Thread 938058970

I wish to consult with the hivemind about something.

A while ago, I violated someone's trust without them knowing. My conscience certainly got to me, and in evaluating what to do next, I realized that the "traditional" answer to that question -- which is to come clean and tell that person what I did -- may cause the most harm to that very person. THEY currently live in a reality where I did no such thing. The alternative, of course, is not to tell them, and suffer alone in my guilt. I've chosen the latter. It's not a perfect solution but it's the one that hurts them the least, now that I cannot undo what I've done.

In pondering all that, I realized that I'm the only one who truly knows myself and the lies I tell or the deceitful things I do. Extrapolating on that, I could say that 100% of the people that I COULD know an "absolute truth" about, are much worse than they let on. Obviously this is a sample size of 1, but I think you see what I'm getting at.

So is this true? Are, in fact, MOST people lying, cheating, stealing, and being unfaithful to their spouses? And they're just responsible enough not to get caught? Obviously there are unscrupulous people out there, but maybe they're just dumb enough to be found out. Are we all fucking each other over constantly?

A humble bump

>>938058970 (OP)
In my estimation, most people live in a state of lack of concern with doing the wrong thing.
They have learned that there are not often consequences to lying and cheating, and they therefore do not feel guilt or remorse because the issue is never brought to light. The number of times they can get caught and play it off as a simple error of judgment or knowledge also enables a long-term lack of concern with such behaviour.

I am different; I have lied less than 10 times in my life and cheated once, only slightly. I am close to 50 now, so not a bad record. I am in the 0.1 to 1 % in many respects, so do not expect everyone to be like me.

>>938062054
>>938058970 (OP)
The fact is that most lies and cheats against people would only matter if the people knew and are in fact just things that happen in life and are not worth caring about.

>>938062176
>most lies and cheats against people would only matter if the people knew

So you would agree that people are just careful enough not to get caught? Effectively: careful enough not to cause harm to others while they get their "nut?"

>>938058970 (OP)
>>938058970 (OP)
Also worth considering is that if a person cheats on you ten times in a year, they have spent a tiny fraction of a percent of your relationship's actual content in temporal terms doing something perceived as wrong.

Because of this, forgiveness not only is sensible, but it also makes the future brighter for both of you.

>>938062281
It is not about being careful, it is usually about situations that are unexpected appearing in their lives and they did not plan it, serial cheating is not common.

>>938062374
>serial cheating is not common

That's what I used to think, but look at the massive infrastructure of online forums. The massage parlors, prostitution and escort services in every city in the world. You're telling me this is sustained by a minority?

>>938062481
Even if it was the majority which it is not, it would account for a tiny fraction of all interactions.

You are displaying common paranoia based intellectual corruption of statistical clarity.

>>938062678
>intellectual corruption of statistical clarity

you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded

>>938062754
Recruit, you fall out of bed and hit the floor head first with talk like that.

That you shit the bed by having paranoid thoughts does not mean the concussion has saved you.

I shit you, and your unit.

>>938062921
k

>>938058970 (OP)
Hivemind online.
If there are any more questions for all units below my level, now is the time to ask.

Switching units, Lias is now online for questions.

Awaiting input.

it should not be about relieving your guilt, but mending the wrong.

she doesnt know, so telling may be hurtful or healing, who knows?

i think you should change (leaving or not repeating or whatever), and make reparations, preemptive, if you wish.

sorry i cannot help anymore
tldr: try to make her genuinely happy, and maybe someday confess. idk. good luck.