussy because no woman respects you for finds you even vaguely interesting

So I don't care if you think i'm a meth head, or a grifter or any of your other stupid unoriginal ideas...

Because in all actuality, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO TALENT

You have nothing to offer
Quite literally brings nothing to the table.Because you have no experience and no expertise

Basically you're like a four year old girl with a gaming chair and a penis

Just like a four year old girl you
Don't know what to do with a penis

And that tiny unused penis obviously isn't doing it any good so far, you effeminate masturbating loser with the ladies

now, go play another video game, because that's the ONLY thing youve ever seemed to accomplish

If it wasn't for the stupid effeminate childish video games, you will still be in your mother's womb.

By the way mcdonald's is hiring

WHAT MOTHER WANTS YOU OUT OF HER HOUSE, YOU LAZY EXCUSE MAKING PARASITE

>>937579747
tl;dr

>>937579747

>>937576556 (OP)
Just be a religious cuck

>>937576556 (OP)
I've got a question for you guys. I don't plan on offing myself, but I eventually will. I've got chronic back pain, and the earth is on fire, so I want to have an exit kit ready to go when either the pain gets to be too much, or Mad Max's post-apocalyptic wasteland becomes a reality.

Where do I get pure helium for my exit kit?

>>937578092
Acid kills the piranhas. Rethink it.

>>937579378

> don't respond to him

Good advice.... for YOU

Because i correctly described your existence, and if you try denying any of it, everybody would instantly realize you're lying

so be an obedient little coward, don't respond, and continue hiding in the shadows like the inexperienced effeminate chicken shit that you truly are.

( you didn't become and isolated , lonely unemployed masturbating cowardly effeminate loser with the ladies by being brave)

After you fill out an application in mcdonald's, you're going to take your lazy ass to arby's, AND burger king...

Because if you don't have a job when you come home, I'll have your mother change the wifi password...

What kind of man lives with his mommy and refuses to get a job to help her pay the bills?

A: YOU ARE NOT A MAN

You're a soft weak little girl
Go play another video game sally boy

>>937576556 (OP)
>Painful
>Fast
choose one

>>937580192
Gramps seem a little grump today.
Maybe he forgot to take his metamucil.

>>937580449

Gramps?...

lol it's YOU who lives the life of an old man

You don't get a pussy
You don't party
You listen to shitty boring music
You've got shitty taste in music and art
You don't know what's currently cool
you don't take any risks
Your penis barely works
And you live a boring sheltered life of mediocrity, sitting all by yourself in front of a stupid fucking computer on valentine's day and new year's eve

Well , i'm the one living a youthful life

I literally run circles around you and all of your imaginary friends in here

I've got more energy and vitality than you've ever had in your entire life

lol idiot... its YOU who's ready for the nursing home

( which is basically exactly what your mother represents. you are a lazy parasite who exploits his mother, hoping she won't realize you aren't a child anymore )

Speaking of which
exactly how long you intend on continuing the parasitic opportunistic relationship with your mother?

Exactly WHEN do you intend on finally getting off your lazy, fucking ass and supporting yourself?

WHEN do you plan on finally finding your first girlfriend?

Because you're not a toddler anymore

And your mother's house is NOT your nursing home, gramps

GET A FUCKING JOB, YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOOCH

You worthless excuse making lazy tape worm mother fucking MOOCH

>>937580899
>MOOCH MOOCH MOOCH

>>937579988

Hey i've got a question YOU......

Don't you think it's kind of odd?You would ask a bunch of unemployed video game douchebags how to source helium, when obviously that answer can be found on google?

And perhaps even more importantly, don't you think asking them demonstrated the fact that you at the tendency to engage in histrionics, needlessly melodramatic, and perhaps maybe even a little bit of sympathy seeking?

Because the last time I checked, there aren't many helium.Experts in this shithole website

try malingeringbore.com

>>937576556 (OP)
Tornado chug bleach

If somebody's going to kill themselves, THEY DON'T CREATE THREADS ABOUT IT

If somebody's going to kill themselves, THEY DON'T GO LOOKING FOR GOOD CONVERSATION

The entire "i'm going to kill myself" passive aggressive fashion trend has become so boring

You guys create so many of those boring threads in here

Killing yourself takes balls
which disqualifies 99% of you

Anybody who creates a thread about committing suicide is OBVIOUSLY seeking attention

Pity seeking

Passive aggressive idiots who aren't smart enough to attract friends the normal way, so they think they can manipulate people the same way they've been MANIPULATING THEIR MOTHER with empty threats of self harm

You're not your mother

Go manipulate a rope around your neck or shut the fuck up
Because nobody gives a fuck about your threats of self harm

I guarantee once I started punching you in the face, you would be BEGGING ME TO LET YOU LIVE...

I absolutely guarantee it...

If any of you feels suicidal, come visit me and I'll beat that idea out of you real fast

>>937581128
Fair enough. Apologies for my faggotry

>>937576556 (OP)

I think the most honest answer.I can come up with right now would be....

suicide?.....

so you call "THIS" living?........

lol you've got to be joking....
From where I stand, you're already dead

You've never lived

>>937580449
just say you have a tit fetish and he might get turbo triggered
>inb4 gramps says tit fetish is not real
interest or lust for anything other than pussy is a fetish hence tit fetish is real.
case closed.

>>937580899
>I literally run circles around you and all of your imaginary friends in here
Meth has that effect

>>937581381

And by the way....

If you care to notice...
I didn't attack you in that post
I didn't insult you
I didn't accuse you of being a lazy unemployed gaming chair parasite

Because I know you are a very intelligent man

I know you are a classy man
You're actually quite dignified

And that's why I approached you differently

But it's true what I said..
These guys in here are not experts in helium

But perhaps more importantly they are definitely not experts in resolving unresolved issues

By the way I wanted to mention earlier...
I was born with a condition that has caused unbearable chronic back pain.My entire life...

Coincidentally, i'm married a genius fucking genius wife, who was in a horrible correct when she was nine years old

Are you familiar with our bones " growth plates"?

That's the soft area at the end of our bones when we are young, which?
Hardens and turns into extended bump as we grow

well, in that car wreck, the growth plate of one of her vertebrae was fractured...

That means as she grew older, the spinal fracture was already 'built in', and she has experienced MIND NUMBING pain her entire life...

One of many things she and I have in common... the reason I mentioned it is because I can relate, and also she and I have both been through the entire grist mill regarding pain management

They prescribe to me every fucking opioid you can imagine, and ultimately I ended up on fetanyl, BUT IT STILL DIDN'T KILL THE PAIN

And I went to my doctor's office one day in person to tell him " do not prescribe me fentanyl anymore"

My wife and I both stopped all of the pain management medications... and we both simply deal with the pain everyday

I'm sure you're familiar with this....
We both found it much easier to simply LIVE WITH THE PAIN

>>937581680

But how would you know?

You're a coward who's never done meth
The only things you know have been gleaned while sitting in front of your lonely little computer

your Lonely little " substitution for getting off your ass and living a real life"

Your embarrassing little "replacement for having enough balls to go out there and find a girlfriend"

So obviously you know as little about drugs.As you know about talking women into spreading their legs for you.

I don't mind being judged.
But I prefer it be done by somebody with IS ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE

becuse... my friend?...
YOU are an inexperienced larva

Sure to let me know the day.You finally get a job and stop taking advantage of your poor mother.

That's the day I'll begin respecting you and your pompous empty little opinions

( i haven't touched hard drugs in over nine years, but I don't regret doing them at all, and on my worst day, it would still take a 90 foot boom.Lift for your tongue to reach my asshole... because you are a fetus, a scared inexperienced cowardly little fetus, hiding in your mother's bedroom, foolishly thinking a virgin supermodel will eventually come kicking the door down looking for you

( also, important to mention you're gay)

You've gone this long without any pussy
You have no experience with women
no female friends
No platonic friendships with women
No women that come hang out with you

But you are unusually comfortable discussing sex with other men online

Youth engaged in more than one round of mutual masturbation with another man on discord

YOU ARE A HOMOSEXUAL....
See how easy that was, Sallyboy?

ITT everyone needs meds. FFS.

>>937582091
>attention pweeaaase
>gib attenshuns

>>937582233
I CAN COUNT TO POTATO AND THE DOLPHIN'S IN THE JACCUZI

>>937581514

Again, the sexually inexperienced novice and his misinterpretations of reality

a FETISH inherently has absolutely nothing to do with sex

Getting a blow job can't be a fetish
Big tits are a preference, not a fetish

To be a fetish, it must first have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with sex, whatsoever...

Fetishes are stalling tactics used by asexual people who what do avoid sex

Case closed...
Just like all the women's legs who you've ever taught to

They're not going to spread their legs for you because, to put it quite simply, THEY JUST DON'T LIKE YOU

But you already knew that....
That's why you never even try
That's why you never get rejected
That's why you never score

beause you never even try.....

>>937581381
And speaking of fentanyl

There's no easier more peaceful.Happy exit from this dimension than opioid overdose

Opioids kill you through respiratory arrest

Your lungs simply stop working
But you'll be SO HIGH...
SO HAPPY..
floating in a euphoric bubble
You won't even realize your lungs stopped

Those people literally die with smiles on their faces

If you're going to take yourself out, by all means it should be as peaceful and painless as possible, keeping your dignity

And there's no more peaceful painless route than opioid overdose

Helium overdose is actually kind of traumatic, believe it or not...
I was once overdosed on nitrous oxide by a dentist, and I can tell you there's a brutal fight or flight ike event that occurs

Because you still have some consciousiness in your synapses

You fight for life at the end.
god knows I did
And helium doesn't even get you high like nitrous, so I don't imagine the fight or flight.Consciousness is much stronger with helium.

It's extremely traumatic...

>>937582234

Since the dawn of man, every human being who has ever spoken a single word, written a word on paper, is typed a word on a typewriter or computer, sang a song, painted a picture, carved a sculpture, or IS EXPRESSED THEMSELVES IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER was obviously seeking attention.

Nobody ever did any of those things with the intention of NOBODY PAYING ATTENTION TO IT

.............like YOU, for example
Every fucking word you've ever spoken was in an act of seeking somebody's attention

Unlike you, some people actually have something worth saying

>>937582410
>>937582446
>>937582535
Bro is psychic you know? Knows everything about everyone on this website, despite not having met any of them, or even spoken to 99.9% of them.
Or maybe he thinks we're all the same person. Who knows really. Drugs and mental illness do funny things to your brain.

>>937582598
He's a CIA agent

>>937576556 (OP)

Are you aware that this type of thread indicates a much larger problem in your life, one that has nothing to do with suicide, and everything to do with HOW YOU BEHAVE

And this is the type of behavior people avoid

Everybody's got our own problems..
We're not interested in you feeling sorry for yourself.

Some people think "pity seeking" is an acceptable way to make friends?Or initiate a conversation

That's because theyve spent their entire lives manipulating mommy...

But?... Any sympathy these people gain is insincere, obligatory and fleeting at best.

Because your personality type is depressing, it's a bringdown and people avoid it at all cost.

That's exactly why you're unhappy..
Cause you've been trying the wrong techniques...
Because you've been doing everything backwards.

If you stop feeling sorry for yourself, started behaving like a happy gregarious optimistic self confident young MAN, you would have much better results than continuing to behave like a whining little child.

Nobody's attracted to this type of behavior or personality. And that's why people treat you the way they do.

I just thought you might like to know why people think you're a boring pain in the ass...

Glad I could help

>>937581713
>I didn't attack you in that post
Yep. That's why I apologized. I shoulda just looked online. I've heard that pure helium is harder to get, so I didn't know which venue to go through to obtain it


>By the way I wanted to mention earlier...
>I was born with a condition that has caused unbearable chronic back pain.My entire life...
>Coincidentally, i'm married a genius fucking genius wife, who was in a horrible correct when she was nine years old
Fuck yeah, dude. Good job. I'm not suicidal or anything. Not making any plans for it. I just would be a lot more comfortable knowing I had an exit strategy in place for when/if shit hits the fan. I love life, but the thought of not having a plan in place makes me uncomfortable

>We both found it much easier to simply LIVE WITH THE PAIN
More power to you guys

>>937582410
i just finished grinding the finest, premium coffee beans on the market and now it is time to start brewing a masterpiece of a drink.

like i clearly explained before, tit fetish is indeed a real fetish based in trve reality.
the case is closed beyond belief.

any message from you trying to disprove the undisputable fact that i stated will be you outing yourself as a copium addict.
we are done here, thanks for the laugh.
i had fun and now i am going to sit outside and read a classy book whilst listening to the finest classical works brought forth by the great composers from the days of yore.

>>937582598

Before you make any more of a fool out of yourself....

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY, GET SHIT i know the demographics of this website, and your erroneous opinion is outweighed by those demographics.

Of course , i'm aware 2.7% of you guys has seen a vagina in real life before

but YOU don't seem to realize 97.3% of you have never seen a fucking vagina

I'm aware there's a thing called a "part time job", and it's just because you're sitting in here on a work day.Doesn't mean your uninployed, because Some of you may have a part time job

but YOU it'd be unaware that a part time job is not enough to support yourself

Far from it... meaning even those with pork time jobs LIKELY STILL LIVE WITH THEIR MOMMY... because they can't afford rent and utilities and food and gas and auto insurance and any other life expenses on that shitty part time job....

The factor the matter is:
Although i'm aware I occasionally accuse married men of never seeing a vagina in real life... that's a very rare occurrence in here

YOUR "IMAGEBOARD CULTURE"
I merely consist of the exact malfeasant.Inexperienced unemployed unemployed scared virgins and effeminate closet.Homosexual video game sissies that I talked about every day...

And for you to deny it SHOWS HOW NAIVE YOU ARE

It shows that you're either stupid, lying, or fooling yourself

I don't give a fuck how much you deny the truth

You're not capable of changing it

I'm correct at least ninety percent of the time, if not more, based solely on the demographics.

Those are my kind of odds, dipshit

lol @ how full of shit you are
Nobody expected you to admit
That you are a part of a CULTURE OF FAILURE

Of course, you'd like to pretend that you guys are somehow the superior cream of societys crop... nope

Everybody knows who and what you guys are

You guys are the butt of adults jokes

People.
Need an example of an adult life failure, they literally mention 4chan almost EVERY TIME... so don't fool yourself, dork

>>937582598

I just remembered.I saw a video just a couple days ago, and the two hosts were talking about weirdo weirdo loser guys who have no experience with women, and they'll see a girl working at a cash register and think that's the time to propose marriage

Basically , they were talking about dysfunctional weirdo creepy young adult males, who have bizarre misinterpretations about sex and relationships

Would you like to guess which website they mentioned as an example of these malfeasant young men?

People at jobs are joking with their coworkers right now about you guys

You're not.
Fooling anybody

>>937583146
It's fucking bizarre how obsessed with sex leftists are. Like, they literally can't have a conversation without changing the topic to sex in some way.

>>937583287
Lmao, this freak is not a leftist.

>>937582598

Oh and one more thing dapper dan
I know several of you guys in real life

Several of them... and theyre different ages, but all of them have the exact same traits

They're all gaming chair sissies
Is there all virgins, even at the age of thirty seven, STILL LIVING WITH THEIR MOTHERS...

So go right ahead and laugh
Because one of those guys is named Jason (he's the thirty seven year old who lived with his mommy)

I've known him for years, and he was always in here, in /b/... but he wasn't masturbating to questionable pseudo gay porn, or watching effeminate homo erotic sissy boy anime

and every time we spoke, I WOULD RIDICULE HIM FOR BEING A GAMING CHAIR DOUCHEBUCKET...

Every time, i said the exact same things to him that I say in here to you guys

I gave him shit continually... Jason finally realize I was right, and he stopped playing videogames, atopped watching anime and stopped watching pornography.

Within two months jason had a really really cute girlfriend named trudy, and he finally moved out of his mother's house, got an appointment with her, and a really good paying job...

And much to your chagrin, one day jason called me and THANKED ME FOR GIVING HIM SUCH A HARD TIME..

He actually told me "if it wasn't for you, i'd still be at mom's house jacking off to anime, so thank you dude"

100% true......
You thought your little comment was going to make me think I was off base this entire time?

HAHAHAHA!!! you stupid fucking IDIOT!!!

Now, i have an even lower opinion of your alleged "culture", because if the rest of these guys are anything like you, they're stupid as fuck, and the least talented liars i've seen in quite a while...

YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT...
Go clean your gaming chair, sally

>>937583784
>100% true
lol Jason doesn't exist.

>>937576656
Not fast usually. Severe painful burns and then you take hours and days to die, all the while in excruciating pain. Most people in house fires die from toxic gas inhalation.
I used to work in an ER and saw a few severe burn cases. It's fucking awful.

>>937584095

Jason very much exists. he lives in Reno.
Nevada with his cutie little girlfriend

They were actually very happy together
And now instead of masturbating to anime, the two of them are going to snooty hootie wine tasting events and equestrian events..

She's got money...

And he's very real
I would even show a photograph
But you guys are such bitter jealous , vindictive , little boys...

Jason didn't do anything to deserve.Being harassed by you fucking losers

But I assure you he's quite real

( and so are the other image board friends I have in real life, although the rest of them still live with mommy)

>>937584703
And of course you're the hero of the story!
This faggot is so fucking delusional holy shit

>>937580157
Funny if a joke. If not don't be so quick to assume others are less intelligent than you. Know what you are talking about before speaking.