Thread 937890042

Hey /b/. Best way to fuck somebodys car up big time?

Thermite

>>937890042 (OP)
may not fuck it up big time, but just plunk a golf ball down their gas tank. Nothing will happen, at first, but when they accelerate it will get sucked down and make a horrible noise, but then when they stop to figure it out, it floats up to the top again.

>>937890842
Tell me you don't know shit about cars without telling me you don't know shit about cars.

slightly melted gummy bears on the hood of your worst enemy

>>937890042 (OP)
put a caustic agent in their gas tank like bleach or even sugar, it'll fuck up the entire engine

>>937892029
No. It wont.

>>937890042 (OP)
Grow up.

Splash it with nail polish remover and dump sugar in the gas tank.

Break window of car. Take socket out of hand grenade. Throw grenade into car. Run.

>>937890042 (OP)
rub some stinky cheese all over the engine and bay on a hot day. make sure it's soft enough to spread around

>>937890042 (OP)
Start with the tail pipe then work your way to grill. 10/10 orgasms, would bang again

>>937890042 (OP)
sit in it and let all of the cumloads drip out of your ass and onto the seat, you fucking faggot

Put shrimp shells or milk in the exhaust vent in the windshield so it stinks after a day or two

So, I used to go buy two packs of the really cheap bologna. You know the stuff, the junk no one can even stomach unless it's fried. Wait for a day where the weather says sunny and hot. Then, right around 10 am, I go find the car I dislike the most, and carefully arrange a nice pattern of bologna on the painted surfaces while singing the Oscar Mayer song.

>>937890042 (OP)
steal it and drive it into a body of water

sadly for you requires the person to have balls so its ill suited to some weak faggot who got humiliatingly btfo by someone in person and can only resort to fucking up their property in secret

call the police and report them for reckless driving, the auto detection software on their dash cams will light them up getting extra unwanted attention.
peeling off their registration sticker has happened to me, i live in a beaner city.

>>937890842
What the fuck. Have you ever seen a car where you live?

>>937892029
Fucking newfags. Sugar isn't even soluble in gas. Back in the day people would dump bleach down the carburetor as a cheap "fix" for lapped out rings.

>>937893407
>dump sugar in the gas tank
>not water soluble
>doesn't do shit
Fuck you zoomers

>>937893947
Because grease and oil and ATF and whatever you pick up off the road totally doesn't smell, right?

Put a balloon over the exhaust

>>937895542
>the exhaust vent in the windshield
Literally what the fuck are you talking about?

>>937896592
Why is this thread full of pussies who don't now what cars are? Cops aren't going to be looking for a reckless driver unless they're on that same block at the same time, and even that's a big if.

>>937898357
Ooooh damn, totally fucked up!

>>937890042 (OP)
Define big time

>>937890042 (OP)
Cut a brake line and walk away.

>>937891348
I bet he granny shifts and doesn't double clutch.

>>937898586
>double clutch
That's if you live your life one 1/4 mile at a time. I could do like 1200 miles in one go.

>>937898711
>I could do like 1200 miles in one go
That's like 12672000 dicks.

Wait, mom?

>>937898974
Are you counting one stroke or if you put two dicks end-to-end and you start in the middle?

>>937899087
>Boxer engine dicking or 180 degree V dicking with a single crank journal

>>937899186
I think for coordination's sake, you'd want to go with the flat 4, not boxer. That way you can get a good two-handed skiing rhythm going on.

>>937890042 (OP)
Snip the valve stem on the tires.
Sugar in the gas tank.
Smash the windows and set the mother fucker on fire with gasoline.

>>937899497
>Sugar in the gas tank.
Why do so many retarded niggerfaggots think this does anything?

>>937899523
If you fill the tank to the top with sugar....
Think about it.

>>937890042 (OP)
Honest I would just take a massive dump in the car and let it sit there for a while.

>>937899568
Oh yeah, 300 bucks spent on 160 lb of sugar, and then he can't fill his tank anymore. Genius!

>>937899705
put the mambo on their seats and then drive like a anon, like you want to hit someone.

>>937890042 (OP)
This little bastards can destroy car windows with almost zero effort. You could probably do a whole dealership in just a few minutes

>>937898365
The defrost vent they mean, I'm sure.

Just fuckin spray it with brake cleaner
It’ll destroy the paint, it’s acetone, it eats plastics and rubber. It’ll just fuck up weather trim and window sealant and make wiper blades gooey.
If you can get under the car just snip the first wire bundle you see in its entirety

>>937890042 (OP)
My favorite used to be superglue in the locks

Kinda outdated now days witha lot of cars though.

Paint thinner ina spray bottle can work wonders on paint

If you have a semi open window you can get a small bottle of india ink and make a small dry ice bomb with a small plastic bottle, water, ink and dry ice

Fill tires with poop

5 gallon bucket of flat roof bonding adhesive
It’ll take the paint off with it and will require being scraped off the metal
Downside
>expensive
But if you really wanna fuck someone’s shit up that’s probably the most destructive thing you could do to the outside of someone’s vehicle before just resorting to physical impacts. It’ll get into all the rain channels and clog them, it’ll get into the hvac intake, it’ll bond to the plastic, it’ll get into the window seals and bond the windows in whatever position they’re in forever.
If you can get it inside the car it’ll basically require a new interior because there’s no cleaning it.

>>937899269
>flat 4
Yeah if she ain't flat, she definitely ain't 4!

>>937890042 (OP)
What you will need:
A tire gauge.
A valve core remover.
A manual bicycle tire pump.
A bottle of water.
A small funnel (must fit in a valve stem).

This will require a little bit of luck or at the very least patience. You will want to do this when the car is parked in such a way that one of the front wheels is oriented with the valve stem near the bottom, facing upward. If it is all the way at the bottom, this may or may not work. If it is at like a 22° angle up from bottom dead center, that's probably better.

You will need plenty of time to execute this operation so either the car must be somewhere very isolated where no one will walk up on you and/or this must be done at night.

First, use the tire gauge to note how much air is in the tire. It will probably be around 30 to 35 PSI or whatever communist unit equivalent you may use in your country. Once you have noted the tire pressure, use your valve core remover to remove the core of the valve stem. Be very mindful that the sudden outrush of air doesn't blow the core out of your hand. You will need it later.
Once the air has forcefully evacuated from the tire, take the funnel and pour the water in. Once you have poured the entire contents of the bottle (however big it is) or it begins overflowing and you can't pour anymore in, use the core tool to put the core back into the valve stem.
Now take the bicycle pump and start pumping. You will be there awhile.
Once the tire seems fairly firm, use the tire gauge to ensure that the tire is back to its original pressure. Your work is done.

The driver of the car will be none the wiser that anything has happened to their tire since it will be back to its original pressure. However, they will notice a horrible vibration as they drive and the water that is now inside their tire is thrown around like a centrifuge.

>>937892029
Sugar doesn't dissolve in gas, you inbred moron. The fuel filter will block it out and it's just gonna sit there for years doing nothing.

>>937898180
>>937898240
And yet it works. This is what happens when you let the internet do your thinking for you.

>>937890042 (OP)
Pour gas on the car and set it on fire.

>>937890042 (OP)
Shotgun shell pushed primer first up exhaust until it drops into muffler. Epoxy fuel door shut. Fish guts stuffed under hood near windshield. Hydrofluoric acid on glass and car body. Racist bumper stickers they fail to notice. Swapping their licence plates from others. Hiding a felony level amount of drugs hidden on vehicle then use a burner phone to call them in. Works even better if they're driving across the north or south borders.

>>937898357
Fill exhaust with rapid expanding foam insulation. You can get it to fill the muffler and up into the manifold. Slip a bit of thick plastic bag over the end, grab around to kinda seal, poke stem of can foam insulation in and let it rip.

Corn syrup in tank is far more effective than granular sugar. Especially when you add 1/4 of everclear to the corn syrup so it mixes better with the fuel. It quickly gums up injectors, valves and cylinders. Engine first runs rough then seizes.

Get a grease gun, load it up with valve lapping compound which is diamond grit in grease. Find as many of the grease nipples on the undercarriage as you can and fill them with hand lapping compound. U joints, ball joints, tie end rods.. Steering components.

>>937890042 (OP)
Hey, let’s get down to brass tacks: here’s how to fuck someone up via their car … rub raw chicken on all of the door handles. The juicier the better. Keep at it, and always handle with gloves. You’d be surprised how easily one’s finger contents gets ingested / cross contaminated throughout the day. And having used this specific method along the way, lemme tell ya, constant and unsuspecting salmonella poisoning can really harm a person physically and psychologically LOLOLOL.