>be me
>go to a party with my gf
>decide to drink 2 bottles of vodka between us all(6) in a park
>she drinks a little bit but not too much I didn’t think think
>i was wrong
>she keeps falling over and eventually goes starts to go in and out of consciousness
>eventually fully unconscious
>abusive mum rings her like 10000 times to which all her friends lie
>mum thinks something’s suspicious
>comes to the park
>sees gf unconscious throwing up on the floor
>calls ambulance
>gf now in children’s hospital
>she has to spend the night
Mfw I miss my wife

>gf now in childrens hospital
anon.... how old is your gf?

>>937896598 (OP)
Why do you have a gf and a wife?

>>937896843
>it’s the same person
>calling her my wife, but we aren’t married
Mfw retarded anon can’t keep track

>>937896782
We don’t need to answer that

>>937896782
12 why?

>>937896598 (OP)
I'll take good care of her..

>>937897161
Mfw sad predtards turn my sadness into a jerking session with their femboy cuck helping like wtf

>>937897379
Mfw I accidentally close tab so now it looks like I’m not the fucking op

>>937897379
what do u do then, play her dead mom??

>>937897939
>Wut.jpeg
>neither are dead?(hopefully)
Mfw?

>>937896598 (OP)
When someone is so drunk that they're not responsive, then the body won't respond if they throw up.

They can choke to death.

So, yeah, getting medical help was a good call.

it's been a while since a good shitpost. How did you meet your gf anon? a playground I presume?

>>937898292
I thought it was, but I had her bent over and stuff so if she threw up, she’d be safe. But it was getting to the point where she was acc starting to move limbs and her head before her mum came and started slapping her and shit. I hope my baby’s alright and I hope her plastic faced retarded mother burns in hell, glad she got her help for once though I guess

>>937898303
4chan user finds out about a thing called a “relationship”, yes they’re real, yes people under 18 have them, and yes every single one isn’t pedophillic like what your search history might suggest

>>937898493
Are you illiterate, retarded, or both? Do I have to explain the events OP typed out and ruin the joke?

>>937898619
Mfw it’s a genuine event that happened to me today

>>937898832
Have you talked to your wife about your gf yet?

>>937898985
>>937897051

>>937898832

Post a picture of your little boy dick.

>>937899439
I don’t have one, turns out I’ve been the dyketard all along